My boyfriend is having a baby with his ex. They broke up without knowing that she had conceived. I'm not a step mom, so I don't know where the boundaries lie. His ex hates me very much and if all three of us are together, it would be very awkward. She still has feelings for him but he's made it clear to her that he is done wiht her in every way except for the baby. So I'm not going to be present for family get togethers when the three of them get to be a family. Is this normal? Should I just back off and let them have their time? Or should I find someone else who can be proud to bring me home to his family?
2007-09-23 15:43:03 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He has to be a father to the baby. But he doesn't have to be the husband to it's mother.
Family functions - he can just bring the baby - not the mother.
As the child gets older, it will likely want time just with Dad too - which means without either of you.
2007-09-28 01:37:57 · answer #1 · answered by SamToucan41 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, this is the beginning of baby mama drama. First of all i assume that you know how he feels about you. AS for the family events that is going to take a little time for you to be invited. This is really a decision that your boyfriend and his family has to make. If you two have been dating for awhile like some years than the family has already grown to like you. If your been dating months or so and you really don't know the family well, it's going to be awkward for everyone. When family events come around i would let them know that you would like to come. This is going to be a sore issue for awhile until everyone acknowledges that you are his girlfriend now and she is his ex and the mother of their child period. Once the three of you are together it will be awkward but that will fade when other events come and go and your there. She will use the child to make you feel like some 2nd class citizen believe me. Stand your ground and be strong and don't let the situation get the best of you. If your boyfriend and his family wants you there then that's all you need to get threw it. Tel them that your not going to back off, that is what she wants you to do
2007-09-23 23:13:47 · answer #2 · answered by MZCOLE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being the third wheel is never fun .Nor is being the fourth.If he has made it clear that he wants only to be with you than respect he doesn't want problems when he is with the baby and her during family time .Not to say that Christmas should soley be between him and his ex cause um yeah that doesnt fly right with anyone.But if for some reason she needs his help dont fight it and as for him being with the baby He as a father has rights too and he can bring the baby home to spend time with you also ... you may not be married but that doesnt mean you cant be some kind of maternal figure in his childs life.The future with someone you love shouldn't be a gey area when it comes to kids.
2007-09-23 23:32:07 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure the baby is his 1st? They lie!!! EXES!!! I think I would find out first if the baby is his!! Then if you really care for this man then stick around!!! I am a step mom of two, an it's the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in my life!!!! There is alot of DRAMA you have to go through......Her calling saying she needs money for diaper's really just wanting to try to get your man back.....Her always being there for the baby's activity's.....Her just being mean because she has your man's baby!!!! It happens and if I had it to do all over besides having my little boy's I'd RUN like HELL!!!!!!!!! Let them raise there baby together!!!! He tell's you what you need to hear!!!!Sorry but it's true!!!!!
2007-09-23 23:05:58 · answer #4 · answered by ajjsdj4ever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As being his girlfriend, you have EVERY right to go with him. I had a similar situation happen to me. Me & my bf have been off & on for 3 years, and one incident he had a one night stand resulting in a pregnancy. I actually became best friends with the mother and it is hard because I am on two sides. I am there for both of them, and I love that child to death. If you have accepted him as being a father, and feel comfortable about giving this baby love, then you will. The mother hating you is immature. Unless you have given her a real reason, she has none. By you being there for him and the child, maybe she will come to terms one day. Good luck and be careful
2007-09-23 22:56:44 · answer #5 · answered by Ashley A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok look at it this way who is he wit u rite then why not take u **** if i was u ill leave him ok i understand thats his kid and she has to be wit the baby but not him u are ur his gurl not him. im preg. wit someother guys baby and have a boyfriend that aint the dad but when it comes to family get togethers its my boyfirend that goes not the baby daddy. i think she's trying control him wit the baby. oh and u'll have lots of baby mama drama and is he worth it all it dont sound like it if he aint taking u
2007-10-01 21:19:17 · answer #6 · answered by the_one_and_only 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no reason he needs to be with her just the baby. she shouldn't be going to any of his family functions just the baby , just as my ex doesn't come to mine what do you mean by can be proud to bring you home to his family?he doesn't bring you there
2007-09-23 22:55:01 · answer #7 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truely love him no stand ground if you don't it isn't worth it take a test...
1. Ask him if he would kill that baby for you.(Lol make sure he really doesn't)
2. Go away for a week and see if you miss him so much you have to come home early.
2007-09-23 22:57:59 · answer #8 · answered by .:+Kaitlin+:. 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Definitely, you should step off a father of another woman's baby.
2007-10-01 05:50:48 · answer #9 · answered by Mirka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is his child. I would find someone else. It will be a while before he would understand how come you are hurt, if ever.
2007-09-26 22:21:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋