How do you tell both your mom and mother in law that you DO NOT want wither in delivery room?

Answer 1

It is so important that you have the person you feel the most comfortable with in the delivery room with you. I gave birth 3 weeks ago, and my mom also wanted to be in the delivery room with me, and I simply told her that it was going to be just my husband and I, but that I would LOVE to have her with us after the baby was born. Your mother and your mother in law should want the best for you as you do for your baby. Plus, the more people in the delivery room, the more overwhelming it can be.

Answer 2

You might not have to tell them; the medical staff and your doctor will most likely do it for you (like mine did.) Everyone was shooed out of the room with no chance for explanation. My husband and I made that arrangement long beforehand, then told the doctor when she asked what our preferences would be. So if you feel uncomfortable telling them you don't want them in the room, the doctor won't have any issues pushing them out.

Plus there's also some hospitals that strictly limit who can be in the room during delivery.

Answer 3

direct works for me ... then again I am a guy not a gal.
why do you not want them either of them there? is it really that you don't want one of them but you feel that excluding both will be easier to avoid hurt feelings, i.e. that you are not playing favorites? I actually cannot really see anyone besides the medical personal and your husband being in the delivery room itself (sure, others can wait outside) unless you really want them in there. do your mother and/or mother-in-law want to be there because you husband cannot and they feel that you need someone to provide "moral support"? I mean this is not a family reunion or social function ... so again I wonder why the "more the merrier" attitude. Without knowing, do they really want to be there or do they feel obligated to be there but would be quite happy if you said you did not want them there? Why do you not want them to be there? Is there bad blood between you or you just feel like you need to do this yourself? Is the issue of modesty and privacy at the heart of this ... because if it is, trust me as soon as you start having contractions, you will forget about everything else ... you could be giving birth on national TV during the superbowl and you would not give a damn.

sorry, more questions than answers ... maybe something will be helpful though?

Answer 4

I experienced this problem too. It seems like every friend that I have who make their child's birth a spectacle to be watched ended up having horrible deliveries from the stress of feeling like they needed to preform.

I tried to tell my Mom who is pretty over-bearing that I didn't want people in there other then my boyfriend and my doula (who is GREAT support to have, by the way). She would get angry and hurt... so I just ended up not calling anyone when I went into labor. I called after my son was born. My Mom was so angry she didn't come to see him until the next day late in the afternoon and acted like a child, sulking. She got over it though. And my son's delivery was great without her or anyone else "watching".

I'm GLAD I didn't have her in there!

Answer 5

I never actually had to tell them. They weren't invited in the first place so.... When the time came for us to go to the hospital, we just went. We called them both when I was about to start pushing, but we had the nurses tell them to sit in the waiting room. It was never a big deal really. My M-I-L always assumed she was going to be there, but like I said, we just let the nurses know that we didn't want anyone in the delivery room and they made sure that was what happened.

Answer 6

Ah that's a tough one! Both my mom and my mom in law wanting in on my son's birth. I told them that I preferred it just to be my husband and me so I can concentrate better and that I was more comfortable that way. It also helped that the hospital only allowed 2 people in the room, and both couldn't be in there! It turned out well. If they are reasonable they should understand that.

Answer 7

Just tell them. Say, "Mom, I only want the baby's father in the delivery room. You and MIL can come in very soon after the baby is born, but I would prefer my privacy before then."

As above poster said, if they jerks about it, just don't call anybody when you go into labor until after the baby is born.

Answer 8

The only people who will be in the delivery room besides medical staff are the mom and dad. No debate, no hemming and hawing, just a straight announcement.

Answer 9

Just tell them that you only want your husband in there. No reason to elaborate on it. It is your decision, not theirs. My mom never asked to be in the room. She always says it is something personal between a husband and wife and besides the doctor and nurse no need for an audience.

Answer 10

This happened to me. My first child I had hubby and his mom. My second was hubby and my mom. The third - was just hubby. I loved it!! That's how I should have done all three!!
I just told them seperately that I only wanted hubby in there.
It is our last child.
Or you could say this - "We made the baby together by ourselves, the baby is going to come out with just us there."
Good luck!
Also - tell the nurses. As long as you tell them and make sure they tell the next shift if you don't deliver on theirs, they will reinforce this BIG time!!! That's part of their job is to keep Momma happy!!!