I have a friend (he can't decide if he wants to commit) who always has to be right because he is the man. In our life time I have experienced more than he has, I am raising a family (3) children, a home and he has a roomate, and no children. He is a good man but we bump heads all the time.Do I have to be quiet to be happy??
2007-09-24 05:19:09 · 15 answers · asked by Isis 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, I've often been told I'm a decent guy, & I hope that I live up to that label. I also haven't been married yet, & one reason for that is I haven't found a woman who is independent enough for me. I often find the women who get put out if they want to go out & I've already made plans to hang out with the guys, or ones who act like I'm supposed to ask permission when I go on vacation with a friend. I prefer a woman who isn't so fearful that she can't be without me for a little while.
I hate to say it, but it may not be the independence issue that is keeping him from committing. Look how different your lifestyles are: you have 3 children, he has none; you manage a home, he has a roommate. You're in totally different stages of your lives, & it's a lot to expect him to step into all the responsibility you bring to a committed relationship. Subconsciously, I would guess this guy realizes how much his life would change should he settle down with you, & he's sabotaging the relationship without even being aware of it. I would guess he's trying to drive you away with the constant arguing, & doesn't even realize it. Sadly, it may be time to move on, & try to find someone who is more on your life experience level. I am a man who has my own house & has no children, & even I wouldn't be ready to take on all the responsibility that would come with committing to a woman in your situation, because children are an awesome responsibility, & being a stepfather may be one of the hardest things in the world to do well.
2007-09-24 05:47:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a very mature woman with a life. I think you should find someone else that is in the same stage of life as you are. I do not believe you will be happy with this other guy.. He has a roomate and no kids and you have a whole house 3 kids. That scale isn't equal.
2007-09-24 12:26:06 · answer #2 · answered by whiteroses202004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sister, there is no going back. To play stupid, be submissive, hold your tongue will either make you loose your spirit and self respect or you simply won't be able to keep it up for very long at a time and you will still bump heads constantly.
My question is why would any woman want to be with a man who doesn't respect their intelligence, judgment, common sense etc.,
Having a set of testicles doesn't make someone right, smart, worldly etc...,
Either he loves, respects and accepts you as you are or he doesn't. If he doesn't, move on. I'd rather be alone than to live a lie.
2007-09-24 12:24:40 · answer #3 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not if you're as truly wise as Auset/Isis. Being emotionally and/or sexually dependent is a major "mistake".
A "man" who has to always be right has MAJOR issues, absolutely.
If you are a truly wise and strong woman, you will find someone who has dealt with his issues competently. And have the strength and patience to wait until such person comes along. Becoming involved with the dysfunctional is a road to disaster. Good luck :))
2007-09-24 12:28:17 · answer #4 · answered by drakke1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't hang out with someone (boyfriend or not) who had to be right all the time. I had a friend like that and dumped her friendship after years of her conceit.
Now with that being said, a strong woman cannot just settle for anyone. You need to be with a strong man, too but one that respects your opinions and decisions.
2007-09-24 12:24:44 · answer #5 · answered by ga.peach67 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to have a chip on your shoulder regarding your having experienced more than him - is it possible that you are sending vibes that put him off?
The truly great woman have always had ways of having the man believe that her ideas were originally his and that he was therefore right.
don't try so hard to be "liberated and strong" that you give up your feminine advantage.
2007-09-24 12:27:32 · answer #6 · answered by keezy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No.
Marriage is supposed to be a team, a partnership, not an individual union.
A couple should work together to solve or resolve issues.
Hopefully you'll find who works well together with you.
You seem to be a very lovely responsible lady.
2007-09-24 12:22:32 · answer #7 · answered by tiscpa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you should be yourself and if he doesn't get that, then he's no good for you. I consider myself a strong, independent woman, and it takes a certain kind of man to respect that...I was lucky to find that man, who encourages me to go out into the world. You shouldn't have to be quiet just to please him, you'll only end up resenting him and probably end up without him.
2007-09-24 12:24:22 · answer #8 · answered by runda007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you will have to bite your tongue clear in half in order to get along. This kind of man will never ever appreciate what you bring to the relationship. There are men out there who will appreciate you for who you are, but this guy never will. You accept the love you think you deserve. Remind yourself that you deserve better and move on.
2007-09-24 12:23:30 · answer #9 · answered by Kitten Hood 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, find a "man" who has experience with kids too...and loves them just as much..they are out there...(fact!) and it will be "smooth sailing" .. many women aren't patient enough because they have kids..but, i'm here to tell you..they are out there...and they won't "bump heads with you either!" in fact, you will be surprised how much you both will see "eye to eye"..lol ..bye...ps, if he can't decide...it's like fitting the wrong piece of puzzle into the wrong place......OOPS!!!!!
2007-09-24 12:29:41 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. "Diamond" 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋