Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. --(Deuteronomy 21:11-13)
Find a prostitute and marry her. --(Hosea 1:1-3)
Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. --Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)
Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. --Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)
Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. --Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)
Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib. --Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)
Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman. --Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)
Cut off 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife. --David (I Samuel 18:27)
Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative of course.) --Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)
Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. --Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)
When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a ... woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." --Samson (Judges 14:1-3)
Kill any husband and take his wife. (Prepare to lose four sons though). --David (2 Samuel 11)
Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea, it's the law). --Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)
Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. --Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)
A wife? Not!!! --Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
(Note: I'm passing this bit of humor along, and I didn't write it. Disagree with the interpretation? Fine, but keep it to yourself; I'm not interested in reading your argument. Again, I didn't write it. Oh, and by the way: I didn't write it.)
2007-09-24 06:59:33 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
LOL! Thanks for that...no, no, really...thanks! :-)
2007-09-24 07:04:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Emmm, this ain't sayin much for Womens Liberation does it. Or, not even for the right of a woman to choose. I always did think the Bible was for men, not women. Maybe thats why Catholics only have men priests too and some christian beliefs (since I live in the US) still keep their women more as servants than a contributing member of the family.
2016-05-17 10:39:36 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny
2007-09-24 14:15:22 · answer #3 · answered by Widgi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very funny.
2007-09-24 07:03:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, I guess you did not write this?? That's OK it's still funny!!!!
2007-09-24 09:54:05 · answer #5 · answered by brneyedgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who wrote that? Did you write that?
2007-09-24 07:12:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
really funny
2007-09-30 03:15:26 · answer #7 · answered by riti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, I can't believe you wrote this.
2007-09-24 07:04:17 · answer #8 · answered by BROOOOOKLYN 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
who'd say that book had jokes in it... LMAO : )
2007-09-24 07:10:27 · answer #9 · answered by Miss Ladybug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg i'm lmao!
2007-09-24 07:06:08 · answer #10 · answered by Ally 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did you write that?
2007-09-24 07:03:43 · answer #11 · answered by islandgirl God and family 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋