When I was young my mother used to give me spankings, and at the end she would always yell at me to smile and wouldn't stop spanking me until I did. Well, now whenever I get really upset I'll start smiling. A lot of people over the years have misinterpreted it to mean that I'm very cocky or just don't care about whatever it is that they're saying.
So, I really have three questions:
1) Was it normal for my mother to do that?
2) Is it ever okay for a parent to spank their child with anything other than a hand (like a hardcover book, remote control, or other blunt object)?
3) What should I tell people who are close to me that get upset because I'm grinning back at them?
2007-09-23 23:33:58 · 8 answers · asked by Jane T 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Im sorry but I think your mother in her own weird way has trained you to appear insane.
Your dad should have stopped her and said " what the f are you doing to the child?"
The problem with that kind of parental behavior is that it can be passed on to the next generations and you will end up with either a reputation for craziness among other things.
And no, it is not ok to hit a defenseless child no matter what others say. Id say, wait until the child is as big as you and we will talk about you hitting the now grown up child when size disparity is not an issue anymore.
Third question- that is hard. Tell them you were trained by your commando mom to resist interrogation and torture, or something to that effect. Then start to train yourself to well- at least pout. Resist all facial smiling tics and keep that mouth pursed like you were sucking a sour lemon , ya hear? Lol.
2007-09-23 23:54:46 · answer #1 · answered by QuiteNewHere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. I don't think anybody really knows what "normal" is in families. Because, everyone has a different upbringing, but I do think it is very unusual. Generally, it seems as if she was trying to get you to forget "she" was the one who was hurting you by getting you to always smile. Realistically, I believe you should have time to think about what you did for being spanked to begin with and making you smile I think, actually reversed the action of get spanked to begin with, so why spank you, if you have to smile after it? Again, this does seem very unusual, because you are then reading the spanking as a "smile" moment instead of a punishment and you can 't rectify in your mind that your mom was 'a bad person' for spanking you.
2. Again, okay is a wide area. The objects you mentioned seem very weird to me, and also very inaffective. I believe that a spanking should not be abusive, just a spanking with your hand on their bottom, and probably not a belt even or of course a blunt object. It would be too easy to get out of control for people to use something other than their hand. Although a belt, usually will be enough to scare children without ever having to use it.
3. Smile and you will get a smile back. Grinning is a cocky smile, but a smile is a smile.
2007-09-24 06:49:36 · answer #2 · answered by candleslightup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I don't think I was ever beaten as a child but I do laugh when upset. Its just the way I react. Many people have taken this the wrong way but I just try to explain in the moment that's just how I work.
I don't approve in ever spanking a child and its well, just sad she excepted to smile during or after
2007-09-24 06:56:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. I got a few spanking in my day, but was never forced to smile, and continued to be spanked until I did.
2. I don't think so.
3. Tell them nothing or that you have things from past you're dealing with and you are not being disrespectful-if they are close friends of yours.
I wish you the Best!!!
2007-09-24 07:20:12 · answer #4 · answered by michelle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After spanking you your mother felt guilty and wanted that smile back on your lips at any cost.Now you dont have to explain that to anyone.And i think its really good that after getting upset you grin .Thats a very strong sign of your personality.
2007-09-24 06:45:26 · answer #5 · answered by ANU U 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Instead of telling them the truth directly, I would simply reword my explanation. Explain that you had a traumatic childhood and that you "learned" to respond to pain (emotional and physical) by smiling. Say that it is a temporary response, and when the pain sinks in later, then you "feel" it.
2007-09-24 06:42:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
jane your perfectly a normal, homely girl
all that matters is that there are millions of girls and boys near you who have similar weirdness, but they blame you to hide their own truth,
never care what they say, and the problem will go away
2007-09-24 06:41:21 · answer #7 · answered by cannystonehenry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) I THINK IT WAS NORMAL (SHE DID IT WHEN U WERE A CHILD I GUESS)
2) IF IT DOESNOT HURT THEN ITS OKAY
3)JUST ASK THEM TO LET IT GO
2007-09-24 06:47:08 · answer #8 · answered by j27vivek 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋