My neighbor just died and the during the wake, I overheard someone ask the grieving wife if he can purchase one of their cars (now that they only need one).
The guy was trying to talk prices and really holding up the receiving line...
Sickening! What would you have done? Anyone have any similiar stories?
2007-09-24 06:35:05 · 21 answers · asked by Reserved 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I would have jap slapped him
2007-09-24 06:38:25 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What a total jerk. I'm sure the wife was so overcome she really could have cared less about that car at that moment.
Similar story. We were all gathered at the church after leaving the cemetery. The lovely church ladies had prepared all sorts of homemade cakes, soups, sandwiches, etc. The tables were bending with food. My brother asked, " Who are those people in the back? Do you know them?" Turns out it was just some strangers following the hearse, looking for some free food. I have since learned this is not uncommon at all. I still can't get over that.
2007-09-24 06:43:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would I have done?
Frozen in horror, but then I don't think fast in emergencies.
Uh, violence would NOT have been the thing to do, as it wouldn't have made an ugly scene.
I don't know whether there's anything a bystander can do in this situation that wouldn't have made things worse.
I don't have any such stories of my own, but I read a lot of Miss Manners, and someone wrote her of a relative laying out advertising brochures at a funeral. (Now THAT's class!)
The person kept picking them up and dumping them.
Miss Manners said it would also have been OK say to him "Gee, do you realize you've just managed to associate your company in everyone's mind with grief and loss?"
Your story reminds me of a Seinfeld where Elaine kept bugging a widower about his apartment. Sounds like this freak got his manners from that.
I think the only thing you could do under the circumstances would be to completely snub him.
Edit for an afterthought: I suppose Miss Manners would approve of someone saying, in a shocked voice, "How COULD you?!" while glaring at him.
2007-09-24 08:07:33 · answer #3 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, popping him one is not appropriate either, nor ladylike.
What he did was the most ignorant thing that I have ever heard. There is no excuse, but perhaps inbreeding is the reason.
It may be good schooling for him to be pulled aside very soon and reminded that the time and place was SO, SO, SO wrong that no matter what his situation was it was just inappropriate.
Please get to him and let him know that this type of behavior was so ill timed and insensitive to the grieving. He should have attended only to bring support and caring words to the survivors.
Should he defend his actions or timing, it is your only chance to re-remind him that the timing, place and sensitivity was wrong for that kind of conversation. Then walk away before YOU become infected...
2007-09-24 07:43:09 · answer #4 · answered by joe_on_drums 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, um, I would probably have removed him from the situation, assuming the widow didn't want to talk shop, and explained he should wait for a better time.
Honestly, my Dad died in May, we had the funeral on a Saturday, that Monday a family friend called asking if we wanted to rent out the room my Dad was in. He talked with me first, and asked me to decide if Mom was up for that kind of thing. She and I were so happy, we needed the money, Dad had always wanted to try renting a room, it was perfect. That was us, not everyone.
On the flip side, at the funeral, someone, who shall go nameless:D, was letting her son throw the berievment flowers at people. I was SOOOO angry, but knew if I stopped him, it would be a bit permanent, for him and his mother. Someone came up to me, and assumed he was my nephew, he isn't, and told me to go stop him. I explained I couldn't and that she could ask his mother. The person asking me to stop him simply sighed sadly and walked away. I was blown away, I am the son of the dead person, and she wanted me to take care of someone else's kid. Thankfully the next person, a total stranger till then, to mention him simply said, Would you guys like me to handle him, what is his name.
So through the whole thing some good did come. I am sorry for the loss of your neighbor.
2007-09-26 22:51:17 · answer #5 · answered by Ish Var Lan Salinger 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is really inappropriate. Not at the funeral. The poor widow but the guy was probably thinking that she'd give him a lower price at that time just to get rid of him. He does need to be smacked....if only it was covered under the law. *sigh*
2007-09-24 06:43:12 · answer #6 · answered by Lex 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No similar story, buy boy that's tacky! I hope he doesn't try to take advantage of her while she's going through such a difficult time. Is your neighborhood very close? If so, perhaps people can stick close by and make sure this guy doesn't try to rip her off.
2007-09-24 06:42:53 · answer #7 · answered by Lillith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would have told the guy to get lost. The police were called to my grandmother's viewing when one of my cousins started a fight between 2 of her brothers. Sounds a little redneck, I know.
2007-09-24 09:24:00 · answer #8 · answered by Jim J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would've pulled him aside and told him to wait for a more appropriate time to discuss such things. Sounds like a con man trying to take advantage of the situation.
2007-09-24 06:38:56 · answer #9 · answered by Keltasia 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would have quietly placed my large male body between the " gentleman" and the widow and with one large paw firmly placed on the " gentlemans " shoulder I would have gently but firmly escorted him away from the widow. Problem solved
2007-09-24 07:02:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
O.K. that is very disrespectful for sure. Maybe you could have pulled him aside and told him now is not the time nor place to be discussing any type of business.
2007-09-24 06:39:17 · answer #11 · answered by Lisa T (Stop BSL) 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋