We have to write a sonnet about being "heartbroken" for English class. Can you tell meif it is too vulgar to submit (its based on one of my relationships).. It has to be 14 lines. here it is:
Day and night, night and day.
Thinking about you and what you did.
Thinking of all the games we would play.
Now that I'm succesful how can I celebrate it?
You are no longer here!
In your eyes I never made it.
How can I transmit my troubled mind?
Now its time to reflect.
Your nose is full of cocaine, its over, too bad you could not abstain; I will not sit here in disdain.
Your face, I will not remember.
Its time to move on and you were WRONG
Like Wyclef, I'll be gone until November.
But look at the bright side, your girlfriend is still showing me her thong.
2007-09-23 13:17:14 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
yes save it for later though
OH SORRY MY BAD I DIDNT REALIZE HOW WRONG THAT SOUNDED UNTIL JUST NOW SORRY!!!
I WAS MEANING SAVE IT FOR WHEN YOURE OUT OF SCHOOL AND IF YOU WANT TO PUBLISH A BOOK OR SOMETHING YOU COULD HAVE IT THERE
SORRY!!
2007-09-23 13:20:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hahahaha.. I mean no, it's good, but it also kind of makes me chuckle.
I have a feeling that the cocaine reference in line 9 paired with the last line will make your teacher squirm a bit.
It's really up to you - the worst that will happen is it will be rejected.
2007-09-23 20:22:39 · answer #2 · answered by Delvala 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That last line is a bit much, but the rest is fine. Try to keep the word 'thong' out of there. That's a little graphic.
2007-09-23 20:21:46 · answer #3 · answered by Eraserhead 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what grade you are in and who your teacher is...his/her level of tolerance. I've seen worse things handed in that got an "A"!
For continuity..if you do decide to turn it in...put the "Your girlfriend" line, on it's own at the end so it has more of an impact.
Personally I don't find it to be a bad poem at all. I find it kind of funny actually..
2007-09-23 20:26:13 · answer #4 · answered by GeriGeri 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i actually really like your poem.
i would say as long as you don't have to read it infront of the class, it wouldnt be to vulgar. Now if you do have to read it infront of the class. it might be a little..but you should be fine
2007-09-23 20:21:51 · answer #5 · answered by KimUSC 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't know about vulgar , but it does sound mixed up .
2007-09-23 20:23:15 · answer #6 · answered by bigfred1954 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice
if he/she is a supporter for the arts, she'll accept it. she cant censor your work. but u should warn the teacher that it has a few inappropriate lines
2007-09-23 20:23:30 · answer #7 · answered by nybabyblu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want a long talk with a counsler, then submit it. Otherwise, keep it to yourself.
2007-09-23 20:23:21 · answer #8 · answered by angela 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! By all means, show her how much help you need with your writing.
2007-09-23 20:21:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's too vulgar.
2007-09-23 20:24:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋