Partner Adopting His Step-Daughter?

Question

Just looking for some advice on my Partner adopting my daughter.
Been with current partner 4 years.
Have child together, thats on it way due March.
Daughters father has no contact, his decision i have never stopped him. No one in his side of the family, not even grandparents have contact, they cant be bothered as only live 20mins drive away.
He does not help out financially as myself and current partner both work so we do not need his help.
Daughters father already has own children with current partner, for which my daughter has never meet her sisters, nor mentions or asks about them.
My daughter does have ex partners surname.
When my ex partner and myself had our daughter we were not married but his name is on the birth certificate.
Can my current partner adopt my daughter?
Do i have to tell my ex partner?
Can i change my daughters surname once adopted?
Do i have to tell my ex partner i am changing my daugthers surname?
Sorry for going on.
Can anyone help????

Can i just ask my ex partners parental rights?
Am i right in think he has some even though our daughter was concived and born without us being married?
I though the only parent in that situation is the mother?

Can i also state i live in England and my daughter is the age of seven becoming eight.

Answer 1

I was in exactly the same situation with my 4 year old.

I wasn't married to her father and she never saw him at all.

The social worker said that out of politeness I could let my ex partner know but he had no parental rights with my daughter.

I did it so that there would be no comeback years later, that he couldn't accuse me of doing the adoption behind his back.

I would say that the only drawback there, but I was lucky, would be if seeing the request for adoption suddenly jolts him into some kind of responsibility for his daughter.

You do not need him to sign anything, as you are your daughters main carer, you assume full parental responsibility and even though his name is on the birth certificate (as his was on my daughters), they have no rights.

I agree that it is a backward way of doing things and you may wish to do this without him knowing, but I fully believe that if nothing is hidden, then no-one can fall out with you about it.

He does not have to be there at the court, you dont have to see him, someone will write him a letter only, and he is not allowed to contest it. It is just a letter to let him know what is going on.

If you have agreed parental rights with your ex partner then that is a different kettle of fish. He will have rights.

I was lucky and my ex never saw her from her being about 1 yr old. Therefore I could explain to the court that he was no longer in her life.

I have found a website which is gov based so this should explain the ways to do this.

Hope this helps x

Oh, I forgot to say, they also class you as an adoptive parent, this is a bit wierd at first but you have to do the adoption together. You never use that again during the child's life as you ARE the childs mother but for the court process you are the adopter...its v strange!!!

Answer 2

You do have to tell your ex partner your plans. He has to forfeit parental rights and okay adoption. Forget that you and he were not married....doesn't matter. Forget that he has had no contact with your daughter.....doesn't matter. Forget that he does not pay child support....doesn't matter. If he objects, you are going to have a long, hard fight on your hands for your present partner to adopt her. And don't forget, you and your present partner are not married, either. Ever thought about why would the court let a non-related male, unmarried to the child's mother adopt said child? Well, think about it. You will need an attorney, of course. If all goes well, and the adoption goes through, you will take care of changing the child's last name through the court....just a lot of paperwork and filing. That is one thing you should not have to worry about telling your ex partner....even he should know that, with adoption, the last name is changed. Of course, after adoption, all responsibilities concerning the child become yours and your partner's, and child support, should you two break up, becomes his responsibility. You can't go back after your ex partner for anything because your daughter is now the child of your present partner.

Edit: The fact that you added that you live in England makes a huge difference. Living in the USA, I have no idea what the laws governing adoption are in England.

Answer 3

Not sure about England but in the US here is how the process goes. First you meet with a lawyer if you want your current partner to adopt your daughter. You can either have the father sign over parental rights to your daughter or put the information in the paper for 3 weeks. If the father doesn't come forward or if he signs the papers, your lawyer will send the information to court for a judge to look over all paper work. If the father objects you have to go back to court and have a hearing. I know it is a long process but 3k and 1 1/2 yrs of this process my step daughter is legally my little girl. Good luck

Answer 4

You need a lawyer for this they will know if there are abandonment laws where you are, sometimes if the acknowledged parent has purposefully not had any contact with the child in any way for X amount of time..It is considered abandonment and his/her right can be terminated without their permission. But again that depends on the laws where you are at. If there are no such laws he doe shave to be notified and given the chance to pay back child support and become involved or give up their rights, sometimes the thought of back child support is enough to have them sign on the dotted line. If his rights are terminated, given up whatever and your partner adopts than yes her name will be changed and a new birth cirtificate issued with her new name on it and then you just need to change any existing papers...healthcare, school, passport ect.. good Luck

Get a Lawyer!

Answer 5

It used to be that the Father had to be notified, and his consent obtained, (My father refused) but a quick call to Citizens Advice or the Solicitor handling the Adoption should clarify whether this is still the case. If you weren't married and he has no contact or financial commitment then I doubt he'd have grounds to refuse and I think you can change her surname by deed poll without his permission.
As you will need to see a Solicitor to arrange for the adoption then I'm sure they will give you all the relevant facts.
If it makes you feel easier in your mind I'd just like to say, My Father was always legally my Father, but my Dad and the one I loved was my Step-Dad! We couldn't have his name till we were 16 and old enough to change it ourselves but we all married and got rid of Fathers name anyway! My 2 sisters felt the same as I did.

Answer 6

Your current partner should be able to adopt your daughter. My step-father adopted me when I was 16. You DO have to tell your ex, since his name is on the birth certificate he will have to sign something that gives your partner permission to adopt. You can change your daughters surname and once she is adopted your current partners name will be the name that shows on the birth certificate (you will get a new one) You dont have to tell your ex about the name change. This may vary a little depending on where you live I lived in KY when I was adopted but it should be pretty close. Good luck!!

Answer 7

Legally speaking I believe your partner can adopt your daughter, with or without changing her name afterwards. Morally speaking I would make sure your daughter is in agreement with the idea if she is old enough to understand, or wait until she is older. And I wouldn't put the same argument above to her (your 'real' dad doesn't care about you anyway.) You never know, her father or paternal grandparents might have a change of heart one day - don't do anything to exclude that possibility.)
Back to legally - I would consult a family lawyer to find out all the implications that this might have on your daughter's inheritance/benefits entitlement, not to mention those named in your will as her guardian in case of your death. It could be a complex situation not to be undertaken lightly.

Answer 8

You will have to have your ex partner's parental rights terminated before you can do the adoption, so yes, you have to tell him.

Also consider that the new partner becomes liable for child support if the relationship dissolves, just as a biological parent would.

You can use the new surname anytime you want without going through legal adoption.
But yes, you can also get her name changed.

Trying to get child support sometimes helps a parent such as your ex decide that it's better to give up parental rights.

But not always.

But I would suggest that if they balk at the removal of parental rights, definitely get child support going.

Answer 9

not sure on all the laws in England, but here in the states, I am not sure of all the states though, you and partner must be married for him to adopt your child. And yes, you do need ex's permission unless you prove no contact. Once your partner adopts then yoyu can change the birth certificate to whatever you want.

Answer 10

i am going though it at the moment my husband of 4 years is adopting my daughter of the age of 6. first u have to write to social services and then a worker will come and talk to u and explain it all. then your partner will have a interview with the worker answering loads of question going back to child hood then Ur turn then they have to talk to ur child about it to see how they feel. yes they will have to ask the fathers consent even if hes not in there lives they have to by law. then it goes to court witch cost £140 if all this goes on then ur daughter can take ur partners name. in my case father not on birth certificate so she took partners name it just not on her passport yet hope this helps