she has been dead for years but he still hangs on to her....
2007-09-24 04:34:03 · 7 answers · asked by Anne D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
its not that i'm not supportive of him, its just that he can't seem to get past it...he feels responsible for what she did...its apparent to me that her killing herself was the ultimate in selfishness, but he blmaes himself....
2007-09-24 04:46:03 · update #1
I can understand his thought of guilt, and even though we all know when someone takes their own life, it's their ultimate decision, I know as well as you it's not his fault, but convincing him is not going to be easy, he must have cared for her a great deal to still carry that around with him, or he is using it as an excuse not to get close to anyone, it could be he is afraid it will happen again, maybe not to suicide, but just the thought of losing them. If you care about him you will be patient and understand where he is coming from, it's obvious he just isn't ready to let it go, but in time it will get easier for him.
2007-09-24 08:48:24 · answer #1 · answered by robink71668 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! How awful for him.....you need to try to get him to go for some grief counseling, and try to help him understand that it wasn't about him, it was about her....It's one thing when someone is out to destroy themselves, but really a shame when they take someone else along with them.... You should be supportive, but I don't think you should attempt to be more than a friend to this person, or at least not right now, if he is still hanging on to a dead girlfriend, he's not ready for that. If you do have a romantic relationship with this guy, you also need to understand that he had a life before he met you, and even if he does get past his trauma, she will always be a part of him, and a part of his life.....
2007-09-24 08:17:36 · answer #2 · answered by beatlefan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's trying to tell you about his depression? He might not feel you are measuring up to his expectations yet. That may not mean his dead girlfriend was much better. Maybe he's just looking for someone compassionate to his feelings. Are you a person who is not good at expressing yourself? Maybe you are either incompatible together or you need to have patience and discover ways to make him happy. That would be entirely up to you. How attracted to him are you? Does he treat you nice and take you out places? etc. Good luck.
2007-09-24 04:45:17 · answer #3 · answered by Spirit-X 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You respect him and if you can't deal with it, give him some space and time to deal with it. Think about it, here's FINALLY a guy who cares about a woman (although she's dead) but at least he's displaying some emotions and feelings that you're always asking for. Consider yourself lucky that he chose you. Now don't blow it by being insensitive to his needs for once.
2007-09-24 04:38:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree, you can't push him away from that. Sorry, it's not something you can control or have a say in.
Edit- It is NOT your place to say any of this. It is obviously not about you and you cant stand that. Give the guy a break, okay. He dosent need you breathing down his neck about it. Geez
2007-09-24 04:40:45 · answer #5 · answered by lovepink317537 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be understanding but if he's not willing to let her go because she is coming between you two then leave him and let him mourn and call him when he is ready to be with someone.
2007-09-24 04:40:48 · answer #6 · answered by Army Gurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to be as understanding as possible. that is a very tramtic thing for someone to go through. I know it can be frustrating, but be a good friend and try to be understanding
2007-09-24 04:38:42 · answer #7 · answered by PuRpLe HaZe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋