babys and coffee?

Question

my father in law insists on feeding my nine month old coffee when we meet him in the morning. my husband tried to tell him to stop but that just made him insist on it more. How do i get him to stop?

my babys a girl and already pretty active, we go to the coffee shop to spend time with her grandfather, and he buys us our coffee. He really intimidates me, and completley ignores me when i tell him anything. Just shrugs me off and says he did it with his kids.

Answer 1

Tough Love:
"Dad...if you feed the baby coffee again, you will not be allowed to see him/her until (s)he is in his/her (mid to late)teens and has decided whether they are to be coffee drinkers or not."

"Friendly"
"Dad, stop it."

Subtle
"Now that you have him/her so wired on caffeine, YOU can take him/her for the day, and deal with the crankiness, hyperactivity, etc." (And drop all the supplies for junior for the day at his side of the table.)

"Unfriendly"
"Dad, no coffee for baby...or else."
(And make the or else stick...)

Alternatively...don't bring the baby when you go to see him. Presumably you can find a reliable sitter for an hour or so?

If you can't find a sitter, beg off until the kid is old enough to entertain him/herself *safely* in public. If gramps starts feeding the baby coffee on other visits, make your apologies and *leave.* Whether a parent's concerns are valid or not (and the jury is out on coffee & kids right now), how a kid is to be raised and the contents of their diet - provided there is no life-shattering issues arising from the coices made - is up to the PARENTS (or the child's/mother's doctor), and is to be abided by.

In any case...caffeine is a diuretic, and dehydration can be a SERIOUSLY dangerous situation in younger children, since their bodies are still adapting, and are prone to such things in the first place.

Answer 2

Nine months is much too young for coffee!

I drank weak, milky coffee as a child (I live in the UK and its not as big a taboo over here to let children drink weak tea and coffee as it is in the USA) but not at nine months! Nine years maybe!

I would not allow your FIL to give your baby coffee. My son is nine and half months and I can't imagine him on coffee. He's a terrible sleeper as it is so I'd end up all night with him! Argh!

I would simply tell your FIL that you do not think its right for a baby to be drinking coffee and if he continues doing it you won't bring the baby around to him anymore! Make him see how seriously you take this!

Answer 3

As you know, coffee is very bad for babies. They are developing their ammune and nervous systems. I would guess that you might have a jumpy baby. If you don't want that then tell him straight forward to stop and stop right now. He has no business giving your baby that and it's your responiblity to stop it. Be firm. Don't ask him to quit TELL him. This may be uncomfortable for you, and I have an overbearing MIL, so I understand. Just put your foot down and don't pick it back up until he quits. This is wrong. Caffiene is very dangerous! My son is nine and I can count on one hand how many times he's had caffiene. Caffine is also addictive, I know you don't want your baby addicted to it. You know what you need to do, now do it. Be strong!

Answer 4

I have a cousin that actually gave her children coffee with milk in a bottle and then a sippy cup after they were old enough to drink from one. ......because she was a "coffee lover" and didn't want her kids missing out. I can tell you that her children are all healthy adults with children of their own.....but........
I would tell him that it has caffeine in it and that you don't want your baby having it no matter what. That is a decision that he needs to respect. If that didn't work then I would stop meeting him in the morning. It really isn't about the coffee. I am sure that he doesn't give the baby cups of it. It is about respecting your decisions as parents that relate to your child.

Answer 5

Is there somewhere else you can meet other than the coffee shop? If the weather wasn't so bad I'd suggest the park. Maybe you could find somewhere locally that would be a better place to meet where there's no coffee to be purchased.

Answer 6

I have an intimidating father-in-law also. When I faced a similar situation I finally asked my husband for help. I told my husband that I really wanted to get along with his dad, but he was really undermining me as a parent. So, my husband and I arranged a time to sit down with his dad and talk honestly with him. There was no yelling, cussing, screaming, etc. I just told him how I felt and the situation got better. You don't want to alienate your father-in-law, but you do have a right to be respected.

Answer 7

Tell him she prefers tea! Then explain that she does not need the extra caffeine, what with her pack a day diaper habit. Then speak seriously to him and tell him to cut it out or the morning meetings are going to stop, in the nicest but firmest possible way.

There are health benefits to drinking coffee, if you just end up at status quo - make him switch to decaf, no if ands or buts.

Answer 8

Tell him that coffee stops your baby from absorbing iron from their diet (as does tea also). Advise him that pure fruit juice that is high in vitamin c on the other hand, helps in the absorption of iron which is important for your little one at this age as they have now used up their inborn store of iron (it gets used up by six months of age) and are completely reliant on their diet to provide it. Encourage him to feed your little one some freshly squeezed orange, much tastier and healthier than coffee for a baby!!!!

Answer 9

you know what, stay home with your baby and send your husband to see his father, his father will undoubted ask where you and the baby are, and your husband call honestly tell him you didn't want her hanging out drinking coffee at a coffee shop at only nine months old.. unless of course there is something alternative provided for her to drink, you'll just stay home with her.

at least thats what i'd do, and my father in law in a 6'4 marine and NO ONE intimidates me into letting them do something with my child i don't approve of.. i'm 5'2.. and i will stare that man down anyday. :)

goodluck!

Answer 10

I know how you feel. Your father in law sounds like mine. Throw a fit. Cause a scene. Yell at him in front of everyone. Tell him you have had enough of him not listening to the rules you set forth and if it is going to be this way you are going to stop allowing him to see your child. Make sure you call the baby "my child"