What's the point of having kids?

Question

If they grow up to be cruel,mean,unjust or simply unhappy?Or they end up hating their parents.It seems there's nothing you can do.Really,what's the point?

Answer 1

There are no promises in life. What you described could happen. Or they could be the person that changes the world.

Going by your thinking you should never cross the street because someone may hit you or yell at you. You should never go on a date because they might break up with you one day. Don't eat because it might make you sick.

There are no promises in life. That doesn't mean you shouldn't live it.

Answer 2

Then you have to look back at the parents & wonder what they did to their children to make them that way. Were they cruel parents, did they not spend time with their children, were the parents to self centered that they put their children last in their lives, did they always leave thier kids with babysitters.
You have to spend time with your children, you have to want them in the first place, you just don't have kids because you can or your just to stupid to use birth control.
Children are the most precise gift that you can be given, & they really are a blessing even though they can get on your nerves, break things, fight with each other or other kids. They break your rules you give them, but that is all a part of growing up & becoming independent individuals.
I have 2 sons that are now 22 & 20 & I am VERY sure there were times that they just hated me & yes they even told me that, but it was after they had gotten into trouble & had to face the consquences of their behavior(s).
Both my sons tell their father & I that they love us all the time, even in front of their friends, & in front of our friends. My husband & I always tell our sons we love them when they leave the house or we talk to them on the phone.
Our friends can not believe that our sons will tell us they love us in front of other people. But it is because we have always kept an open honest relationship with our kids & always tell them that they can come to us for anything no matter what. There is nothing we will not discuss with our kids, NOTHING.....
Now I never had a great rerlationship with my parents & my mother even told me when I was 15 that when she was pregnant with me that she hated me & didn't want me. Now I can say that is a hell of a blow to a 15 yr. old but it also made me understand why we were never close. And I sore that that would never happen with my children, I wanted both my kids, l love them with all my heart & would do anything for them.
So I guess that leaves those parents that just are either absentee parents or they just are to busy with their own lives to really be there for their kids & give them the love & attention they want & need. Those are more then likely the unhappy, cruel, mean children of the world.
Of course there is always the children that have some type of mental disability & that is a whole nother thing all together.

Answer 3

There is no possible way to really explain this. How would you define love to someone who's never loved so that the person would know exactly what it's like? How would you define what it's like to jump out of an airplane so that people who have never done it can feel like they have?

I have a neighbor who is pregnant with her first baby and in her first weeks she was complaining that no one ever told her how sick she would be. I had to laugh at this because morning sickness is one of the oldest jokes in the world. People have made fun of it in literature, radio, TV, comedy clubs (and around the camp fire in the stone age too I'm sure!), described it in detail in parenting books etc., and still my neighbor didn't have even the tiniest grasp on what it would be like.

It's the same with parenting, all aspects, including the why's of it. You can't possibly know until your in the club. It doesn't matter how many nieces and nephews you have, how many kids you've taught, how many of your friends have kids etc.

And if you are a parent and you are feeling unsuccessful, there are so many resources out there, so much support, so many things you can do to proactively change the direction your family is moving in. Again, you need to join the club to know what it's like. The club of motivated, active parents that never give up.

Answer 4

Life is tough, no two ways about it. The purpose, though, is that we parents continue to model how to keep our wits about us and our heads above water.
I often recall the quips my dad used to say to me while I was a young adult:
"Kids - when they're little they step on your toes, when they grow up they step on your heart" (uh...thanks, pop)
"Yeah, ya' need to rock 'em to sleep...but use real rocks"
"Those aren't little angels...they're little demons"

Always joking about life's serious concerns, my dad took it all in stride. Things will be harder for each successive generation, we must give beyond what we think we can to offer our kids a firm foundation from which to springboard off into adulthood.
I used to think, "gosh, you wait forever for them to say their first word, then teach them to talk, then they go spend their time learning how to argue..." I know now it's all about perspective, and that no matter what I still have the upper hand of maturity and endurance. I'll always have an answer or choices of solutions for the various situations that come up. And, when the "mud" hits the fan, here is where they come for direction, protection and comfort. As it should be.

Let us 'gird our loins' and get back into the game. Let us consider that as we are special, so are our kids, and with effort they'll reach their wonderful potential and do good things for themselves and their loved ones. Years after they leave home they'll be practicing the habits and notions we modeled for them. Keep up the good work, don't throw in the towel.

Answer 5

It sounds like you have teenagers. :)

Not all kids grow up that way and most teens grow out of it by their early twenties. Being a parent can seem thankless at times, and it's not for everyone (there are too many people in the world anyway) BUT there are moments that are so rewarding and there's nothing else that can even compare to those moments. I can't even explain them, but children can be amazing.

Parenting is a life-altering event no matter how you look at it. :)

Good luck! :)

Answer 6

Children learn from their parents to be cruel/mean/unjust/unhappy. It's not like they're born that way. Children also learn to hate their parents. You can blame the parents on this one also.

There probably isn't a "point" to having kids, just like there isn't a point to falling in love or having fun or enjoying a good movie. It's an experience you might choose for yourself, and the point is the experience itself. A lot of people enjoy their children and their children love them very much. They need to enjoy them, or it wouldn't be worth the expense and inconvenience!

Answer 7

well...i have been a few days ago in a meeting and we were discussing about the relationship between children and their parents...after many hours of talking we understand how lucky are the group of people called "parents"!!!Firstly they have the ability to spare time with their half self, their children..they can be teachers without having a diploma...and they can love..give their love...share it....and in this occasion is always given back!So parents can see themselves in their children and they have to teach them how to behave and not to make the same mistakes as them.In addition,parents are considered to be the happiest people in the world!!!Of course...its very difficult to do all these...so being a parent is one of the most difficult things to do....many responsibilities...So for me being a parent is the best thing ever..is something that godd offers you...and you have to appreciated.If you really love your kids try to be a good parent...and by this way you would be a good teacher to them...Thus their whole life...and your of course will change..and you will realize how lucky you are having kids...look the situation in the positive way od thinking....

Answer 8

It's all in the parenting. Love them, teach them, and always be there for them. Families who play together, stay together. Kids these days are not taught good morals, parents need to be more involved.
The reward of having children is unlike any, and that is the point.

Answer 9

No its not that, it depends on the indiviual what kind of married life u r prevailing with.... if your married life is fine... then u can give best to your children both education and good character...they turn out to be responsible...but if u r in bad marriage then u might not think about having children

Answer 10

Are you for real.If a child is brought up in a well rounded and loving family They will make out just fine.I have three adult boys.Two are doing great and the last has never matured.If you feel this way then please do not brings any of your offspring into this world.