How do I handle a neighbor who is showing an unhealthy amount of interest in my boyfriend?

Question

I just moved into a small neighborhood of duplex apartments. A single mom with two children befriended me as we have children the same age. I introduced her to my boyfriend one day while he was visiting. Now, she calls him on his cell phone all the time. He does not answer nor does he return her calls. My boyfriend and I have discussed the situation. He is not interested in pursuing any kind of relationship with her. I believe him. She is severely obese, and I have watched them interact. He doesn't do anything that a female would consider encouragement. Yet, I must live next to this person at least for 11 more months. How do I handle the situation? Should I ignore it, or confront it?

Answer 1

I'll tell you what I would do...next time she calls, YOU call her back and ask if there's something you can help her with. Let her know you were sitting there with him when she called and since he didn't feel comfortable calling her, you thought you'd see what she needed.

That should curb it, hopefully.

Good luck!

Answer 2

The warning signs when you are spending too much time on a certain activity are: Your house is a total mess. The laundry resembles a small mountain. Your husband give you a wink and suggest you do something fun tonight. The two of you spend the evening reading questions and answers in the R&S YA section. :O On a serious note, you know when a fun interest becomes an unhealthy obsession when it affects your life. You become upset with what you read. You argue with your spouse over issues. The best solution I have found is to take a break and limit the time you spend involved with that obsession. Focus on important things you have neglected because of the interest. (((Vixen)))

Answer 3

If she shows a capacity for violence, you might just want to wait it out until your departure for a land with less psyco-activity.

Or, get your boyfriend to nicely approach her the next time he is over. Have him knock on her door unannounced and ask her to talk. Have him kindly present his case stating that you and he are together and while very complimentary, it is simply not possible. If he says to her that he loves you and would never take a chance a damaging that love or that he is taken and nobody could fill his heart with the level of warmth that you do.

Or, set her up with someone. Probably someone that you don't like...or after that they will not like you, from the way this sounds.

Or, tell the truth plainly, coldly and in a way impossible to misunderstand. He is NOT in to you. One of your legs is the size of his waist! ( I know, mean but if you get this far down the list stronger firepower will be needed)

Bottom line. Be careful. Ever seen Misery?

Hope this helps.

Good luck and keep your kids away from her.

Answer 4

this may seem like a cruel idea on the face of it but it works - if you could let her know innocently during a conversation how u n ur bf laugh heartily at such behavior maybe she will take a hint. U dont need to say something specific to her but could just tell a (imaginary) story when some other fat single mother took an interest in ur bf and how u used to really laugh at that kiddish crush of someone who is supposed to be otherwise a sensible person .......maybe she will take a hint n amend her behavior , if not tell her ur bf has asked u to convey a request to her that he doesnt like being disturbed on the phone needlessly. If there's anything imp......afterall u ARE next door n she should contact you. be polite n firm when u say this n dont argue unneccessarily if she tries to also. hope this helps.

Answer 5

If it were me, I would confront this person and tell her like it is together with your boyfriend present and in agreement.. I would then change cell phone numbers and of course not give it out to her.
some people of course don't want to be told like it is, but the truth should set you both free.
too bad moving also isn't a option, maybe she will move on hopefully and let you get on with a normal life. Good Luck

Answer 6

Sounds like she might be a HO looking for her next free ride! You could also block her number. You can call the cell phone carrier and they can do it. Or alltel can anyway. You can also restrict calls on your cell phone it should be in the securty menu. So just people in your phone book can call. Or you might want to answer the phone a couple times and tell her he gave it to you cause he got a new number. Leave a voice mail greeting of your voice.

Answer 7

It is a little suspicious that she has his cell phone number.

But I would ignore it because 11 months is a very short time (now that you have kids, I'm sure you can see how fast time goes by!) And if she's psycho, she might say things to hurt the kids, if you confront her.
.

Answer 8

You have left out a big part of the story - how does your neighbor have your boyfriend's cel phone number? There was obviously some encounter that led both of them to think that they would have future contact.

Answer 9

I would say that your boyfriend should answer or return one of her calls and tell her directly and to the point that he is not interested in having any kind of relationship with her.

Then, next time you talk to her, say "my boyfriend says you have been calling him. whats up with that?"

Answer 10

Just ask her. why are you calling my bf. dont e accusing, just tell her that it bothers you. if she gets upset, oh well.. after youve said your pease, If she still does it ignore her. If your bf doesnt like her then you have nothing to worry about. If on the outher hand, your bf is having relations with her, Its better to find out now instead of after you get too serious. Either way, you come out ahead.