Standing 5' 7" and 125 lbs., a 19-year-old Michelle from Loveland, Colorado. She has been modeling just about a year now, and she's looking to build and expand her portfolio. Michelle started modeling from import car shows. In April 2006, she landed on the cover of Gauge Magazine. This gorgeous babe enjoys covering events from car shows to boxing matches.
2007-09-24 04:22:05 · 9 answers · asked by mbw m 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Languages
I would revise it a little bit -
Michelle is a 19 year old beauty from Loveland, Colorado. She's 5'7" and weighs 125 lbs. She has been modeling for a year and is looking to add to her portfolio. She got her start in modeling by being in import car shows. In April 2006, she graced the cover of Gauge Magazine. Michelle enjoys covering a variety of events from car shows to boxing matches.
2007-09-24 04:34:27 · answer #1 · answered by JeenaBlahBlahBlah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
(indent) Standing 5' 7" and 125 lbs is nineteen year old Michelle from Loveland, Colorado. She has been modeling just about a year now, and is looking to build and expand her portfolio.
(starts new paragraph)
(Indent) Michelle started modeling for imported car shows. In April 2006, she landed on the cover of Gauge Magazine.
(starts new paragraph)
(indent) This gorgeous babe enjoys covering events from car shows to boxing matches.
This is how I'd write the layout although I'd change a lot of words and give more supporting details.
2007-09-24 11:36:57 · answer #2 · answered by Cherry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Height 5'7" and weight 125 lbs., 19 years old Michelle is from Loveland, Chicago. She has been modeling for a year until now, and she's looking to build and expand ......(I don't what do you mean by 'portfolio'). Michelle started modeling in many imported cars exhibitions/shows. On April 2006, she posed as on the cover of Gauge Magazine. This gorgeous babe enjoys modeling for car shows to boxing matches.
I don't know if the grammar is perfect, I'm an Indonesian.
2007-09-24 11:34:18 · answer #3 · answered by AkiraJunto 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Standing 5' 7" and 125 lbs., 19-year-old Michelle is from Loveland, Colorado. Michelle started modeling about a year ago at import car shows and is looking to build and expand her portfolio. In April 2006 she landed on the cover of Gauge Magazine. This gorgeous babe enjoys covering events from car shows to boxing matches.
You may want to add more to it. I think the part about her being on the cover of the magazine should be more prominent, too - if you can add to it and make it the last sentance, that would be better.
Good luck!
2007-09-24 11:30:37 · answer #4 · answered by Becka Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 5' 7" and 125 lbs., 19-year-old Michelle of Loveland, Colorado has been modeling just about a year now and she's looking to build and expand her portfolio. Michelle started modeling at import car shows. In April 2006, she landed on the cover of Gauge Magazine. This gorgeous babe enjoys covering events from car shows to boxing matches.
The last sentence doesn't add much, in terms of content and repetitive. I would change "car shows" to some other type of event.
2007-09-24 11:28:35 · answer #5 · answered by Theresa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Standing 5'7" and weighing 125 lbs., we have 19 year-old Michelle, from Loveland, Colorado. She has been modeling for about a year; and is looking to expand her portfolio. Michelle got her modeling start at import car shows. In April 2006, she was featured on the cover of Gauge Magazine. This gorgeous lady enjoys covering events ranging from car shows to boxing matches.
2007-09-24 11:28:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretty darn close!
Standing 5' 7" and 125 lbs., 19-year-old Michelle is from Loveland, Colorado. She has been modeling for about a year now, and she's looking to build and expand her portfolio. Michelle started modeling at import car shows. In April 2006, she landed on the cover of Gauge Magazine. This gorgeous babe enjoys covering events from car shows to boxing matches.
2007-09-24 11:26:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Sanding 5' 7" and 125 lbs., a 19-year-old Michelle from Loveland, Colorado."
This is a sentence fragment. Where is the verb? You need to say *Michelle is a 19-year-old from Loveland, Colorado, who stands 5'7" and weights 135 lbs.*
The rest of it is trite, but not grammatically wrong.
2007-09-24 11:29:17 · answer #8 · answered by Acorn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change it to...Michelle started her modeling career in the import car show circuit.
2007-09-24 11:29:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋