(by the way i'm not sexist its just a bit of fun which should all in some form or another be able to relate to)
How we differ!
1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a £20 , even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.
4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.
6.CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change , and she does.
10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the rubbish, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
2007-09-23 23:10:02 · 20 answers · asked by Agent Zero® 5 in News & Events ➔ Current Events
kamran i'm not claiming they are my own creation does it matter as long it makes people laugh?
2007-09-23 23:35:27 · update #1
This is fantastic! Gonna print it and put it on the fridge. A star for you O funny one!!!!
2007-09-23 23:14:15 · answer #1 · answered by bagpusstail 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i really like these ones: Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. that is so true yet so funny! i love it! and im glad i am single now! hahahahhahaha!
2016-04-05 22:43:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very entertaining for a Monday morning.
How about 14. THE PHONE
A man will use the phone to get a message across to someone else in as short a time as possible. A woman will use the phone.
2007-09-23 23:22:41 · answer #3 · answered by max m 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh dear, its funny becasue it's true! Specailly the bit about the cats!
Just to expalin point number 11, Men get a good nights sleep because for some reason their snoring never wakes THEM up!
Lol
2007-09-24 02:31:11 · answer #4 · answered by Wonderwoman 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Women will never be Man's equal until they can walk down the street witha comb-over and a beer gut and still believe they are fabulous.
2007-09-24 00:12:47 · answer #5 · answered by Doodle 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's great! Ever asked your wench if she'd like a bag of crisps? I bet she said no and then ate 3/4 of yours,they all do!
2007-09-23 23:30:44 · answer #6 · answered by friSbee 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hilarious-now there is a man with an open mind-I can feel the draft from here!!
Only joking.
2007-09-23 23:52:14 · answer #7 · answered by Plato 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
loved 5 8 and 13
will have to print this very good mate.
2007-09-23 23:21:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
They got better as they went along and some made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the Monday morning chuckle !
Q.12 - priceless.
2007-09-23 23:17:26 · answer #9 · answered by Louisa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Giggle. Too true.
2007-09-23 23:17:31 · answer #10 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋