How to explain to this kid?

Question

Hey I am a 24 years guy and living alone at present. This girl of 14 years living next door used to come to me almost every day for playing with me. I was also thinking that she comes to my home just for playing. But yesterday, she tells me that she loves me and thats why she visits me daily.

I really went mad. A kid... OMG... I tried to explain to her, but she is little cranky. Cried, shouted and went home back. I am embrassed to talk to her parents too, because, she is still a kid and I do not know how her parents will understand this. How to explain this girl that she is still a kid and ..... I dont know what to tell her. I am sort of work, work, work natured guy and this is the only girl who spends time in the evenings with me, when I am free. I was too happy to meet her as a kid that needs some one to play with.

Please help me, how can I explain to this kid?

We normally play outdoor a lot. I have a good lawn and we play badminton or table tennis some times and that too out side only. Ofter we play chess and some times she helps me (what to say... keeps talking to me) at cooking or so at home. All these for the past one year and I have never felt any thing different that she is a kid. She is short and small and a cute little kid.

Hi "L" that sounds good, but I am tight scheduled most of the times. Let me try this out.

Thanks for many many answers. In fact, it all went fine yesterday in a totally different way as I wished. Yesterday eveining I called her to my home. She was little different in mood and was not talking that freely at the start. Then I came direct to the subject. I asked for her mom's age and she said 34. I started from there. I told, I am 24 and like your mom's brother and like your uncle. And I told her that I am looking at her like a child and my care towards her is like a care to a child. I then spoke to her for 10 or 15 mins explaining the relationships of a family and the type of relations one can have with people outside the family. To my surprise, she was quite listening me. She said sorry for what happened the last day. Further I convinced her not to feel bad for it, because, it is all the age that drives, and all. After 30 mins, she became as before and we had our dinner together and played chess for 10 mins. Cool. I think problem is solved with her.

Still Thanks to all.

Answer 1

Be upfront and honest her parents, and take the initiative to tell them; it may be weird, sure, but it's a lot better that you tell them than that they find out on their own that their daughter is in love with you and they suspect that you're messing around with her (which is bound to cross the minds of protective parents). Tell them you're uncomfortable and embarassed with the situation and that you never meant to give her the impression that you're interested in her in that way, and you want to make it clear to them what your intentions always were. You're not there to embarass her; you're there to ease their minds and to cover your own butt.

As for what to tell her, probably best to tell her that you like her the way you would a little sister. Although the fact that she left crying suggests that she probably got your message and is just disappointed and humilliated, which is pretty normal in such circumstances.

It's going to suck for her, but think of how much worse it would be for her if you weren't a responsible and moral adult!

Answer 2

She's 14, you're probably her first crush. I would definitely talk to her parents because they will be able to help. Tell the 14-year-old that you have a girlfriend or have been dating women your age but you'll always enjoy playing with her. I'm just curious, what do you two do together? Play board games, video games, what? Maybe she thought the time you spent with her meant you two were an item. Sorry and good luck! Poor kid. I remember having a crush on my neighbor at that age (he was probably 19 or 20 at the time). Now we are both adults and married with kids and not that far apart in age as adults and still talk as friends.

Answer 3

I am sure, if she had a crush on you, that she was devastated to learn that the affection wasn't reciprocal...but, you did the right thing. Her hurt, while deep, is only temporary. As for her parents, they were young once, too...and they are likely familiar with the concept of teenage crushes. If they have any sense at all, they will respect you for staying the course on the high moral ground that you have chosen.

As for what you might say to your 14 yr. old friend... Tell her that you consider her a friend and that you respect her as a person. While you are flattered by the profession of her feelings, you are not in a position to tell her what she wants to hear... Your feelings are limited to friendship....and you place a high value on that friendship. You know how difficult that it must be to hear this, but it is also difficult for you to say it because it's not your wish to hurt her feelings. In the end, you know that she would want you to be honest with her...

Tell her that you envy the fact that she is just beginning to enjoy her Jr. High and High School years...they are a special time that she will only live once. She is a terrific person who will meet someone just as terrific...in time.

If that doesn't work, remind her that there are laws against such relationships for a good reason... If she takes on the role of the "woman scorned" be especially careful to keep your platonic friendship outside where there are plenty of neighborhood witnesses, so that you are less likely to be accused of something untoward.

Answer 4

She's 14... I had a crush on the older neighbor when I was 14 too lol. Tell her that you are flattered, but it isn't right for a grown man to be with a child. Help her find friends her age. If you know anyone with kids her age, or if you have cousins that age, invite them over for her to meet. Don't feel bad... but don't make her feel bad either. She is more embarrassed than you are, trust me. She will be okay. Next time you see her, talk to her like it never happened. If she brings it up tho, I already told you what to say! Good luck!

Answer 5

Tell her straight that she is far to young for a relationship with you ,tell her she can be a Friend but that's it ,If this won`t work then go a quietly talk to her parents ,She is mistaking your friendship for love ,she may think because you have shown so care in the past that you want her to be a girl friend.
She may get upset at first but should get over it .end things fast as the longer you take the more in love she may become
Or she could say that you have done things so see her parents to give your self a chance if this happens

Answer 6

Try to tell her that you can't have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, and try to talk with her parents about it if you can. You can still spend time with her such as playing badmittion, chess, and tennis, and doing other things, there is nothing wrong with that. It may be difficult to explain to her the age difference, so you have to try your best to say something to her without hurting her feelings, and saying that you really cannot have a serious relationship with her. YOu can also tell her that you still like her as a "friend"

Answer 7

You really have to think twice her, before you tell anything to her. Remember, she look at you in many ways. 1. a friend to play with and shares stories with. 2. She (with out your knowing) see it, that you and her have a very special things in common. 3. she is in love with you.
If i am in your position, i will tell her the truth. I mean explain to her in a very nice and respectfully way, that it cant be happened. Your to old for her and you look at her as your little sister. You have to be honest to her about what you feel, so she can understand you. You have to reach her way of thinking so you will not hurt her feelings but ind stead give her the information and confirmation she is longing for. By avoiding her makes your and her situation worst. If she continue feeling in that way you might not play with her anymore and starts avoiding her. You look at her in a different way and that relationship you and her want to preserve. If she cant take that information you need to avoid her and forget all the good things happened because it might lead to a misunderstanding not only from your side but in her family side (moral issues). I am absolutely sure that she will understand it, as she is 15 not 8.

Answer 8

You should tell all this to her parents. Not every guy this girl meets is going to be as responsible as you are, and she could get into serious trouble with somebody else. They need to at least have a chance to try to protect her from herself.

You already attempted to explain to the girl, and if she's cranky, she probably understood you just fine. Now you need to stay away from her. It's too bad if her feelings get hurt, but she could get you into serious trouble -- even jail. (Especially if she feels rejected and wants to get even.)

Answer 9

explain kid

Answer 10

Why don't you just say to the parents of the kid what you just shared with us. This will explain your situation and the fact that it bothered you when the little kid said she loved you. Most important part is to cover your as.s so the parents don't get mad at you.