well..i m married since last 4 months...still unable to do sex with my husband..as he is too caring, when ever he tried to penetration and it hurt me tremendous he just stopped there.as it hurt me he also tries less...i feel really sorry for him as i cant make him satisfied.
i took a serious plan...next day i will go to ask him -
1 - hold me hard.
2 - straight insert ur penis inside me - dont do it slowly, do it just quick...just enter it at one chance.
3 - no matter how much i get hurt, dont stop hold me tight so that i cant push u from me....
so...this is my plan. do u think, will it do any harm to my body without hurting tremendous? i m a virgin and i really dont want to delay anymore..i want to serve my husband truely!
2007-09-24 06:13:24 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he always does enough foreplay...till 1to 1and 30 mints he does...i too become wet...but when he tried to enter, at the begining it hurt serious and he leave me..as i m 20, he says okay leave it take ur time and be little more bigger.
2007-09-24 06:20:28 · update #1
Your are a brave woman, and should be commended. I wouldn't suggest you ask him to push no matter what, he could damage you seriously. It shouldn't hurt, and you should enjoy it if everything is working properly. Have you asked your doctor about this problem?
2007-09-24 06:18:05 · answer #1 · answered by Steve C 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I admire your resolution and your willingness to please your husband even though you're nervous about it.
Use a lot of lubrication. If there is a kind that becomes *slightly* warm instead of staying cold, use that.
I'm embarrassed to say this but my first experience was something like that. I was scared of the pain I thought I would feel, but I was determined to be able to have intercourse. The pain level reached that of all the unsuccessful attempts before, but to my surprise it got no worse ... I discovered that I had already experienced the worst of the pain, and that it got no worse when penetration was complete. So all along, I had been scared of a terrible pain that never came.
I think you're going to want him to go a little slow, because that will be easier on you. Fast can make you tighten up and that can make it more uncomfortable for you.
Most people get to like sex with experience :) I hope that is true for you. Practice every chance you get :) God bless your marriage.
puff
2007-09-24 06:31:55 · answer #2 · answered by pufferoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming you are from a different culture than me. I live in the USA. While penetration is uncomfortable to a virgin, it does not hurt tremendously. I can't imagine what you would think child birth feels like if you think sex hurts.
I would suggest you buy some lubrication. Here in the USA, we can get lube in any drug store. You also need to learn to relax and enjoy the moment. Forget the "sexual plan" and talk to your husband about foreplay. If you have him "do it just quick" it will hurt! You need the foreplay to be ready for sex.
2007-09-24 06:22:29 · answer #3 · answered by kja63 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This plan will not harm your body but it will cause you some pain. Have you been to your Dr. to make sure there is nothing medically wrong with you. I mean if you have a tremendous amount of pain there could be something there. If you pysically ok then I think your plan is great. Your husband loves you and he will be gentle in his own way but I think this plan will be good. You need to be mentally aware though that he isn't out to hurt you and after he breaks you it wont hurt so bad and you can make love to him everynight and enjoy it. I'm happy that you have an understanding husband.
2007-09-24 06:19:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My first was like that. Slow is ok, don't go too fast you can really hurt more that way. You will probably bleed a few days afterward too. It's normal. A lot of people are smaller and it's something the body has to get used to. It will tear a bit because nothing has been there yet. Tampons aren't anything like a penis.
Hope it all works out, once it's over it will get easier as you "practice".
2007-09-24 06:18:19 · answer #5 · answered by Casie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it really hurt me the first few times me and my boyfriend tried to have sex, and he tried less and less each time so not to hurt me too. i wouldn't ask him to do that, if he cares so much about you it might offend him, or even scare him, if i asked my boyfriend to do that to me he would see it as rape. and being treated like that will upset you too! just take your time.
Men tend to become sexually aroused more quickly than women. So, often they insert the penis before a woman's body has had time to become fully aroused. If the guy is aware of the difference in arousal speed, then he may be more willing to take his time during foreplay. This lets the vagina become sufficiently lubricated and for the woman's body to become ready for vaginal intercourse. Unfortunately, when people are first having sex, they tend to be impatient, clumsy, and self-conscious — which is why people's first experiences aren't always the greatest.
The most important key is communication. Let your partner know what is comfortable and what is not comfortable. Encourage him to take his time. Let him know that women need a longer period of stimulation than men to become fully aroused. If partners take their time, are attentive to one another's pleasure, and they communicate, there can be very little discomfort and sex can be very pleasant — even the first time.
I would really just experiment a lot more, i know that it will take time but its worth it, book a hotel for the night and just have fun, dont set a date to have your first time, it will happen.
2007-09-24 06:26:34 · answer #6 · answered by cLaReBeLle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what I would do...use some kind of lubrication, this will make him slide in better and make sure he uses his hands to stimulate you first...this will make you want it more and then you wont think about the pain so much...for every woman it is different...this first time you have sex you are probably going to hate it and think why do people like doing this so much but it does get better..dont be so scared women have being having sex forever, its naturaly...this is a special moment for you and your husband to enjoy together....good luck!!
2007-09-24 06:19:49 · answer #7 · answered by Stacy! 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your way to nervous! Your so tight because your thinking about it to much. You need to relax and enjoy the ride!
You also might want to try warming up before the "big ride". First, drink some wine before you try it again. Wine will relax you a little. Then have him give you oral sex. That will also relax things down there. Then go for it!
Good luck!
2007-09-24 06:38:10 · answer #8 · answered by iofstorm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that's the best way, and with enough foreplay, lubrication, and patience he should be able to penetrate you.
Have you been to your doctor to determine if there is a physical reason why it causes you so much pain? If not, do so to make sure there's not a medical issue...and your doc may also be able to suggest things you can try to make it less uncomfortable the first time.
2007-09-24 06:17:07 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
No this doesn't sound okay. It could be very painful to do this way. You would end up screaming and struggling which more or less is rape if you are wanting him to stop and he won't. You need to do some deep breathing and try to relax when he is entering you. Use a lubricant to help.
2007-09-24 06:20:45 · answer #10 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it is really THAT painful go to your gynecologist. They can cut your hymen and that will take care of the problem. Just don't try to make love with your husband until a few days later as you will probably be sore. As your doctor about this.
2007-09-24 06:58:39 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋