Should i get an abortion?

Question

Im 19 years old. I wanted to have this baby but now im not sure anymore my boyfriend (soon to be father) says he wants this baby , but most of the time he acts like he doesnt , and ever since i told him i was pregnant hes been acting all weird. When i tell him i want an abortion he looks at me like im crazy or something!. I tell him i think im too young for a child but he says age is nothing but a number..easy for him to say because hes 22. Im so confused! its like one minute i want the baby and the next i dont.
- Please help.
-Tia.

-yea by the way im 5 weeks pregnant
-and dont tell me i shouldnt have had the kid. That doesnt make things any better
-and please if you have nothing nice/advie to say or give then dont say anything.

-oh my god......leaving my boyfriend is NOT an option i love him to death.

Answer 1

Couples will want your baby, that's for sure. There's so many kids in care because they aren't babies or they are severely disabled. I can almost guarantee you that someone would want your baby, even if they are disabled. Because people see an older child as damaged goods- I know it's stupid, as most have only been screwed up by society as a whole, that screwed their parents up. Because the system is unfair, the allowance of abortion is a prime example of that.

How do you think kids who have to live 'unwanted' feel, they may have started off in life wanted until they hit the terrible twos. They are then being told subconsciously by abortionists, that their life isn't worth living, shame on abortionists.

In fact there's a huge waiting list most places for baies, children in care homes were often placed there when they left their cute, unblemished baby stage & society then turned their backs on them. Just think if you were an infertile couple who couldn't get pregnant, would you rather adopt a baby or a child over 4. Many couples will wait years, in some cases decades, just to adopt a baby, some run out of time & never get to adopt at all. Yet there's an endless numbers of children over 4 they could go about adopting almost right away. But there's often so much paper work etc to adopt, they don't think it's worth it unless they get the baby they want. In truth there's many single women who might like to adopt these children too, but get refused just because they are single or unemployed, don't want a psychological evaluation etc. Yet they could provide very loving homes, much better for these children than the care homes.

My wife sometimes felt like you did, she was just panicking because she suddenly felt great responsibility, that she wasn't used to. But you need to know, people will help you, you won't be alone. Don't worry or do anything stupid, just sit tight, sometimes is best to just do nothing. Your boyfriend will likely come round, when the child is born, when he can see his baby. Because there's a lot of difference between seeing a pregnant woman & seeing the actual baby. For one thing we have no rigths to the child, until they are born. So some guys don't want to get attatched to them, only to have you women take them away from us.

Answer 2

I have been in a similar situation. I was pregnant at age 19, and at the same time I thought I was too young. My boyfriend who was 23 at the time, started a drug addiction with heroin and coke. I on the other hand do NO drugs.We planned to get an abortion because we were not ready, we didn't have any money, or a steady living place. I actually had 3 appts, but never went through with it. I am pregnant still this moment, my due date is 9/28. And I tell you from the bottom of my heart, that an abortion is not worth it! It will leave you emotionally scarred. If you find out after having the baby, that you don't want the baby, theres always the choice of putting the baby up for adoption. Its normal for a pregnant woman to go through these emotions, I think you should possible talk to a counselor or go to a doctor appt and see what works best for you! I think you should think about why you really want and would not want the baby before you make the decision because abortion is a serious thing.
And don't let your emotions burden upon your baby's father. Trust me,I have been through it. My baby's father is currently in jail, and I have been doing everything on my own. The whole pregnancy I dealt with his addiction. Times were rough, but having my baby will be priceless. Good luck with your choice!! I hope the best!!

Answer 3

You have a lot of soul searching to do. What is happening when you want the baby? Then what is happening when you don't want the baby. Your boyfriend is 22, do you think he will stay with you and the baby if you have the child, or do you feel you will be a single mother. A lot of good people out there are trying to have a child and can't There are many loving families out there that I am sure would adopt you child at no cost to you. That decision is yours it is your baby.

I had a nieghboor girl get pregnant about your age. She was confused as you are now. She went throught with having the child and to this day she says that her girl was the best thing that has happened to her.

Get your boyfriend around other kids, seeing how he acts around them will give you an idea of how he will be when your child his born. Volunteer him to babysit etc....

Talk to people that have had abortions and peple that thought about abortions and kept the child. That my help

Remember one thing, you were responsible enough to do what it takes to make the baby. But now that you are pregnant, don't blame the child for your irresponsiblity.

Last but not least, Talk to a professional Counselor. He/she could help you with the feelings that you are having

If you were to asked me personally.... I would tell you to have the child and put him/her up for adoption or keep the child yourself

Good Luck

Answer 4

You cant take back an abortion so be sure you want this. 19 is young but age really does't matter. I know 30 yrs who have kids who shouldn't. If your not ready to put a childs life first than maybe you should think about this.

Once you have a baby there is no more parties, no more going out and doing what you want. Where you go is where the baby goes. I will say its amazing watching them play for the first time, smile, walk and see there first doggy.

There are so many rewards for having a child and there are a lot of hardships too.

Honeslty I was told I couldn't have anymore kids after my daughter. I would love to have another baby in my life so before you think of abortion maybe you could put the child up for adoption so people like myself can have a beautiful blessing.


If you would like to talk more about this send me an email to [e-mail]

I would love to just listen and help in anyway I can

Answer 5

Please do not get an abortion. There are so many reasons why not. First, abortion is not a form of birth control. This child has already been conceived. Second, when you have this baby (and it is a baby already- not just a fetus), you will have so much joy- or by going the adoption route, you can give someone else so much joy. You have no idea the love that you (or someone else) can have for this child. Your boyfriend is right, age is just a number. Nineteen is young, but if you wait until you're ready to have a baby, you probably will never have one. You might never be ready, but this tiny person has a destiny and by getting an abortion, there's just so much potential that you will be stopping. It is completely normal to feel ambivalent about becoming a mother and even after you have the baby you might still feel that way, unsure etc, but so many people before you have done it and you will adapt and you will be so thankful that you have this tiny person that has so much love for you. Don't look to your boyfriend for the answer. Even though it helps to have his support, your relationship with him might not be permanent and you will have to live with your decision forever. Please consider what you are doing, and if you don't want to keep your baby, look into adoption.

Answer 6

Hi Tia...I'm sorry you've found yourself in this crazy situation. Some people see abortion as wrong. Maybe your boyfriend is one of those people? If I were in your situation, I'd respect the baby's father in not having an abortion, BUT I would consider adoption. Many women dismiss adoption because it's so hard to carry a baby and then "give it up". I say if you are not ready to be a parent, it's the most loving thing you can do for your baby. BTW, some of the feelings going on are your hormones...so don't make any rash decisions you may regret later...always take time to think things through. If you wont to talk more, contact me. Good luck!

Answer 7

I honestly think that this is your decision, I had my first child at 17, it was hard as hell but I got through it without the father let me add. what you need to realize is that everything isn't always a fairytale, don't have or terminate this baby to make someone else happy because you are the one that is going to have to deal with the baby when it's all said and done. If you honestly don't think you can handle being a mother right now then I really think you should think of other alternatives because aborting that baby is going to be with you for the rest of your life and once you do it you can't take it back.So, just take some time to really think about it and make sure you decide for you and only you.

Answer 8

First off that isn't a decision you want others ot make for you. Second, I did not want kids AT ALL. I mean I hated snotnose little brats. I was 21, My first pregnancy was totally unplanned and my husband and I were fighting non stop. I did not want that baby at all at first, but I was told I was too far along for an abortion. So of course I had her and now I am pregnant again. And honestly I do not know where I would be had it not been for her, she has made me grow and mature so much. Was the kick in the *** I needed.

Now I am not against abortion, but as I said I felt on again off again about wanting a child all through the pregnancy and I would cry myself to sleep thinking I could not love it enough. But it turned out to be the best thing in my life. The choice is yours but no matter how many women won't admit it, many women DO experience these thoughts only to be given the greatest gift they have ever received.

Answer 9

Only YOU can decide whether or not to get an abortion. You shouldn't let other peoples opnions influence you.. I think the teetering is normal for young, single mothers. You're confused, you don't know if you can do it yourself, you don't think you're old enough, etc.

I was 19 when I had my first son. I was given NOTHING but opinions on how I should have an abortion, I'm too young, I'm too this, I'm too that... but I couldn't do it. I now have a BEAUTIFUL two year old boy that my life would be incomplete without. He's the reason I get out of bed EVERY SINGLE DAY.

tell your boyfriend how you're feeling. Don't use abortion to throw in his face because you don't feel like he's paying much attention to you, that's not cool. Sit down and have a SERIOUS talk with him. Tell him you're feeling scared, that you need the reassurance that he's going to be there, etc.

I hope you make the right decision for YOU, not anyone else.
Goodluck.

Answer 10

Come on guys give her a break...she needs support here.. You are so adiment about protecting Fetus's but have no respect for what she is going through???? SHe is asking for help NOT to be verbally bashed...

Ok honey, YES you are young and I know this is a scarey time, BUT just think of all of the 16 and 17 year olds going through a similar situation..

NOW You say you love your boyfriend and HE wants the baby... So why not just stick it out.. and raise the baby together. Of course he acts a little weird, I sure it is because just like you he is scared to death..

And also honey being pregnant has a major effect on women...Emotionally, Physically..
SO one minute you are excited and the next you just don't know what you are going to do..

I will tell you this,,, When I was 22 years old I got pregnant... I was happily married, we were doing fairly well at the time financially..BUT LET ME TELL YOU>> We both went through the emotional roller coaster..At first we were both scared to death and then we were happy and just back and forth.... . But then when the doctor handed us our little girl...All of the doubts just went away And I knew that everything would be okay. And I don't know what the rest of your situation is but I would just really really think Hard about this honey...

This is a big decision and one that can not be undone.. So what you should be asking yourself is How will I feel about this in a week, a month, a year??? This decision will stay with you sweet heart... Ignore the people on here that are being hateful.... You need to sit down and seriously talk with your BF and work this out between the two of you. There are goverment programs that can help you until you two get on your feet.

Yes having a baby is scary... I am 23 weeks pregnant with #2 ..and I am a little nervous about that... BUT Once you are holding that precious baby in your arms, you will realize that EVERYTHING you went through was totally worth it..to become a mother... So please honey think about this...

I will pray for you and your BF>> I hope this helps ... And I wish you the best..