My 17 month old daughter slaps me in the face.?

Question

I am concerned because my 17 month old daughter slaps me in the face when she doesn't get her way sometimes. I firmly say "No hitting! Do nice to mommy. You don't hit mommy." I am jusr wondering if this is cause for concern, or this is normal "testing" behavior of 17 month old children. At first, when she was younger I was not concerned..but 17 months scares me.

Answer 1

This is a seriously BAD behavior for a 17month old child. I could get biting, but this is ridiculous. She needs a time out. When I say time out, I mean, nothing in her room at all except her bed, and blanket and pillow. and she can stay there until she's bloody well ready to apologize.

I wonder if she knows what it feels like when you slap someone? My mum used to get us to bite each other back if any of us bit... maybe if she knew it hurt, she would do it less?

Answer 2

She may be testing her limits, but at 17 months old she knows better. My 18 month old tried that with me and he got a pop on the butt and a time out after I had already told him the first time "don't hit". She may know you are telling her "no", but since that isn't working take a hint and actually punish her. I'm sorry, but just telling her "no hitting" and leaving it at that tells her that's all you will do when she slaps you and she will continue to do it. Basically she knows there is no real consequence to her hitting you. She's 17 months old! It's not like she doesn't know what is wrong to a point. You don't have to spank but honestly if it were my child I would. There's no excuse for her slapping you even if she is testing her limits.

Answer 3

This is not out of the ordinary. You're right it is normal testing behavior. Also at this age they like to see a reaction to their action. I've also seen this a lot at work (I own a daycare) kids are overwhelmed emotionally that their mom and dad are there and don't know how to handle their emotions.

From personal experience, when my son slapped me, I would grab his hand, look him in the eyes and say "NO" firmly. Then I would put him down and walk away. Long explanations about why they shouldn't do this usually fly right over their heads. Walking away removes yourself and doesn't give them they reaction they are looking for.

good luck

Answer 4

yes thats not good!
even though she is less than 2 years old, you need to act fast to change the behaviour now before its too late.
they say a child less than 5 years old is a clay in your hands, you can mould it and shape it as you like.. but once the kid is older they become a solid thing, if you try to change it you just break it..

in child's psychology a behaviour requires one of 2 things: rewarding or punnishing. when your kid is a little baby who doesnt understand language if he or she does something which is accepted and good you smile at it. that is a reward and he would want to continue that behaviour and repeat it. but if he or she does something bad you should make an angry face that expresses "bad baby" and tells it not to repeat that behaviour.

a kid under 5 years of age constantly looks for parents approval.. where he or she gets disapproval the kid avoids that behaviour. you need to make it clear to the kid that this is not right. you can start slow. DO NOT IGNORE this behaviour it might give the indication that its ok. you first tell her like you are doing .. Don't do this. NO hitting! stuff like that, if she still continues then you should add some action to it. maybe take her hand and slightly hit on it.. no hitting mama. or punnish her in a way that will tell her if you do this again you will be punnished.
that is supposed to be an ideal way of changing behaviour.. make sure no one around you smiles or laughs when she does this. sometimes the father, sibblings or grand parents laugh or smaile at kids wrong behaviour and the kid finds it ammusing and repeats the behaviour to be liked by other members of the family. if everbody around you disapproves and shows anger the kid will try not to repeat the behaviour.

please visit the source website for more detailed information.

i hope it helps you.. training a kid is hard and sometimes very confusing.. but its the most important thing a parent can give!

Good luck!

Answer 5

All children do this at times. I have 3 and everyone has gone through this. You are doing the right thing. Teaching that it hurts mommy and we don't hit is the best thing to do. I would also look at the time when the hitting happens, Is she tired ,hungry or just not getting her way. As a mother of 3 my best words are to say- we don't hit that hurts, we give loves. then a big hug. It has worked for myself. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 6

My boys will sometimes hit me when they are frustrated because I have told them "no" or when I ask them to do something they don't want to do. What you need to remember is that toddlers are a bundle of emotions and feelings and they react without thinking of the consequences. When they hit it probably isn't to hurt - more to show their displeasure and to get your attention. And of course when you react they get the desired reaction. As hard as it is you should try and limit your reaction and say "don't hit mummy" then put her in time out in an emotionless way.

Here is a great link that deals with tantrums but also discusses how to deal with hitting...
http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/tantrums.html

And here is a link that discusses disciplining a child after bad behaviour...
http://www.babycenter.com.au/toddler/development/socialemotional/stopkickingbitingexpert/

I hope this helps,
mum2MH

Answer 7

She's seen it somewhere... any hitting around in your house?

As for punishment: There is nothing any person understands as well as being abandoned.

She slaps you... mother walks out for five minutes, or puts her on a naughty-step for two minutes.
Being deprived of your love and devotion will quickly teach her that slapping does not gain her anything; she only looses out.

Answer 8

Its pretty normal, she's just testing her limits. You're doing the right thing.

If you can do something to shock her a little, to startle her, when you say no hitting mommy it helps all the more. Something like picking her up and bringing her up to your level quickly, or a quick loud clap.

But what you're doing it right.

Answer 9

Never let a child get away with ANYTHING you won't allow when they get older. Otherwise they think it's okay. Keep telling her no, and put her on time out if you need to. I just set my son down and walk away if he does something I don't like - the seperation bothers him, so he's less inclined to do it.

Answer 10

Chill my son is coming 3 yrs old and we 'fight' at times. Boys are usually more rebellious and rugged so i guess when my son gets hurt its ok cos one day he will carry the rifle. As for girls they are the gentle and demure sort. I think you should discipline her now or else when she gets older, i don't know what will become of her

Cheers

Edwin Tan
Marketing Director
http://www.newbiesnoideaclub.com