Marriage is one of the biggest committments you will ever make. It takes trust, devotion, patience, compromise, teamwork... I could go on and on. I want to know what you guys think is the hardest thing about marriage, and be HONEST. Do you think it's:
*Having to always consider someone else along with (or ahead of) yourself
*Having to see and put up with the same person every day for years
*Having to resist the temptation of other people
*Your partner's unchangeable "quirks"
*Or something else, whatever you think is the hardest thing.
To me, it would probably be my husband's "quirks." They aren't really quirks; he suffers from a mental illness and some emotional/psychological problems that make him hard to deal with at times. I would say learning how to deal with those things was the hardest part of marrying him, because once I married him that was it. I bought it, whether I wanted it or not, so to speak. But that's kind of a unique thing. I want to hear what ya'll think.
2007-09-23 20:50:09 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldn't change him, because the things that make him difficult also make him unique, interesting and who he is. He's definitely one of a kind. But it was difficult, especially in the very beginning.
2007-09-23 20:51:09 · update #1
You sound incredibly supercillious. I didn't read the word "respect" in there at all, and without respect, there is no trust, and you aren't even compatible. For somebody who thinks they know so much, you sure do miss important stuff.
Having the benefit of actually having spent time thinking about these things: confidence, integrity, flexibility, positive attitude, a sense of humor, respectful, self-control, being interesting and being a giving person are all required for the relationship to be a great one.
Seems to me that none of the stuff you list even comes up with two people who meet these criteria, so I am assuming you are missing some of them.
2007-09-24 01:30:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I understand your concerns. But marriage doesn't suddenly make people behave. The same reasons you are so afraid of not being married happen with or with out the paper. Its just seems easier to walk away. The divorce rate is so high because we have become a selfish society that when ever we see something we may like better or things get too tough we walk away instead of trying to work on the commitment. And that is the hardest thing, is the commitment. When you decide to marry you make vows legally and spiritually to commitment to one person for the rest of their life. This includes good times and especially the bad times. Its the bad times that people run out on. The ''paper'' only comes into play because the government dictates it for tax purposes. I personally don't care about the paper. It mean nothing its a dead tree piece. Our vows to each other is the marriage. You can be married spiritually and not legally but it just wouldn't be recognized by the government.
2016-04-05 22:38:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The balancing act between supporting partner and individual needs. It takes a lot of thought, consideration, and a touch of wisdom to get that balance right where two people can harmoniously exist and continue to grow and thrive without damaging the union as a whole. It's a very intricate and difficult dance but it is beautiful beyond words when it works.
2007-09-23 21:07:09 · answer #3 · answered by Wolfen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think compromise, and those unchangeable quirks are the hardest things to deal with.
2007-09-23 20:55:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your observations about marriage are nice and real . Your experiences about it are cruel and hard ! Without even knowing anything about you , I really feel sorry for you for what little you have made known to us .Personally I feel for illness part you must see a doctor. And , for the problem you face day to day as a wife , I think many ladies face similar situation in their life and they can better suggest you how to come out of this .
The sublime helplessness expressed in your statement is eternal and its very hard to put forth any readymade solution to this . I must agree with you that marriage is the greatest commitment on earth . But , I am afraid , we seldom remember this when the ties are knot ! It's more a truth for us the guys as many of us go for physical beauty to choose our partner for life . Without conceiving the meaning of partner or the entirity of life we commit ourselves to this most delicate and sensitive relationship. Naturally , the emotion recedes with the period of time , the real person in our partner comes fore front and we begin to understand the meaning of 'life' and 'partner' . And , there comes the hardest part to adjust with whatever you have ! Some are lucky with more adjustment skills. Some may also have rasonable partners with forgiving mentality . But , if otherwise , the problem begins which may end up in separation .
To conclude , I want to point out one difference in attitude and outlook amongst guys and girls which I think contributes the most to the problem. Most of the girls think marraige as the ultimate goal in their life. They also feel one has to love his or her partner to make love. But I am afraid most of the guys do not think so . For them , love is for making love and not for choosing the life partner.
Anyway , I know all these words of observations will not serve your purpose . It's easy to comment after the event and when you become rich in experience you are already through to your life .
Hope , you will come out of your problem with all your efforts and luck and see the life in smile again.
Good luck and good wishes.
2007-09-23 22:21:17 · answer #5 · answered by priyabrata d 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The greatest challenges of marriage come from simply maintaining the vows of such---which sometimes isn't a simple trick to pull off.
It's where the Odd Couple can successfully find ways to harmoniously co-exist---focus on how you can do just that---and you'll do fine.
2007-09-23 21:03:15 · answer #6 · answered by Mr. Wizard 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The hardest part of marriage is knowing that your partnership will end at the worst possible time and that it will probably be preceded by years of care where your lives are even more bound up than usual.
2007-09-23 21:49:28 · answer #7 · answered by CountTheDays 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Having to swallow your pride and admit that maybe you are wrong too! I'm a very stubborn person, so that s the hardest thing for me.
2007-09-23 22:14:56 · answer #8 · answered by akdawswon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The hardest thing might be for the just married husband to carry the just married wife over the doormat... depends on how many pounds she´s got on her hips :)
2007-09-23 20:53:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
If one of the two starts suspecting the other,married life becomes very hard.
2007-09-23 21:47:20 · answer #10 · answered by yogeshwargarg 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋