My fiance's brother and his wife live 3000 miles away and I've only met her twice. I am not particularly close with her, and have already asked my 4 sisters, my daughter and my best friend. My fiance has no qualms with his sister in law not being in the wedding, but his brother and his wife have informed us that it is bad ettiquette and rude not to have asked her to be in the wedding.
2007-09-24 07:16:45 · 24 answers · asked by Katie T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No it's not! Your bridesmaids are supposed to be YOUR best friends and family and his groomsman are HIS friends and family. If he wants her in the weddings, I have seen more and more female groomsman. Just this weekend I attended a wedding where the bridesmaids wore knee length blue dresses and gold shoes with flowers in their hair and one girl groomsman who wore a floor length black dress (like a tuxedo) with a feathered tophat which matched the groomsman's.... Don't let people tell you those things!!!
2007-09-24 07:21:53 · answer #1 · answered by puredoller 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It is not rude at all. You should only have people you are close to. Do not be bullied into having someone in your wedding, you will only regret it and hate seeing her in all your wedding pictures. If you want to include her, think about a smaller role, like being in charge of the wedding book for signatures, or handing out favors.
2007-09-24 14:21:47 · answer #2 · answered by C M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is actually the other way around. The expectation of anyone to be assume they would be in your wedding party is bad mannered. Secondly, the women who are your bridesmaids should only be those closest to you and have provided positive support through the years. It's a place of honor and no one, especially someone you've met twice, should assume to be a bridesmaid.
I read your other question and... the people who are being self-centered is your fiancee's brother and his wife. They are only thinking about themselves, especially her.
2007-09-24 15:53:50 · answer #3 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wedding party is supposed to consist of those you are close to. Your fiance's brother and wife are being extremely rude by telling you she has to be in the wedding.
2007-09-24 15:05:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is "proper" to ask the spouse of a person who is supposed to be in the wedding party to also be in the party, however, it sounds like you have enough already. So your future brother-in-law and sister-in-law are correct about the etiquette, but are being very rude about it. What is this woman's interest in being in your party if she's not close to you? I find this difficult to understand.
You could tell her that you appreciate it but you have a lot of maids already and you are happy to save her the expense of having to travel to the shower and buying the dress. That gives her an out.
2007-09-24 14:23:05 · answer #5 · answered by Meredith 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should inform them that it's bad etiquette to whine about not being in a wedding party. To the best of my knowledge there is nothing that states that any close females in the grooms family must be asked to be bridesmaids.
2007-09-24 15:21:10 · answer #6 · answered by Manny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't have to be anything. IF you & htb want, you can ask her to do something like guestbook (there's actually quite a bit involved there, too because she'd be responsible for taking gifts brought to the ceremony to the reception, taking gifts at the reception, and making sure everyone has signed), a reading, an usher (nothing wrong with a gal doing it from my point of view), your personal attendant - makes sure your dress, makeup,etc are all either where you're going to do them, and that you have everything.... so many things that she can do to help. Hopefully she'll get un-bent and be happy to share the day with you.
2007-09-24 16:29:19 · answer #7 · answered by Asked and Answered 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not rude and you don't have to have her in it. My fiance has 5 sister and NONE of them are in it because then I couldn't have any friends and I am not close with any of them.
Have her do a reading so she is still including in the wedding.
2007-09-24 14:24:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO!!!
now get on with your wedding plans and just forget them. Their loss if they dont come. And I wouldnt worry, they are 3000 miles away so you wont be encountering them too often.
You stick to your guns. I wouldnt want some woman I hardly know in my wedding either, and there is no rule that says you have to. They are using standover tactics to bully you into doing things their way. If she is too insecure to be at the wedding and not be by her husbands side, then that is her problem.
When my ex father in law got married again, my ex husband was bestman. I wasnt included in the wedding party, I got stuck off with people I didnt know, but I dealt with it. I wouldnt have expected to be "in" the wedding in the first place.
Good luck.
2007-09-24 16:15:49 · answer #9 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can pick whom ever you want. It's not bad etiquette at all! You want to surround yourself with people that you are close to now. You may one day be closer with your sister-in-law, but for now it's just not reasonable for her to be a bridesmaid. You can still include her in the wedding by having her be an usher, reader, reception hostest, or something like that.
2007-09-24 15:01:07 · answer #10 · answered by LSU_Tiger23 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋