is co-sleeping safe? SIDS FALLS SLEEP HABBITS? how to make safe?

Question

my bub is 7 mths old, and she is teething and waking at night a lot, the only way i seem to get any sleep is to have her in our bed, i was basically chastised by the nurse, saying itll ruin her sleeping habbits for life, that SIDS is a huge risk now, that because she is crawling she will fall and it could seriously harm her because she is tiny.....it made me scared, how can i make it safe? im not getting any sleep with her in the other room and i feel too guilty when i see her crying so hard all by herself in that big cot i dont really have room for her cot in our room she slleps between us at the moment

: ) thanks im in Australia

thankyou so much for your advice and support!

makes me feel better to know others are going through/feel the same, and that i am doing the right thing for us, good for tips to be safe though, thankyou all, pity i can only pick one best answer

Answer 1

You will not ruin her sleep habits for life.
Our son is 11 and coslept until he was 2.5 years of age. We started to wean him out of our bed at age 2. He went to his own bed very readily after we set up his room.

To make it safe:
1. Put your mattresses on the floor and right up against the wall.
2. Never leave your baby unattended in the bed.
3. Place baby between you and the wall- never between you and your spouse or with pillows.

At 4 months of age- I had our baby on a pillow lengthwise so that when I nursed her I could have her at an even level and so she would not slip. By 11 months, that pillow became hers and she sleeps on it now by herself in our bed. She is 13 months old now.

To wean:
We placed a crib mattress beside our bed for about 2 months, then decorated his room. After bath, we read to him in his bed- and then he'd come to ours. He slept there for naps only to start with and we put him in his own bed one night after reading to him and told him it was his big boy bed and that is where big boys slept- and he stayed.

There is evidence out there that co-sleeping reduces the risk of sids. The baby's sleep rhythms mimick yours. I have noticed that in our babies- that the will relax when I relax and drift off.

Self soothing is not crying- and if they are upset, they are going to be harder to put down at night.

Go to:
www.askdrsears.com

They have good information.

Sex life: if we are going to go there- lets:
1. Who says sex has to happen in a bed???
2. Who stated that sex has to only happen at night?

Once you have children you must become much more clever about sex anyway. We have an 11 year old running around- and must be clever.

Good luck to you!

Answer 2

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp

OK... the nurse has her info wrong... she's actually quickly growing out of the SIDS age.. which is most common between 3-6 months... this will not harm her sleep habits at all, if done correctly (in a welcoming rather than a last resort, fighting until you give in to allow it manner)... the crawling part is true, but only if you sleep so deeply that you would not feel her movements... look at that site for lots of good information.

and honestly... is your nurse the only one you're allowed to see?? if not get a new one...

any medical professional who chastises you for your parenting decisions is far from a good medical professional ... I'm not sure how the medical system works there where you are... by the uses of the words "bub, cot, and nurse (instead of ped.)" I can tell you're not typing in the USA... here, our doctors work for us, we pay them (even if by our insurance companies, or our social service system), if they give us inappropriate advice, have a bad bedside manner, disagree w/our parenting philosophy, or dare criticize us - we fire them and get new ones!!

Seems that even if in a socialized medicine system, you should have some, even if limited, choices on who is your healthcare provider!!!

"No Cry Sleep Solution" - by Elizabeth Pantley is an awesome book, helping w/ babies/toddlers sleep issues

Answer 3

I would buy a cosleeper. You should keep her in bed with you untill she falls asleep and then put her in the co sleeper or you could keep one of those bouncy vibrating baby chairs next to the bed and put her in that when she has fallen asleep. It's not a good idea to have her in bed with you. I'll bet part of the reason you aren't sleeping is because you're scared you're going to roll over/ smother her or that your husband will- I suggest doing that--- or even putting a blanket on the floor and sleeping there. I'm not a fan of CIO as you can see. But I'd suggest CIO over sleeping in bed with you and husband. YOu could also push the bed against a wall and let baby sleep against the wall... I think anything is better than inbetween 2 people. Good luck.

Answer 4

Oddly SIDS only seems to be a huge issue in societies where co-sleeping is chastised. Many cultures let their little ones sleep with them until the next little one is born. And quite frankly I don't see as many issues with their family units as you see in Americans. I co-slept sometimes with my little one and would gladly put her in bed with me if she ever has trouble sleeping. I'll let her whine it out but I will not let her cry it out...my baby is rarely upset...so when she cries, she's in need of something...even if it is just the security of her loved ones.

Answer 5

Hubby and I co-sleep with our 13 mo old and we love it.
What a joy waking up to him!

If baby and you sleep better when you are together, then you are doing the right thing.

I would never recommend that you let your daughter 'cry it out'.
An upset baby needs attention, that's why they are crying!

Answer 6

From personal experiance, I found that if you put the baby on there back, inbetween your arm and you, you and her will sleep threw the night, you wont roll over on the baby maternal instinct kicks in, and you sleep lighter, so if anything even gets near your arm you will wake up. if she moves from that position you will wake up, but the fact is, you sleep.

Test it with taking a nap in the day and your husband can check in on you two to see how your sleeping.

Information on

SIDS
http://www.tinyike.com/sudden-infant-death-syndrome-sids/

Information on

Cosleeping
http://www.tinyike.com/cosleeping-and-your-baby/

Answer 7

I agree with the nurse... if you let him sleep with you, it will be really hard to break that habit later on... My son is teething right now, every time he wakes up I go to him, put a little oragel - nigh formula on his gums or Tylenol and he falls back to sleep in couple of minutes. Some nights are really tough, I don't get much sleep, but I know it won't last forever.

Answer 8

First thing you should do is do something for her teething pain. Use tylenol or another baby approved pain reliever, there are the mesh fruit bag things (in the baby department) and you could put ice in them or mix water and fruit juice and freeze to make it taste better. Also, they make the teething tabs that you can dissolve in water or juice or milk that are great. My son (8 mos) was having bad teething pain tonight, so we gave him ice in the mesh fruit bag, and then put 2 teething tabs in his bottle. He was asleep before even finishing his bottle so we layed him in his crib and he's been asleep since (about 30 mins.) Don't get into the habit of co-sleeping as it is not safe and forget a sex life. Even if you manage to get your baby out of bed for the night, she'll probably crying for a long time. If you need some advice try going to www.babywhisperer.com there are alot of tips there on breaking bad habits and how to help with teething pain.

Answer 9

this is what we do my daughter is 8 months.

-Tylenol and oragel before bed.
-put him in the crib with a bottle and wait and let him cry it out.
-sneak in after hes asleep and take the bottle[just so if there is some left he wont be drinking bad milk]

id also give him a shirt of yours to sleep with so he will have your smell and it will help him sleep.
plus co-sleeping wont ruin anything, it will be hard on you but not him.
hope it helps.

Answer 10

I DON'T recommend co-sleeping! It'll become a habit that'll be hard to break for one, and for two my neighbor up the street had her 9 month old son die from it. lese don't risk your baby's life. Give her a cold teething ring, like the ones you have to freeze.