Is it wrong to ask my grandpa a Marine Veteran if he killed people during the Korean War?

Question

My grandpa is a Korean War Veteran he served in the Chosin Resevior during the Korean War he saw and did things he didint like i always ask him questions about the war anything from basic training to when he was fighting in Battlel he was a Runner and a Machine Gunner he was there for a year and i was wondering is it wrong to ask him if he killed the North Chinese Communists he is 78 now he was in the Marines for four and i'll say it again is it wrong to ask my grandpa if he killed people during the Korean War?

Answer 1

I am a US Air Force Veteran of the Vietnam War.

Your curiosity about your Grandfather's service in Korea is a form of respect and honor to his service - if you always remember to approach him with an understanding that what he actually had to do in war may not be good memories for him.

On the question, "did you kill anyone in the war", perhaps you would be more kind to his bad memories if you just assumed, that by virtue of the battles he was in, that it is very likely he did have to kill - and leave it at that.

For most Veterans of war, there is no feeling of pride or duty in knowing or admiting to any one else that we actually had to kill another human being. We tend to speak around such things by stating we served in the war and leaving it at that.

There is no Glory or Honor in killing another human being - even an enemy who might be trying to kill one's self or harm one's homeland. There is only the pain of heart that never really goes away.

To do such a thing, even in the heat of battle, most of us have to overcome our belief in the pricelessness and sanctity of God's gift of life.

Most who have had to kill during war will carry for the rest of their lives a sense of guilt, a sense of having committed murder.

Veterans often refer to their personal "ghosts of war" only when amongst themselves - for only another Veteran of war will understand just how heavy those "ghosts" weigh upon one's soul.

I would suggest that you do not ask your grandfather if he had to kill during the war, rather; ask him if he knows how proud you are of his service to protect our nation and freedoms.

That way, you honor him, and you do not risk bringing to his mind the horrible memories of death at his hands.

Sometimes, love and respect is shown by the questions you do not ask.

Gary

Answer 2

If he was a machine gunner I guarantee he did
but bless him, he is so lucky to have lived though that battle!
Maybe you should read something about the Chosin Reservoir
like "Marine!" about Chesty Puller. so you have some Idea what you are asking
In your question, you don't give an indication of how your grandfather responds when you ask about his military experiences.
It could be done with respect, it sounds like you really love the guy and I'm sure he knows that.
Why don't you ask him if you are old enough to know about some of the details of his experiences. Ask if there is anything he wouldn't want to talk about.
remember the rest of these answerers don't know your granddad
you do
good luck-he's lucky to have such a nice grandson

Answer 3

My father was a WW2 vet and a POW in Germany for seven months. There were some things he'd talk about. There were some things he wouldn't. The circumstances of his capture was all but about 20 in his company were killed by German mortar and machine gun fire in an open field. They had just crossed a river and the rest of the Regiment was on the other side or crossing at the time they were hit. I found others in other companies that saw what happened via the Internet. They said they always felt bad to see them hit so hard and they couldn't help. I found a book written about his POW camp, Stalag IIb which was very large and pretty horrible. It was no Hogan's Heros.

Answer 4

Why do you want to know that information?

Do you get off on morbid questions like that?

The reason why people get offended by that question is that they know that there is no reason for people to know that information aside from satisfying their curiosity.

In civilized society it is wrong to kill people. So if civilized society is the only thing you have ever known and you ask someone who has been to combat if they have ever killed someone you will be judging them for what they had to do based on your civilized standards.

There is nothing civilized about combat, and you will be forced to do uncivilized things to survive.

People who have never been in that situation do not understand that, and they will never understand unless they are put in similar situations.

Plus...based on what your Grand Father did during the Korean war (US Marine in the Chosin Reservoir) I think you already know the answer to your question, it would seem that you just want to hear him say it. He was a US Marine in Korea, and was part of the operations conducted in the Chosin Reservoir, and he was a 0331 machine gunner right? Ok...trust me he killed people, probley a lot of people....happy now??

This all sounds a little sick and demented to me, maybe you should mind your own business. There is no reason for you to ask someone a question like that.

Answer 5

It depends on your grampa. First, soldiers in combat do not always know that they have killed someone. War is generally fought from some distance, in heavy fighting you mostly just keep your head down and throw some rounds downrange. "Killed" would be a bad choice of words to use. Better to ask him if he had been in any firefights. Try to mirror his reaction. If he looks shocked and hurt, try to gracefully back out of the question. If he leans forward and gets thoughtful, be serious and respectful. I'd say don't dig, but you might be safe hinting at the question without asking. You could ask him something ignorant like, "what is combat like?".

Answer 6

I don't think so, as long as you are asking for a genuine reason rather than just being ghoulish - and it doesn't sound like you are.

My grandfather (God rest his soul) was a machine-gunner in the First World War seeing action in some of the nastier battles and I used to ask him all sorts of stuff about his experiences. There were many occasions when he simply refused to speak about it and I learned later that, of course, he had lost a lot of friends and sometimes found it very painful to recall those times when I asked him about it. I was very young at the time and didn't understand.

If your grandfather doesn't want to speak about it, I'm sure he'll let you know.

Answer 7

If he doesn't like you asking questions about his boot camp, or what he did while over there, then don't ask him if he killed anyone. If he did, he is probably not wanting to remember it. He might regret killing others, even in time of war.

If he talks openly about what the war, then ask him, but only if he is willing to talk about it. If he doesn't even want to talk about his basic training time, then he probably won't ever talk about the war time.

You might want to start off by asking him about the Marine Corp. Like, if he was drafted, what basic was like, but leave out anything to do with the war. If he is willing to open up about those things, then go on from there. If he doesn't, then respect his wishes. He may end up telling you all about it, but when he is ready, just don't push it. When you do ask him questions, ask him one or two, and then leave it be. If he wants to give more info, he will.

Answer 8

The taste and fear of death of something the protected will never know. I'm sure he has it was something he had to do in order to stay alive, it was not something he wanted to do. He was walked in the valley of death seen the shadow and still see them in his sleep.
A man that went through WW2 was on the canal and Tarawa. never spoke to me about it until one day I was going into the lodge. He showed up with a pocket full of pictures(they were very nasty) dad seen them and said tidy they did stuff like that over there tidy just look dad in the eyes and told him they sure did and put all of them back in his pocket. and never said another word about it. Now my brother and I are both(or were)Marines as was tidy. He would tell us things that dad could not relate to. Most vets are that way, they will spoke to other vets but not so much to family or outsiders. So please respect his position and tell him from me Thanks for our Freedom because with out him it would be much different today.

Answer 9

Yes, it's wrong. Why do you want him to dig up old buried memories that he does not want to relive. What would you get out of it. If you are truly interested, then start slow. Ask him about Army life in general. Maybe about some of the good times at first. Them maybe about some of the hardware. Ask him how cold it was. Go slow, don't push and stop when he is uncomfortable. Be kind. He deserves it.

Answer 10

Those who been in combat and have killed don't want to talk about it. Nothing is gained by pressing him for details. He has his own memories and demons to deal with. If he wants to talk about it, let him initiate the conversation. Otherwise, respect him for his service to the country and let it go.