I have a big disagreement with my wife's tithing?

Question

My wife and I have grown apart religiously. We were both doing another kind of church and in the last year has gone full christian. She follows Keneth copeland ministries real heavy and I am finding out that she is donating like 300-$400 per month to him and a Babtist group. She has a $2000 Amex bill and asked me for money to pay for this. We both have income so I could just let it go but she also wants to sonate some of what I bring in. I told he I did not agree and maybe we should divorce. I am really not into this and did not sign up for it at all.
My mom gave me a few refrences from the bible where Jesus kicked the tables of people collecting money and so I don't know why these evangelists are justified in lining their pockets. How can they?? I am really wondering if I am looking at divorce. I disagree with all of it

Answer 1

For the record Kennth Copeland owns a home here in my home town in South East Queensland Australia , the property is worth 2.8 million dollars , the land alone cost him 1.3 million to purchase and when I drove through New Port Waterways 2 week's ago he has workmen there doing upgrades on the property , the boat docked behind the mansion is well worth over 2 million.So feel happy your supporting his rich life style , he owns many home's around the globe from what my mother told me she also is a past Copeland fan the money she wasted paying tithe's cost us the house we were renting back in the 90's.

But hey it's ok because he's preaching the word of god , mind you in 1 counciling session I had personally with Kenneth Copeland , he informed me from a reading he did on me that I had done something god couldnt forgive for and that I needed to repent and pay tithe's to get that forgiveness , he claimed I'd aborted a child and was so guilt ridden I couldnt even tell my parents about it , ummm never had an abortion sooooooo , keep the tape kenny save yourself some dolla's babe.

I would seriously advise against anyone believing what this freak states.How many houses do you and your wife own? how many boats? can you fit 10 houses inside your current house like the 1 in New Port waterways he owns? if the answer is yes then hey you can afford to keep Copeland in the accustomed lifestyle he has become so used to living.

Answer 2

Usually tithing is giving 10% of one's income, so for tithes your wife should only give $1 out of every $10. Unless she's getting $3-4,000 a month, she must be giving other types of donation. As you don't have the same belief system as she does, you are not bound to tithe your earnings and she doesn't need to do it for you. Some people can get really enthusiastic about their faith, and may not consider how their loved ones feel about it. It's like if someone found what they believed was a miracle cure, they'd want everyone else to know about it and wonder why others didn't feel the same. So, probably this situation you're in now has come about from lack of open communication lines between the two of you. If you're wife is a true Christian, she would not want to get a divorce, and would rather work out the kinks. For you as well, you probably have some good memories and maybe divorce isn't your first response. Talk it over and I'm sure you can come to an agreement. Maybe even a marriage counselor? After all, marriage is a partnership deal, not a monarchy or dictatorship.

Answer 3

I would look at the ministry and what they are doing with the money. Personally, I do feel comfortable giving to ministries that help the poor and those facing natural disasters like CBN's Operation Blessing, or James and Betty Robinson's "Life".

I am not familiar with Kenneth Copeland ministries. There is a website where you can check and see if such ministries have an open book policy where they are held accountable by another organization and have their books checked regularly.

If you all are well off then consider giving to these ministries. But I think it best tithing be done in your home church, first. 10% is probably good to start with, and if you can afford to give more, then consider doing so.

Jesus said the work of God was taking care of the widows and orphans...

In Malachi chapter 3 God says "I hate divorce."

Don't separate over this issue. You can work it out through prayer..

Answer 4

If you wish to be Biblical in your tithing and offerings, here is what is supposed to happen. The tithe is the FIRST tenth of your earnings which means to be Biblical you need to get a paycheck ahead with the full ten %.(this way the government doesn't get theirs FIRST in taxes) This is GROSS and not take home. So if you have a salary of $1000 a week before deductions, you give $100. This is to be given to the church you attend and NOT to a television evangelist. Then there are offerings and what is called a "seed" offering. This can be whatever God "leads" you to contribute. This, if anything, is what she should be giving to Copeland. He is a good man with his contributions but he would even tell you NOT to send your tithes to him but to the local church you attend.(At least I have heard him say this) So to be Biblical, take both of your incomes and take 10% of the gross and give this to the church you attend. Anything above that is offering. You don't need to divorce, just read the Old Testament about the tithe. It doesn't change in the New Testament at all. You will find the laws of tithing in Leviticus.

Answer 5

Wow - what a can of worms you fell in to, eh?

Before you get divorced - get seperate bank accounts, put all the savings in your name, and don't give her any of your paycheck. Let her deal with her tithing, but keep watch on the credit card bills - don't let her rack up a huge amount of debt because you might be held liable for it if you divorce. Make sure you know all about any credit cards she applies for also, it is so easy to get new cards - and hide the bills.

Try to talk to her about what she thinks is going to be the end benefit of her tithing - try to do it as non-judgementally as you can. Really try to understand what her reasons for tithing are - is she trying to buy herself some salvation? trying to use tithing as a way to assuage some guilt? does she truly think that the money she gives is helping someone who needs it - rather than just lining some preachers pocket?

Only when the two of you understand her reasons for tithing can you do anything to fix it - or at least bring into line with the income that she earns.

Take a look at your household budget and figure out what percentage of the total you should each be contributing. You should be putting in funds that are comprable to the relative amount you are making. Say you are earning $60,000 a year and she earns $20,000 a year - she earns a 1/3 of what you do, so she should be putting in 1/3 of the budget. After she puts in her share and pays her credit cards - then she can do whatever she wants with the extra - buy clothes, get manicures, or support charlatan preachers...

Try some marriage counseling, too, before you get divorced!

Good luck!

Answer 6

I used to follow the Kenneth Copeland ministries, but the Holy Spirit convinced me to stop. I just had this gut feeling that the Copelands were bilking people out of money they couldn't afford to give. Your wife has fallen under their spell. The Copelands remind me of Jimmy and Tammy Baker from the 80's. Look what happened to them.

You need to explain to your wife that tithing was a part of the Law of Moses or the Old Covenant. Under this covenant, the priests received tithes because they did not receive an inheritance or land since their services were to offer animal sacrifices for Israel's sins and to perform other services in the tabernacle. The Torah states: "To the Levites I have assigned all tithes in Israel as their heritage for the service they perform in the sanctuary (Numbers 18:21)." The term "ma'aser" (tithe) denotes a tenth part. Yahshua the Messiah's mission was to fulfill or abolish this Old Covenant (Mt. 5:17-18 Rom. 10:4; Heb. 10:1-17).

Under the New Covenant no one is required to give tithes, for the Old Levite priesthood was abolished (Heb. 7th chp.). This does not mean that one cannot donate to a ministry. However, one is led by the heart (Rom. 8:14), not the dictates of Laws, to contribute for the perpetuation of a ministry or other charitable endeavor.

As the head of the household, you need to take charge of the finances etc before her debts get out of hand. She is being taken for a ride by the Copelands.

Answer 7

Went through the same thing, going to a church that danced around with cash and threw it on the alter, that's messed up.
The church we went to would always end a night with an emotional speech about how much money we should give every week, made you feel like amazing things would happen if you gave more more more..... bunch of crap! Get you worked up then tell you to give.
Bills grew and she kept giving, it made no sense.. I had to tell her it was either we go to another place where we could give and be part of a church without losing our home...

We almost got divorced over the same thing. We now go to a church that teaches and does not make you feel guilty if you cant give $100 on a Sunday. Non denom can be a dangerous thing.

If anyone disagrees with me I don't care, you know some churches abuse people who only want to get closer to God.

Answer 8

Your wife must really hate herself to get sucked into that. You're right that Mr. Copeland does line his pockets with the money which is wrong. His ministries are really an offshoot cult from Christianity. The man hates women, gays, poor people, liberals, minorities etc.

You need to talk to your wife. I know it's not just a money issue. It's her cult as well. Perhaps suggest counselling, at YOUR church. Tell her your more comfortable there or something...maybe your church leader can convince her that she's part of a cult.

Answer 9

I would hope that you would not divorce your wife over money matters. Seek professional counseling if you must to resolve your differences in this regard.

Tithing is a standard practice in Christianity today. Your wife is obvious a strong supporter of ministry and missions. She should be complimented for her dedication to her faith and religious convictions. I am certain both of you have been blessed because of your contributions down through the years.

I do feel that she should Tithe(one-tenth) through her local church. Then she should make a determine effort to clear up any indebtness at this time. Once this is cleared up she can give an offering to other ministries to help them out from time to time.

It may be good for both of you to establish a family budget. Pool your finances together and decide how the money will be spent.

Answer 10

Jesus' purpose for kicking over that table was not relevant to the collecting of tithes, which is an attempt by mankind to live in covenant with God by giving back 10% of the fruits of your bounty to the God that made them (and all things) possible. Your blessings can (and do) flow from that. But you shouldn't take my word for that, or Kenneth Copeland's either. Read your Bible.