This girl at school in my class.. she's really horrible to me.. mixed personalities..?

Question

I'll say she's called Rai (she's not, but im not using real names on here.)
so, Rai only came in a few days ago, but..
she copies my work,
then shouts in mmy face "DID IT FASTER THAN YOU! Ha!"
She swears alot,
Nicks sweets out of my bag that i don't even give her permission to have,
mocks my accent,
and even calls me ugly.
E.g, today, we were talking about body language. And my teacher said, "Try smiling, even if you pass someone in the street. Smile and it makes you seem more welcoming."
Then Rai, said,
"I did that once and an old lady smiled at me back."
i said,
"Nobody ever smiles at me back."
Rai smirked and said, "It's cause you're ugly."
The teacher looked at her and coiuld tell i was getting upsett so she changed the subject. I felt my eyes pricking bec i have really low self-confidence and i was nearly crying. i had to clench my fists otherwise i'd cry.
then Rai, said, "What's up with you?" really rudely.
Help?

when class finished, i walk down the stairs to next lesson. Abut 5 mins later she came down, and said, "Oh, Thanks for waiting for me, Sannie."
I raised my eyebrows and she said it again.

Answer 1

There is only one way to handle a bully without fighting. Be ABSOLUTELY honest, and tell her what you think of what she's done and do it in front of other people. If she nicks your sweets, say, "I didn't tell you that you could have my sweets, but you took them anyway. That's stealing." If she calls you ugly, say, "It's rude and nasty to call someone ugly. You're behaving rudely." If she copies your work, say, "Stop copying my work. It's cheating."

Bullies aren't used to having their behavior challenged. If you point out to her very clearly that what she's doing is wrong and be sure other people hear you being calm and honest about it, they'll side with you. She'll go find someone else to treat badly.

Answer 2

You know that old saying, "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?" Well... it's not true! Unfortunately, words have a huge impact on people's self-esteem and feelings of self-worth. I had a really hard time through high school so I understand where you're coming from.

Maybe you could speak to the teacher. She should have said something to Rai when she made that comment about you being ugly. If you aren't comfortable saying anything to the teacher, maybe your parents can help. Even just talking about these things can sometimes make you feel better. I'm sure your parents will be understanding and give you some great advice.

Good luck! I'm sorry you're going through this. Trust me, I know how you feel!

Answer 3

Don't let her control your feelings. You can't control anyone else but yourself. She's obviously very rude and hurtful and you're very sensitive. This is actually a great life lesson b/c you're going to have to learn how to deal with jerks like this. It sounds like this is the first time you've had to deal with a person with such a strong personality. It's not fair that people are rude and mean to you for no reason, but you have to develop a thicker skin otherwise you're going to continue being the "victim" and no one wants to feel that way. Don't let her make you feel that way and you're the only one that can do that. When she says mean things to you, shake your head and go about your business like she doesn't matter. In reality, she really doesn't matter b/c she's nothing to you. She's not your friend b/c friends don't do that to one another. Keep your stuff, i.e. your purse, close to you so that she doesn't take stuff out of it. You have to start protecting yourself from these terrible people. The next time she asks "what's wrong with you", tell her nothing. It's the truth, b/c there is nothing wrong with you, she's the one that has a problem.

Answer 4

Couple of things - and this involves adults so brace yourself.

This girl is a bully. She's insecure about where she fits in (you said she was new in class) so she's jostling for "position" in the group. In putting you down like she does she thinks she's gaining "position." Of course, that's ugly and evil.

Since you're still young, this will take intervention by adults. So enlist help from your parents and the teachers.

Speak with your folks about the situation. They're going to have to back you up - so make sure they know both sides of the story as best as you can tell them.

Speak with the teacher - with your folks present. Your teacher needs to speak with Rai to explain to her that her behavior is most unacceptable. This is especially true for her copying your work (called academic fraud - cheating - which will get both of you into deep trouble) as well as nicking your lunch (which is called stealing - which is a crime). And finally, her uncouth language and calling you names.

Ask your teacher if you could be moved away from having to sit next to Rai. In fact, since Rai is a "cheater" she should be separated from the rest of the class so she can't be looking at other people's work.

Do this before you get caught - it takes 2 to cheat - one to do the copying and the other to let the cheater see your work. So be proactive about the cheating.

Now then, insofar as YOU are concerned, Unless the teacher is willing to stand up to Rai and tell her in front of the class that her mean remarks are not welcome and that she will keep her unkind remarks to herself.

If not, then, with the teacher's understanding, the next time Rai says something unkind to you - stand up and face her and in a calm, deliberate tone tell her that her uncouth and vulgar behavior is both uncalled for and unwelcome to you; and that she is degrading the entire class with her insecure and revolting behavior. Then calmly sit down.

After class, tell her straight to her face that until she behaves in a more refined - and certainly nicer, manner, you would just as soon not have her for a friend.

This isn't going to be easy honey - but this girl is a bully. Bullies are usually cowards - and when confronted directly - often cave.

What this may just do is give Rai the tacit approval to stop trying to impress people with her brashness - and hopefully you two can come to be friends - or at least have a good understanding of each other (which is the same thing).

Answer 5

u must be strong darling, we'v all had experiences like this and it's how u deal with it, what matters. you have two options one is to ignore her, don't give her a reaction, and hope she gets bored. the other is you must be really brave, and always have a answer back, like a clever put down,think of things in advance to say and try to say them in front of others, so people will laugh a her. she sounds like a horrible girl, maybe she has a horrible home life. i remember this girl used to bully me at school, she was really big and tough and i was terrified, one night i was at a disco , i was a tiny well brought up girl who had never said a bad word to anyone in my life, on the way home she jumped out and started beating me up, and something inside snapped and i fought back and won, a few weeks later she became my best friend, and she was really quite nice. i think she was on herown at home a lot, her parents had money problems and were always working, she had to make her own tea which was a tin of beans every night. so feel sorry for the girl but still sort her out. this experience will make u a better person

Answer 6

Violence is NO way to solve this problem. You really need to tell her that she is annoying and mean and to leave you the heck alone. Stand up for yourself! And if that doesn't work, then it's time to get the teacher involved. If the teacher doesn't help it enough, then go to the principal. I know nobody likes to be a "snitch" but the bottom line here is you are being hurt and abused by a fellow student and somebody should do something about it. Start by trying to solve the problem yourself.
Good luck!

Answer 7

consult your guidance counselor. tell her about your problem and ask for the proper thing to do. as for me, i have the most arrogant seatmate you can ever imagine, and to control my emotions, i live with the quote, 'Patience is a virtue.'

1st option: talk to her in private. tell her how you can't understand why she is doing those acts to you. approach her calmly and be careful with the words you will use! you don't need to step down her level because you will just heat things up.

2nd option: (if you don't have enough courage) remember that it is better to keep silent than to argue with her... just pray to God to lead her to the right path.

and try to follow my anti-wrinkle strategy:

relax, take a deep breath, flip your notes to the last page where you wrote, allocate the bottom part as a ticker. write there the date(and time) every time she utter a thing against you or when she violate a rule of manners.

in the end, you will be excited to count how many ticks you collected and if she reaches the 100th or 1000th mark, celebrate it with her! give her a cake BUT be careful not to say why are you celebrating! (haha! no, that's too bad!)

the moral is to take her attacks positively and just improve the life you have. don't waste your time listening to her insecurities and by these, you will prevent the early occurrence of lines in your face!

goodluck!

Answer 8

you would be high-quality. look at existence on the upside. I ought to declare i'm neither stable looking and that i ought to do with dropping weight and whilst i become in college I hated that. Now i'm at uni and its great. specially circumstances a existence exchange like which could turn your total outlook on existence. you're 17 so quickly you will possibly be able to compliment to pass onto uni or university. I calculated your bmi. this is 20.9 it quite is acceptable. 25 and over is in basic terms too intense, 18 and under is in basic terms too low. So dont concern approximately your weight.

Answer 9

Well, that's really interesting. As if I'm watching a tv soap program. she's doing this because you are allowing her to do it to you. I'm not telling you to fight back but there are ways to get even not necessarily doing what she is doing to you. First, develop your self confidence, get involved in a group or team work. You can develop friendship with other girls. You're not ugly, I believe. she's just making you believe you're ugly because she's destroying your self-esteem. Believe in yourself. Don't mind her. The more you entertain her sarcasm, the more you will feel bad. Good luck dear.

Answer 10

oh ignore her, she is just looking for attention. If you think you have low self-confidence, she has it 100 times worse than you. Why do you think she acts out so? Because she isn't sure of herself, so she picks on you to make her feel better. You should tell her to **ck off! If she keeps on bothering you then talk to your teacher and maybe you two could go to mediation or something, but she just wants attention.