My dear brothers and sisters in Christ, can you lend me an ear?

Question

Brothers and sisters,
I feel deeply hurt and I really do not know what to do. Something is really troubling me. I have a friend who I have known for three years. Over the past year, we have really grown closer and shared our lives and our ups and downs with each other. She is a Christian and we have read the bible together and have prayed together. We spent the night at the others house when we were having marital problems. About a week ago, she started to treat me differently. She started to say little things to me, to just "cut me down." Do you know what I mean? It really hurt my feelings. I really felt like she just did not like me anymore. And then yesterday I saw her and she was having some problems and I put my arm around her and said "Everything ok my friend?" And she said in a real nasty voice "I'm not about to talk to you, Cat." I walked away in utter disbelief and I went home and cried. I really do not understand how someone can like you one day and not

like you the next. I have racked my brain trying to think if I did something to hurt her. And I called her last night and asked her straight out" did I do something or say something to offend you?" And she said no and then she hung up on me. I don't get it. I am in constant prayer about this and I do feel better. I just would like to understand what happened. I know you don't know but I just needed to get this off my chest. Please pray for both myself and her. I love you all, Cat

Answer 1

of course i will pray for ya!

thats odd about your friend....there is obviously something that is bothering her.. she should be adult about it and tell you what it is....maybe she thinks you did something you didnt do... ya know what i mean?? like, maybe she heard something that wasnt true?

Answer 2

It sounds like she thinks you betrayed her in some way. It could be something that happened that she blew out of proportion, or it could be hearsay about you that's simply untrue. Or maybe you did talk about her to someone else, and it got back to her. It's hard to say.

I'm not a believer, but I frequent these boards, and I'll go out of my way to be nice to anyone who seems sincere and is looking for help. My advice would be to maybe send her a letter or an e-mail and ask whether you've done something to offend her. That might be the best place to start. She may not want to talk about it ... in which case, there's not a whole lot you can do until she does want to talk.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Love your enemies,bless them that curse you,do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that despitefully use you,and persecute you, some people pretend to be your friends and they actually are not,be careful who you pick for your friends and prayer partners,just pray and ask God to reveal to you what her true motives are,and if she is dealing with some issues that she does not want to talk about right now leave her be and just pray for her,just like you said in another question people are in your life permently or just for a season,do not feel bad the issue is with her you did not do anything wrong.Some people God will move out of your life and put people that will help you go forward,Be blessed my sister and stay strong Lisa

Answer 4

I would be worried for her if I were you. Generally when people are hurt they turn to their friends and family.

Is it just you she is pushing away or everyone close to her?

She may be pushing everyone away, if so, then she may be dealing with a hurt that she is either ashamed of, or has no idea how to handle.

If she is just pushing you away, just pray and ask God to show you if you have doen anything wrong. If you have your role is to apologize and then God places the responsibility on her.

If you did nothing wrong, and God doesn't show you anything, then just pray for her but give her space as well. Her taking an internalized struggle she can't deal with is likely to displace into a distracting battle that she can.

Answer 5

I can only offer prayer as advice. Pray for enlightenment into the situation. Maybe her marital problems are bleeding over into her life. Maybe her husband compared the two of you and she is mad at him, but is taking it out on you. If you think that you might have unknowingly did something, go and ask for forgiveness. Maybe after time she will open up and restore the friendship.

Answer 6

People change. What probably happened is that she is looking for someone to cast blame on for marital problems. You failed to mention, are you a Christian? Is her husband a Christian? I say these to try and shed some light on the situation.

She may have her "well poisoned" by false teaching or husband's negative influence to break up the friendship. It is threatening to him because she has a place to go when he cannot get his way. (Generally, marital spats are dealing in selfishness of an individual... We're doing it this way because it's what I desire to do.)

From only what I've read, it would appear someone of influence in her life has desired to break up the friendship.

You generally don't turn on your friends like that without some form of outside influence.

Answer 7

Your friend is having a crisis in faith and she may be on drugs or just pissed at you for the way you counselled her or maybe she has come to feel unworthy because she has been treated poorly before this time, or maybe her husband had told her to get rid of your presence. Could be anything.

If you are preaching fundamentalist traditionalism, eternal damnation worship, you are going to have problems whereever you go today from actual conversations, because eternal damnation is totally illogical and only seems to work with people who cannot think or speak back to you. One on one, truth on truth, eternal damnation is a lie. So if you have been preaching this or she has, you will not get along in the long term.

I would search for a religious belief system that brings healing

Healing be unto you and yours and me and mine

Answer 8

Even when one is close in Christ, we can never really know what goes through one's head. Try not to take it personally, as I am sure it is nothing you did. She also stated, although in a unfortunate fashion, that you did nothing wrong. As human beings, it is often in life that we try to take up our crosses alone. As the weight of our world grows heavier and heavier, and we try to lift it alone, we can become crushed under the negativity and despair that our personal crosses bring. My belief is that there is something troubling her, or going on in her life. Something she is trying to fight on her own. Unfortunately, many times when the darkness consumes us, it blinds us to the light of the angels in our lives and the light of God still burning as well. Prayer is the best thing for your friend now. When we have the spirit with us, we always want to forge ahead and help others as much as possible. The best thing in her spot now, is to maybe step back, pray for her, and be there when she needs her friend. We all fall from time to time...it's nice to have our friends there to pick us up when we reach out.

Answer 9

Unfortunately, your friend is not ready to deal with whatever her problem is with you. There is simply no way to figure it out from what you've told us, and it really doesn't matter anyway. All you can do is keep praying and let her know that you will be there when she is ready to talk. But understand that that might be a long time coming.

Answer 10

I am sorry that this is going on. I know it must hurt you deeply. She is not acting very Christian at all..If there is a problem she needs to open up about it.
Just keep praying about it..pray for her..Maybe there is something going on in her life that has her troubled. Maybe she is bi-polar? That seems to be going around these days.
I don't know..just hang in there..It could be satan working..trying to make you give up your faith due to her.

Answer 11

I will pray right now for both of you. Your friend sounds childish. Maybe it's best to keep your distance until she grows up a little more. When someone shows anger like she has, yet refuses to tell you why she is angry is just wanting to act like a child instead of talking things out like an adult.