I live in Washington state and I got a DWI in January. I had to serve time in jail at the end of April. I married my new wife in February and I didn't tell her about the DWI because she is against drinking alcohol. Instead when I had to serve my 2 weeks in jail I told her that I was going away for classes for work. She believed me until this disaster. My ex wife somehow found out and called me and told me. I denied it. Next she sent an email from some jail website and I said that the person wasn't me. If that wasn't bad enough she went and somehow got a certified copy of my DWI and jail time and sent it to my wifes email address. This has caused many fights between me and my wife. My ex wife says that she sent it because I called her a liar and she was only concerned about the kids while I was in jail. I think she is trying to break up my marriage. Should my wife be angry at me for a DWI that I got before I married her? Does my ex wife have the right to send this to my new wifes email?
2007-09-23 19:20:27 · 22 answers · asked by John Joe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My ex wife thinks this email address is mine but it is my new wifes email address.
2007-09-23 19:21:27 · update #1
My ex wife is remarried and we have 2 children we share custody of. I can't get a restraining order because she has liberal contact with the kids. I wish she would have sent me a letter in the mail instead of sending it to my wifes email. This way my new wife would not know.
2007-09-23 19:32:13 · update #2
My ex wife thinks this is my email. She has no idea that it is my wifes email.
2007-09-23 19:38:09 · update #3
I took a look at your profile and read your questions. Most of them are about you being dishonest. You say your ex wife didn't know this was your new wife's email and thinks it is yours so in all aspects she was really sending the email to you. No, she is not in the wrong under these circumstances. Second of all, maybe you should quit being such a terrible liar and these things won't happen. Your ex wife has every right to know if you are doing time in jail and are suppose to be caring for the children too. I am a mother and would want the same thing. As for your ex wife and others saying she is jelouse, I doubt that. She is just concerned for her children and you being a liar just makes her worry. As for your new wife I feel very sorry for her. She probably trusted you that you don't drink and then you go and do that. If I were her I would leave you now before you strike up another story or should I say lie. It seems to me you have been dishonest with both women. You seem like the type of man who has no morals at all. You should learn to quit lying. Counseling may help you out a great deal.
2007-09-23 19:55:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, your ex-wife seems to have some jealousy issues maybe! But you were wrong for not telling your new wife about the DWI and jail time. It should have been you that told your wife about it and your ex-wife should have been told as well just because you have children with her but other than that she should have stayed out of it. But be a man and tell them both that you were wrong. But also let your ex-wife know that unless you talk to her about things that may affect your children...then she needs to stay out of your new marriage.
2007-09-23 19:36:10 · answer #2 · answered by *bAdHaBiT* 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should have told her. The DWI may have been before you were married but the jail time was after. This whole problem was created because you lied in the first place. I'm sure your wife would have understood. Now you have to try to regain your wife's trust, she is probably wondering what else you have lied to her about. Now you should be apologizing for lying to her and trying to rebuild her trust.
2007-09-23 19:38:34 · answer #3 · answered by sara 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well she can't possibly be trying to destroy your marriage sense you have said over and over that she didn't know this was your wife email, you should have told your new wife about the DWI but you didn't I think she should get over it.. everybody makes mistakes. Your ex have the right to get in to this because she is only worry about the safety of her children so bottom line this was mostly your fault I think you should apologize to both of them.. and promise not to drink and drive anymore.. good luck.
2007-09-24 00:46:55 · answer #4 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a tangled web we weave when we first try to deceive! Just messing with ya. Seriously, u should of told ur wife up front. Lies always seem to make their way to the surface. That can't be changed now. It's not quiet ur x-wife's biz to spill the beans on ur lies but now that it's out there, I would be straight up with ur wife. U are going to have to constantly be lying every time ur wife wants to bring it up or when ur x-wife decides to send more evidence. I would sit ur wife down & be like look honey, Im so very sorry for lying to u b/c I know how much ur against drinking. I was at a stressful moment in my life & felt I could find happiness at the bottom of a bottle & I know it was irresponsible of me to drive but I now know how drinking can cause u to make bad decisions & I have no intention of ever doing it again. U could tell her the reason u lied was b/c u didn't want to disappoint her b/c u know how she feels about drinking. Then afterwards, do something real nice for her. Ur wife could potentially ruin ur marriage by getting ahold of some hardcore evidence u can't talk ur way out of so it's best to come clean before it's too late. Good luck!
2007-09-23 19:50:57 · answer #5 · answered by ms_jones6465 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think your ex should be in your business. I also think though that you should of told you new wife about the ticket and jail thing.I think when you get married it is just good to go in without any secrets.Trust is a huge thing in a relationship, and now that your wife found out I am sure she is more mad about the not telling the truth then she is about the whole ticket jail thing.I think you need to talk to your wife tell her that you made a mistake and that you should of just told her.Also assure her that this will not happen again. It is also important to let her know that telling the truth and trust are important to you.GOOD LUCK. Also tell the ex to stay out of things.
2007-09-23 19:39:52 · answer #6 · answered by kittens 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No way man. This is like a 'days of our life' moment. Your wife could rightly so be pissed. You should have been outright in the first place. The past is in the past and she married you because of the person you are now not the person you were back then. She should come round but you didn't help yourself when you told your own 'porkies' ie. going to classes. Secondly your ex needs to get off of your case man. Hopefully your present wife will see through the ex's nasty bag of tricks and this won't cause anymore problems.
Good luck dude. Hope it all works its self through. Not worth losing a marrage over!
2007-09-23 19:33:17 · answer #7 · answered by Matt M 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well first its not any of your ex wife's business to bring your mistake to your current wives attention. she need you understand that your life with her is over and yes i do believe that she is trying to cause problems it could or couldn't be intentional but it was not right for her to do that. second you should have kept anything from your current wife you made a mistake and you should have to told her. you only didn't tell her because you didn't want her to get mad instead of first thinking of her feelings. remember what you don't know can still hurt you because a secret always surfaces just like situations like this. communication and trust is key in a marriage and you wife probably feels like she has neither from you. when you lie once you could like a million times and its scary to her that she may not know. all you can do now is reassure her and try to earn her trust again.
good luck
2007-09-23 19:31:52 · answer #8 · answered by justabitbitter147 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your ex-wife is evil...no offense, but yeah, I do think that she might be trying to get back at you, cuz some women are just bitches. I know alot, and I've dealt with alot. They're not just pretty and have personality...they can be mean.
Be honest with your wife because honesty is the secret to a good marriage. If you feel really really bad about it, tell her that. If you gave up drinking and stuff like that, tell her that.
I hope it all works out for you.
2007-09-23 19:27:57 · answer #9 · answered by DragonLady 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yeah dude you shoulda told her. Honesty and trust go hand in hand...especially in a marriage. But you two can overcome that. Your biggest obsticle is gonna be the ex. Trust me she has no concerns for your family except to see how much trouble she can cause. Block her from your email. Then get a restraining order. That should do the trick!
2007-09-23 19:26:41 · answer #10 · answered by Twinkie 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋