Right my situation is I am 27yrs old and live with my mum in her council house. I am disabled and have been since I was little, I have leukodystrophy. I feel as if evrything that I do or say is wrong and the thing is I just want out of her grasp as I feel as if she is controlling me and everything that I do. For instance this morning she came upstairs and said that her dog Cain had jumped on the settee to look through the window as she was knelt on it and she was really pleased that he was copying her. Now she went downstairs to move the car off the drive to let the two dogs out and I went downstairs into the room and I let our cain out of the cage he sleeps in and he jumped on the settee and when my mum came in she played hell with me and said do not interfere with my dog. They are not allowed on the settee's and you shouldnt have let him out. Now to me this sounds a bit double standards and one rule for one and one rule for another. Please tell me your opinion's on this? thank you
2007-09-23 23:42:54 · 10 answers · asked by stardu5t7 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
As i have got to know you over the course of time, i have come to understand just how things are for you and your mum at home.
I know that leaving is not an option as yet due to your mums medical condition. All i can say is hang on in there, you know i will always support you as very dear friend.
Please look to the future, as there is one for you out there, maybe not just yet but it will happen.
Good luck and take my dear friend xxx xxx
2007-09-24 04:17:50 · answer #1 · answered by richard_beckham2001 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Frustrating isn't it.
I work with autistic adults, the parents are often the cause of lots of problems. As a professional, I have studied and have some understanding of autism. The parents only have experience of their sons and daughters. Although this experience is valid, the methods and habits that are used to help their offspring is often based on what we were doing 30 years ago rather than the much more efficient ideas of today. A simple example is shoes. We might spend a lot of time waiting for someone to tie his/her shoelaces. The parents step in and do it for them. This chips away at their dignity and independence with alarming effect.
At the age of 27, you are obviously an adult. Its very difficult for mum to see you in this way and she has an overwhelming desire to look after you and care for you. In short, she will probably always treat you as a child,
Have you explored alternative living arrangements? Depending on the level of your disability there may well be help available. If you start looking at brochures and other literature relating to your disorder, maybe mum will sit up and realise that you are an individual in your own right and not the disabled child that you once were.
Edited to apologise if any of this sounds condescending.
2007-09-24 07:10:06 · answer #2 · answered by dave 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a talk with your mum and explain to her that she is choking you with rules and she needs to chill out. You live in the house too and she is too controlling and critical of you and you need your own space. She is being too bossy and you cannot tolerate her attitude any longer.
This is a very negative situation to be in. Your only resort is to live in some type of group home and there are even more rules to follow there. I lived in a group home and you don't have any privacy. They tell you when to get up, when to eat and when to go to bed. I hope you have it better in the council house than that.
Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. There has to be some changes made in order for you to get loose of her grip on you. Good luck!
2007-09-24 07:05:13 · answer #3 · answered by MissKathleen 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a social worker? If so talk to him/her about it. I have a friend who is hydracephalic and spina bifida and has had both legs amputated and he lives independantly in a specially adapted home which was given to him through social services.
If you haven't got a social worker you can find your local office in the phone book. I'm sure they'd be able to help you. Disabled or not you still have the right to live how you wish. You're an adult and your opinions should be important.
Good luck
2007-09-24 06:52:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
if you are infact 27, and have an honest personality, then know this
parents expect their kids to move out at 18 and make a life for themselves, whereas your already 27, she`s lost the joy of having to respond to you, and cuddling you.
You can cure this by,
! forgetting and recovering as fast as you can
! swallowing the harshness by using poetic feelings
! remember when your not doing something productive, the mind and the atmosphere in the house leadst to the nesting place of evil
2007-09-24 07:11:46 · answer #5 · answered by cannystonehenry 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
its a pity that she is doing this to you.maybe she is doing this cos she has more stress than you might know.you have not talked about your dad.if he is there,try talking to him but do not loose your temper.learn to take a deep breath.then look for an opportune time when she is in good mood then you say your truths cooly.she may also be jealous of you although Mums should really love.good luck.
2007-09-24 07:14:05 · answer #6 · answered by ngai h 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like you both need a break from one another.have you thought about moving out on your own,or is this not possible?have you tried talking to your mum to see if there is something else bothering her?it may be that it isn't you but because you are there she's lashing out.try talking to her and tell her how you feel.if that doesn't work is there nobody else you can talk to?good luck.
2007-09-24 07:04:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
she needs locked up. is you mum that woman in the film misery.
2007-09-24 06:58:09 · answer #8 · answered by spaceman 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the only answer will come from your mother. Talk to her.
2007-09-24 07:28:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your mom has Issues !!
2007-09-24 06:51:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋