What do you do when the mother of your stepchildren smokes pot and instills that its not wrong?

Question

My step daughter got caught lying about her smoking of pot to her dad and I. She is stealing it from her mother and then giving it out to her friends. The mother is lsaying its not a big deal because she is getting good grades in school. The oldest sister came to us all upset because her mom's sister is a major drug addict and doesn't want her sister winding up this way as well. We were told that its not our business.

This child is 14 years old. I am appalled because this was brought up in court and the lawyers said 5 years ago that the mothers drug use was no issue. Now this child is stealing her mothers pot or going over to her grandmothes house which is next door and taking it from the stash that she home grows in pots in their bathroom!!

This child is 14 and lives with her mother full time and only is here every other weekend.

Answer 1

Report, anonomously, the pot growing to the police. Maybe they will arrest her. That should open some eyes.

I threatened my ex to report him or quit, but you are the step mother, and I would not put your name into it if possible. Finally my daughter went to school and told them. He was told by the school that if he did not quit, they were going to report him.

Answer 2

I do NOT want to sound like a hypocrate here, because I USED to smoke pot a LOT but NEVER EVER in front of my child or in the HOUSE whether or not my child was there.. the thing is, no matter what, POT SMOKING IS STILL ILLEGAL even though it doesn't SEEM like a big deal, it IS.... especially since it has now trickled down to YOUR DAUGHTER who is only 14!!!! I would go back to court if I were you and get a court order that all POT smoking and GROWING in your ex's home or your former mother-in-laws home MUST STOP... this CHILD is still YOUR DAUGHTER TOO...and as a parent you MUST do what you HAVE to to protect her and if she is passing pot out to her 14 year old friends, you are setting yourself up for LAWSUITS from the child's friends PARENTS plus risking the child going to Juvie if caught......I PERSONALLY believe pot should be legalized, but UNTIL it is, it IS AGAINST THE LAW....

Answer 3

First off it needs to be known that although Weed is indeed a drug contradicting what most people would argue as not being a drug, is less harmful than any cigarette. With that said it would seem that this girl has a problem with it at this stage and simply needs to deal with the consequences. If her mother supports it then the girl will learn her errors the hard way if she runs into complications in the near future. One thing I can say for certain is any attempt to force her to stop will only make the situation a lot worse! Good luck with that.

Answer 4

Isnt it amazing how biased the law is on drug use , my daughter spends every 2nd weekend and half holidays with her dad and his pot smoking g/f who is my ex sister in law.

She tries telling me her usage doesnt effect my daughter because she it does it in the bedroom away from my daughter and her own children (right cause it cant seep out between the cracks of the door ok good right gotcha), Her son smokes pot with her when he is there and she is the reason my 2 son's smoke it but she got them hooked when she was still married to my idjit brother who is also addicted.

Dead set this woman can not go 1 day without it and I dont have it in my house or on my premises or on my own body so I dont see why I should be ok with it.

If I were you I'd go back to a solicitor or ring child services and the girl's school , find a tv station that reports this and run a story on them see what she feels then about it being "OK".

I'll fight to my death to try and keep my daughter of the junk period.

Answer 5

Wow! I'm sorry you are dealing with this.
I think if it were me in your place I would sit the daughter down and explain that there are people who don't believe this is wrong from a moral/ethical standpoint and that is their right. However, no matter what these people believe, it is wrong in the eyes of the law so there will be consequences. Then, the next time she has some marijuana, I would place a call to the police... maybe even anonymously so she associates the punishment as coming from a legal standpoint instead of a parental standpoint.
Just a suggestion. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

OMG... sounds like you need to smoke a joint yourself. Smoking pot is not "wrong". That is simply your percption of it. However, I would worry about her stealing pot. She should be able to tell her parents and step-parents anything. Obviously, she doesn't feel comfortable letting you in on the truth. She probably doesn't want your judging eyes on her. It is hard enough to be a teenager. Give the kid a break! The real place to worry is when she starts drinking alcohol. That is way more dangerous than smoking a little pot. You need to chill out.

Answer 7

Kid gets good grades in school. What's the problem? Just because you are a moralistic, and apparently ignorant prude, why condemn her to your judgemental mindset if she has the chance at a real life? Get real: pot isn't a drug, it's an herb.

Answer 8

You say her father caught her in a lie but yet you said nothing about what he did to DEAL with the problem. It' snot YOUR place to deal with it is the child's father who needs to discipline the child...if he doesn't then you really can't blame the child for the way her PARENTS have chosen to raise her. The blame rests on the shoulders of her mother and father. She has learned her behavior from them afterall.

Answer 9

ITs just pot people. And they're not smoking in your house or around your kids. Jeesh lighten up hit the bowl. Its not like the mom is doing rails of coke or shooting herion. How many moms drink openly or smoke cigarettes around thier kids????

Answer 10

contrary to popular belief that drug is very dangerous. its breed paranoia and other things. (with prolonged use) get a good lawyer and get the child out of there. good luck