How do you overcome jealousy?

Question

I'm a very jealous person when it comes to my fiance. It hurts me because he was the first guy I ever had any sexual experiences with, yet he's had many before me. When he tells me of his ex's I get very jealous because they all had perfect bodies. I am 19 years old, 110 lbs, and I have A cup boobs. His ex's were beautiful with C cup boobs. It just makes me feel so ugly compared to them and I get uncomfortable in bed with him. I always think that he compares my ugly body to their beautiful bodies. It's to the point now where I started taking breast enlargement pills and became very depressed.

I just wish I could overcome this jealousy, because it's tearing me apart and making me hate myself.

This one time when he was with his guy friend, he mentioned that his ex had "GOOD BOOBS." I was sitting right next to him when he said this and it crushed me.

He never told me I had "good boobs."

Answer 1

Gurl! IM sure your beautiful!! Its just that you keep comparing yourself to girls that probably look nothing like you. Yes they may be beautiful as well, but what makes them better than you? NOTHING. Your special too girl and There is no such thing as a perfect body.you fele jealous because he is the first guy you shared yourself with, its normal. get that confidence level up and you obiously have more class than those other girls with him did, because look who ended up with im? I am here 4 u friend =)

Answer 2

First of all, be proud of yourself that you admit to having this problem. I was with an extremely jealous woman a few years ago, and I came to realize how damaging the emotion can be to a relationship between two people who love each other. It ruined our relationship and we are not together today, which is a shame because we had so much between us. She simply was not willing to do the work to get past her feelings.

Your jealousy stems from, as you know, feeling inferior to your fiance's past partners. Our society dictates beauty, and if you don't fit in that look, then you are considered less beautiful. This is unfortunate.

You fiance is obviously not with his ex. They may have been nice looking, but there were obviously reasons he is not with them anymore. He is with you and since you are engaged he must see his future with you. Based on his track record with women it sounds like getting a partner is not a difficulty for him. So feel happy that he is with you, and I am sure he feels lucky to have you.

Jealousy is a powerful emotion. Sometimes the only way to solve an emotional problem is to use logical reasoning. If you pour emotion into solving this problem it will only make it work, as you are distressed enough by the feelings. The more you think emotionally about the problem, the worse it will get. It is kind of like trying to put a fire out with gasoline - it simply will not work.

Write a list of concrete reasons why he is with you (e.g. "He is with me because he thinks I am very intelligent" or "he is with me because I support his dreams" or whatever). Keep the list with you. Everytime you feel the jealousy start to surge, pull out your list and read it. It will reassure your feelings of doubt and insecurity.

Jealousy is powerful, but it is also preventable once you understand the reality of the situation.

Answer 3

You have nothing to be jealous of - he's not with those girls anymore, he's with you. So they had bigger boobs than you; so what? He's not with them, so maybe he didn't like them. Just because society says a woman has a perfect body doesn't mean it's perfect to the guy. Everybody is different. Now if he's going around telling you that your boobs are too small and his exes had a great rack, he's a jerk.

You should talk to him about it. If you're going to get married, you need to be able to communicate. Tell him you're ashamed of your body. If he's any sort of decent guy, he'll let you know that you're the one he wants.

Answer 4

What you need to remember is his exes are exes for a reason. He's with you. He chooses to be with you. Obviously, he feels he has something special with you as he's engaged to be married to you. Also, in my experience, men don't compare women in that manner. We're the ones who do the comparing.

Answer 5

you need to talk to your partner about how this is making you feel. I agree that this is a trust thing between you two. he needs to hear how talking about his past is not helping your future as a couple. if that cant be respected by him, you need to then respect yourself and your values and you need to ask yourself if this realationship fits in with the answers you come up with. marriage is forever. this realationship needs to be upto enduring the test of time. a lifetime. look after yourself, best wishes.

Answer 6

Its trust. Its not about your body. If he wasnt satisfied with you or your body why would he still be with you ? correct ? If you have low self confidence think about getting implants to improve it cause breast enlargement pills are phony.

Answer 7

i think he's no good for you...
you too is not good for him...
what goes around comes around girl...
be wise!