my ex bf is a cop with a very abusive personality. now he is threatening me. what should i do?

Question

i learned things about him while we dated that could get him fired. we have mutual friends but now he is telling me that i better stay away from everyone that he knows and i better not say anything to anybody. i'm keeping quiet, but i don't like being threatened and i'm scared. what should i do? he is a policeman

i'm good friends with some of the other policeman and we live in a small town. he is telling me to stay away from friends who are also my friends. thats not right

Answer 1

Sounds like he is very scared, that you will spill the beans...get as far away from him as you can, but tell a good friend of yours what is going on...someone you can really trust. Tell him that you have no intentions of telling anyone anything, you have moved on and are not holding a grudge and ask him to do the same. Kill him with kindness!
You know what they say....keep your friends close and your enemy closer. Good luck sweety

Answer 2

In most states, it is not illegal for you to record conversations as long as one of the parties has knowledge. I would record some of the threatening conversations just for your safety. Also, you can talk to his superiors though I don't suggest this without proof of what you know. Avoid the people that he's warned you about for the time being because I wouldn't want you to be in danger, but be very aware that he's probably watching you fairly closely if he's as dangerous as you say.

Sorry to say that if you're in a small town or community, the blue blood of the law enforcement runs deep. Though I doubt it's within your means at this point, if it gets too bad, I would move away if only for a short time until things die down. I don't have much faith in law enforcement for the most part because so many have the ability to get away with a lot.

For those of you who doubt this, my friend was held in "suspicion of a crime" while her soon to be ex husband, a police office, emptied her house. They held her for 6 hours only to let her go without questioning her or arresting her. During this time, he emptied her bank accounts as well. She was left with nothing.

When she reported this, they said there was no proof that he even had the items, some of which she had before she met him, and they said they couldn't do anything. Luckily, the judge believed her, but that was almost two years later during which time she had replaced those things. The point is that some, NOT ALL, take advantage of the position they hold.

Answer 3

doesnt matter , if he is a policeman or a preist , a relationship is about mutual respect , and builing on each other equaly and fairly , although there is a degree of authority from the male , there is no reason to overstep the line like this , if you make rules in a relationship , it turns something which is half tempting , into a must do , he is an idiot for attempting this kind of authority , taking free will into , his will , my advice , weigh up the pro's and cons , and think realistically about what has prompted this . forget about getting him fired , keep what you have learned , and walk away , do not fire up the situation on exit , you always have rights , and if it is biased in the police force , that use another agency.

Answer 4

Cop or not..you need to file an order for him to stay away from you. I believe it's called a protection order. Then you need to file a report with the police so they have it on file that you have been threatened. don't let him do this to you. Document everything he either says or does. One thing you can do is keep a voice recorder in your pocket and record what he says to you. It is not your fault he is a dirty cop..it is his. He needs off the force and needs to face the things he has done and move on with his life from them. I have about 3 cop friends. 2 of them use thier badge for ill. The 3rd is unusual as he is very honest. It's rare to find a completely honest cop in all aspects of the job. don't worry about the jerk. Take control and get him out of your life for good.

Answer 5

No one has the right to threaten us or tell us what we can and can not do. You need to document these threats, record them if you need to, save messages whether on a cell or answering machine. If you are afraid for your life then you need to act on this and get a restraining order against him regardless if he is a cop or not.

Once you submit to his threats, then he has total control over you. You do have a moral obligation if this police officer is breaking the law!

Whatever you do, don't threaten him with what he has done as leverage as this can be dangerous.

NEVER be alone with this man ever again even if he threatens you.

Answer 6

Why don't you engage the services of legal counsel. As a cop I am sure he would realize the advantages of not antagonizing you once you do that.
You seem to be unsure of yourself, this leads me to think that you are a pushover and that he was the 'man' in your relationship and he still wields some influence over you. Stand up for yourself.
By the way, once you take up legal counsel, see it to the end. Plus you do not need to reveal what you learned about him during the time you were dating.

Answer 7

My opinion on this is simple violence against women Australia says no. but if you are not from Australia that should not be a difference at all. go to the cops even if your bf is one.
just be brave and you will get past this and plus be positive. Be strong and do the right thing and do not feel scared,

Answer 8

i would try to just stay away and if he keeps on record it or sumthing i suggest video camaras in my house everywhere get them off ebay.com cause threatening is not ok dont report him to his superiors cause all cops stick together go to another police station or detective and have him investegated be careful who u talk to inform the detective that if he says anything to anybody else it may put u in danger

Answer 9

Oh my, to serve and protect takes on a whole new meaning.

Although, you prefer not to be threatened, cool, you know that about yourself and realize this behavior scares you. Just move on, to another state, prefecture, town or county! This bad cop is bad news.

Answer 10

Keep quiet, and leave. if he comes after you threaten to talk. if he continues to threaten you get a restraining order. Try to get your family's help. Stay with male kin and be safe. Family is the best support will always be there with you.