I am from Italy and my girlfriend is american. We've been dating for 3 months and she asked me an expensive engagement ring(around 3500 dollars). In Italy people tell me that it is crazy...do you think this is acceptable in the american culture?
P.S.: She is not giving me an engagement present back because she is short of money....
2007-09-24 03:17:24 · 48 answers · asked by merculinus 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If you have only been dating someone for 3 months, I URGE you to stop considering marriage at this time. You barely know each other.
As for the engagement ring. You give a ring as a promise of your intent to marry her. She accepts the ring as a promise of her intent to marry you. She does NOT get to tell you how expensive a ring she wants.
2007-09-24 03:20:58 · answer #1 · answered by kja63 7 · 12⤊ 2⤋
Are you guys in a long distance relationship? If the answer is yes she may be scamming you for the money. If the answer is no and she truly loves you and not the money she should be happy to receive whatever you give her.
The ring is a symbol of your intent to marry her. It should be whatever you want to give her. If you have a lot of money and you decide to marry her get a lawyer and have her sign a
prenuptial agreement. If she flips out over a pre-nup and you getting a ring of your choice. Then you know she is only using you for the money.
It is not unheard of to get married after knowing someone for a few months. In this case though you may want to get to know her better. What if you did a promise ring? A promise ring is for promise of an eventual engagement ring. This may be a good way to test the waters. If she sticks around longer then maybe you can go and get a $3500 ring.
Good luck and I hope everything works out.
2007-09-24 05:26:29 · answer #2 · answered by bronzeartist00 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm an American woman and if I had a guy from Italy the last thing I would worry about is an expensive ring! Italian men are hot and that should be enough as it is!!!! 3 months and already asking something like that is a no no no matter how she rationalizes this. She sounds like a golddigger and if I was you I would carefully think about the ring. I know you love her or you wouldn't have asked her to marry you but relationship are a two way street not just a one way. She has to be crazy and all American women are not like that! I would just buy her a promise ring this early in the relationship and see what happens.
2007-09-24 03:24:03 · answer #3 · answered by Luv2no is in the house 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
She's a gold digger. Lose her. Anyone who judges the value of their fiance based on how much money he's willing to thow away on a little shiny rock that is dug from the ground is an idiot (sorry, had to say it). You deserve better than someone who expects diamonds as a token of affection. If she really loved you she'd marry you without a ring at all. Her "love" is conditional, it needs to be paid for. Watch how fast she drops you when you tell her you're not spending more than $1000 on a ring. She'll be gone before the jeweler can open the case.
2007-09-27 17:14:40 · answer #4 · answered by poisonous_tree_frog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your biggest issue is that you are about to get engaged to someone you've only known 3 months. I strongly encourage you to wait until you've been dating at least a year. You need at LEAST that time to really get to know each other and to work out any issues.
I don't think that liking a $3500 engagement ring automatically makes one a golddigger. It's probably mid-range in price as far as enagementment rings go. But if that's not something you can comfortably afford, it's too expensive.
I'm concerned you say she is short of money. Is she chronically short of money? Does she earn enough to support herself? Does she save money? Does she have a retirement plan? Is she very spendy? If she does not handle money well, that should be a big red flag, and make you think twice about marrying her. It's important to marry someone who maturely handles money.
2007-09-24 04:18:06 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In America, the rule of thumb is 2 months salary for an engagement ring.
If you do not get married and it was her "fault" (she backed out or was unfaithful) the ring returns to you. If you called off the marriage, she retains the ring.
However, I have never heard of what is apparently a custom of your country, an engagement present. Since she cannot give you a gift, and it is indeed a custom, you have room to "negotiate" with her. I'd use it to my advantage if money is a factor in buying the engagement ring.
If she persists, realize you are marrying a spoiled brat and life with her will forever be a monetary challenge where you will be forced to keep up. Not the best circumstances for marriage.
Good luck.
Peace.
2007-09-24 03:26:54 · answer #6 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she is very materialistic it shouldnt matter how much it costs but for what reason she has been given it. She shouldn't ASK for a engagement ring anyway but wait till she is asked. If this is what she is like with a ring think about the wedding think she will want the most expensive wedding going. Is this the sort of person you want to spend the rest of your life with, someone who is only concerned about how much something cost & not the sentimental side of the gift???
2007-09-24 05:00:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In America the man buys the woman the engagement ring, he normally doesn't get a ring back from the woman. But a good rule of thumb for buying an engagement ring is about two months salary. What you make in two months worth of pay should be your budget price for the ring you purchase. If you can't afford the ring that she wants, then you need to talk to her and let her know. Then the two of you can choose something within your price range. After all, an engagement is about love, not the price or the size of the ring. I hope that helped you and the best of luck to you !!
2007-09-24 03:32:09 · answer #8 · answered by master_escrimador 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Wait, I don't think I'm understanding this correctly. She actually told you she wants a $3500 engagement ring?!? What a spolied rotten little brat! Run, run, run as fast as you can! No woman should "tell" her man what ring she wants. The man should get her something he thinks she'll love and be honored to wear for the rest of her life, and she should appreciate that gift. Cost and size should NOT matter! Unfortunately, we do have more spoiled little "daddy's girls" in America than in the rest of the world, but please don't assume that we're all like this. Most of us ladies APPRECIATE the fact that we've found a man who wants to spend the rest of his life with us without worrying about how much something as important as an engagement ring costs.
2007-09-24 03:27:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is not reasonable to ask for an expensive engagement ring. It is considered rude in the U.S. also.
Also $3500 while not inexpensive is not too much above the average cost of an engagement ring in the US. I have read it is about $2500-$3000.
2007-09-25 01:42:49 · answer #10 · answered by no_frills 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you've only been dating 3 months? Secondly, for some reason, $3500 doesn't really sound like all that much to me, but at the same time - I can definitely see your point. If she's dictating how much you should be spending on her ring, she's way too concerned about money and apparently may not love you for you.
2007-09-24 03:38:02 · answer #11 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋