how to have satisfying sex?

Question

i have been married for 1 year and yet to have a child wif my wife.. honestly, i dun enjoy sex and prefer watching soccer over sex.. usually its my wife who suggested we "get it on'..
the reason why i dun like sex tat much is becoz on most days i cant geta full erection or even if i get one, it will "slim down" after 15mins or so... very seldom i get a hard erection until i ejaculate..

is it becoz of my porn addiction? i have been secretly masturbate by looking at porn and i dun have any problems with erection by looking at porn..

any guys with experience could help me... thanks!

Answer 1

Well, I'm not a man, but I am like you; I have always found sex with myself the most enjoyable kind and that way I am not responsible for another person's pleasure, or lack of it.

If this is a serious question, which it may not be, I would suggest that you might be suffering from performance fear; that you can't satisfy your wife, or it may be that you are unwilling to commit the time and effort necessary to provide pleasure to her. Only you know the answer to that.

I was going to mention sexual orientation, but if you watch a lot of porn, and it involves women probably latent homosexuality is not the problem. (But if there are no women in your porn it might be.)

There is also the question of health problems since you have difficulty maintaining an erection, but if it is only with your wife that this difficulty occurs then that is not the answer.

I would suggest, if you really want to correct the situation, that you forego porn completely, as well as masturbation, for a significant period of time and see if that doesn't improve the situation with your wife.

Answer 2

I feel the same way. A problem some people in my family have had our money issues. Either one spouse spending too much or carelessly or not saving or whatever. So, me and my husband decided early on that we would maintain seperate finances and seperate savings. I spend my money, he spends his. We have worked out a formula for paying the bills, and while its not equal, we both pay into the bills from our own accounts. I get faulted by many people saying I must not trust my husband and this and that and this and that. Well, I do trust him, I just have seen what money fights can do to a relationship, and I am trying to take steps to prevent that from happening. I have also been in prior relationship where all my money was spent by the other person. Never want to go there again. Nor do I want to be with a person who cant keep a job and has no stability. If they have no stability themselves, they clearly cant help with the bills, will end up spending the other persons money, and there is that fight. I dont want that. And as far as sex life, I dont get that either, because if you go to the marriage and divorce board, over half the questions are about sex life issues. Sex can cause the relationship to end as well. In my opinion, considering these issues before committing to a relationship is thinking ahead and being smart and an attempt to ensure a happy healthy relationship.

Answer 3

It sounds like you aren't having a problem with you penis. It sounds like you're getting bored with your wife. She seems willing enough but it just sounds like she's not doing it for you? What is it about the porn that's different from what she does?

She's married to you and as your wife, she should be willing to listen to what you have to say. Women are sensitive and it's best to start off with you telling her you love her and she's wonderful. Tell her you want to add a little spice into your marriage. Ask her to do something that would turn you on. My husband and I introduced toys into our bedroom. Sometimes I'll dress up in different costumes depending on the mood. Goth, ****, whatever. Just talk to her. Maybe if you ask her to watch a porn with you it might give her ideas. And also, it's not a good idea to do anything secretly in a marriage.

Answer 4

What you are experiencing is more common than you might think. And, yes, porn addiction can be a big piece of the problem. Here's an organization that helps guys and couples with porn and relational problems. It's a 24-hr. number.
call 1-800-NEWLIFE. A year from now the two of you may have moved beyond this whole problem.

Answer 5

That sounds kind of like a problem with your relationship, perhaps spice it up and do some stuff with your wife that would be done in the porno? Or get her a sexy outfit or something? If you get off on the porn but not her, that means you're more turned on by the porn, so why not try to emulate parts of the porn with her?

Answer 6

It isnt the porn per se. It is the attitude you have about it and your wife. She has become "humdrim" to you because she is always there, porn is someone you cant have so you are "excited" to see something that you cant have. Maybe you and your wife can role play. I like to give my wife a lot of foreplay and "get her off" first. Then when it is time for the main event, she will have been satisfied already and this will help her and you get off together. Can we say, "Whipped cream and Cherries)? Good Luck

Answer 7

If you are able to jack off to porn then you are physically capable of having sex and it has nothing to do with masturbation. It could have to do with something more emotional. Maybe you feel guilty about the porn addiction and don't want to tell your wife. If its not that you could talk to your wife about your addiction and maybe try watching porn while getting it on.

Answer 8

You feel like you cant live up to porn. Your wife does not care about how porn stars have sex. Stop looking at porn as a foundation on how to perform. So go have sex with your wife as yourself not as a porn star. Use porn as self stimulation only not a guide to sex with your wife.

Answer 9

Sexual things are all learned. You have trained yourself to only get erection when looking at porn. The girls in porn will never look like your wife. They don't even look like that in real life.

Answer 10

dude,

if thats da case, y not watched porn 1st, together with ur wife. wait for it to be fully erect and get it on..

it can be a good variation u know...