Health Visitor doing my head in!?

Question

She's such a rude bossy patronising *****!

She's on my back all the time. "Oh its wrong to co-sleep with a 10 month old baby. He should be in his own room and you should do controlled crying. Oh he shouldn't be eating that he should be eating this, oh he should be weaning off the breast now he doesn't need breast milk at nearly 10 months blah de blah de blah"

Not only that by she came round today and had the cheek to tell me my house smelt of dogs!

Yes we do have two dogs but I am scrupulously clean about cleaning up after them so I was mortified! She then started on about how "unhygenic" it was to have dogs in the house with a baby and how I should have the dogs rehomed.

To be honest I *am* thinking of rehoming them (too much work tbh now) but it has nothing to do with her!

Why is this woman so bloody rude and interfering?! Can I make her leave me alone? Everyone in the area complains about her and a friend of mine changed surgery to get away from the bint!

She visits everyone right up till their babies are a year old or over. If you're a fairly naive first timer mum like me she's round all the bloody time!!! The only ones who manage to keep her off their backs are second or third timers and those with a bit more backbone to stand up to her, lol!

Answer 1

A health visitor?????? I am assuming you live in the UK or something. Even though they could be of assistance, that sound like a HUGE invasion of privacy.

There is NOTHING wrong with co sleeping, even though I personally wouldn't do that because it's hard to get them to readjust to their own room later.

Also, they are saying now that having pets in the house is GOOD for children. Prevents them from certain types of allergies.

Answer 2

Just don't answer the door when she comes around - yell through the door the baby is down for a nap and you were just about to head int eh shower and to come back later (then go out) if she schedules when she comes by - be out and leave a note saying sorry friend needed a baby sitter for work last minute sorry i missed you..only have 2 months to avoid her..

Or tell her to piss off to her face..babies should be breastfed till they are at least 12 months old

Dogs are not unhygienic in fact having dogs and even a little dirt around your children helps build up their immunity so they get sick less often (that's why germ a phobe mother have such sickly children they keep everything too clean and when there kid is exposed to some random germ they have no immunity and no defense to it)

there is no such thing as controlled crying (ignore the old bitty)

and although I would never co-sleep it is part of attachment parenting and she should respect your choice to parent that way

Good luck

Answer 3

If I were you, I'd write boss a letter explaining her conduct. Don't call - a letter is better since it has to be formerly dealt with. Don't be afraid to be demanding - you pay your taxes or health insurance, so you deserve good, polite treatment. Certainly you shouldn't be insulted in your own home, how very rude!

Tell her manager you expect a reply in 7 days, and ask him or her what they intend to do about it. By explaining that you expect this to be actioned, you are far more likely to get a replacement health visitor, and she will be reprimanded. Raise your kids the way you think is right; mother knows best and you should trust your instincts.

ps - I rolled around with cats and dogs and cows as a child (grew up around a lot of animals!) and it never did me any harm at all.

Answer 4

i might struggle by way of what the pediatrician says. My daughter became a twin (her twin became stillborn) and he or she wasn't a preemie in keeping with say yet she in basic terms weighed 4 lbs. 11 oz.. when I had her and when I extra her homestead she had lost 5 oz. She ate like a horse and he or she became on the backside of the upward push charts until eventually junior severe college. She is now 14, 5'6" tall and weighs a hundred lbs. as long as your toddler is ingesting properly and gaining weight then i do no longer see a difficulty. i do no longer think of 21 pounds is all that small for a 14 month previous toddler. the subsequent time you're taking the toddler to his pediatrician tell him what the traveling nurse has suggested and ask his opinion. i might maximum actual take the information of a doctor over a nurse.

Answer 5

Just nod and agree with her whilst she's there then just forget about everything she's said when you close the door behind her!

I had one who told me my 3 year old son wasn't 'normal' when he didn't hear her talking to him as he was engrossed in playing with his batman figures. I had another tell me not to let dogs in the house as they were unhygenic - coming from a woman who smelt like a mens locker room and had food stains all down her front I felt this was a bit rich!

Your baby is exactyly that - YOUR baby! If you want to breast feed at 10 months that is down to you. If you want him sleeping in your room, that is down to you.

She shouldn't bully you, she should be there to offer advice if you need it. Contact your GP surgery and tell them that you will refuse her access to your home from now on.

By the way, my over imaginative son is now 17 years old and is fine and all 3 of my sons grew up fit and healthy with no allergies despite me having 'unhygenic' dogs in the house!

Answer 6

Say something right back to her like you're telling us now! Someone should stand up to her. Sounds like you all just sit back and take it! Make her feel uncomfortable by some comment you can think of, in a sophisticated way, to really get her attention. Like don't swear or be obnoxious, but be very direct and to the point when you stand up for what you're doing that you know is right. Verify yourself! Perhaps no one ever contradicts her suggestions! Also, if she's too in your face, report her! Go over her head. Maybe the higher ups don't realize her awful manner of communicating with people. There is truly a point where a person is not being helpful if they make you feel shabby, do you know what I mean? Does she have children herself? Could she have personal issues, like being jealous of other women with children or something? I always think when someone is constantly unpleasant or persnickety, that it's a reverse reaction to something within themselves that bothers them somehow! Maybe she hates her job! She should be coming forth with her suggestions and advice in a much more caring, concerned way than she is. Something's amiss with the lady, I'd say, and you're getting the brunt of it! Good luck!

Answer 7

Where on earth do live? Do you have to let this bossy, nosy Health Visitor into your home?

I am so glad I am an American.

By the way, the parenting "advice" she gave you was a matter of opinion. Many doctors say it is best to breast feed for one year or more, and the idea of the family bed has been sited by many mental health professional to be a good idea if all can sleep well.

God bless!

Answer 8

Firstly-you know your baby,not her. You do the right thing for your baby. Secondly-it's my understanding that it should be about a year that the baby should be weaned off the breast. Your baby is devoloping a strong immune system through breast feeding. The fact she's saying you should've stopped by now makes me question her knowledge in her field!
If you're not comfortable with confronting her,I'd go to your GP to discuss this. Her job is too help new mums-not make them question themselves at every turn!

Answer 9

I'd complain about her and it's your house you don't have to have her in tell her that from now on you will go to the clinic to see her if you feel the need to I've never heard of a health visitor coming around so much treat her the way she treats you thats with no tact!!

Answer 10

Is it the law that you have to have a health visitor?

When my mum had me 23 years ago..she had the same trouble and she just told her to *go away and never darken her door again*

Rude woman saying that stuff about your house...How can you be so calm...i'd have shouted at her to get out. You gave birth to your little baby...its nothing to do with her...stand up to her.


Ooooh i hate people like that i'd have gone mad..set the dogs on her!!