i suspected for years but i always chalked it up to being over jeolous. now she swares it only happen once but she told me for years she had always been true blue. I have always been faithful to her. I dont no why but i still love her i just dont trust her anymore.we have a13 year old daughter together and a 17 year old son from her previous marrige which i have raised since he was 2. should i leave her and if i did is there a women left out there who knows how to be true to someone.
2007-09-23 09:41:20 · 18 answers · asked by Jeremy G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think after 15 years its worth the effort to see if you can save the marriage. I would suggest that you too seek out marriage counseling. It might be an issue that your wife has considering that she was previously married before..
2007-09-23 10:53:15 · answer #1 · answered by Craftychic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are definitely women out here that know how to be true and a whole lot more. I've been where you are at and it's not easy no matter which way you go, staying and waiting for the other shoe to fall while hoping it never happens or starting over. Should you leave? Only you could answer that, but I'd talk to her first and try to find out why she did what she did. I'd let her know what it's going to take to earn your trust again and talk about whether she still cares enough to do so. That can be a very long and painful journey for the both of you. If both of you aren't willing to work to meet the other person's needs...it's not likely to work out for long.
2007-09-23 17:22:25 · answer #2 · answered by bonnieboobabe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Takes two to make or break a marriage. You say you love her, but does she still love you? Unfortunately when love dies in a marriage, everyone suffers and usually attempting to salvage it only leads to more hurt for everyone, including the children. One-sided love doesnt work so you need to have a heart to heart with your wife to see where she stands. Staying together for the children is ludicrous as they will get hurt more in the long run. If your wife also feels that she loves you enough to work on the marriage then you need to start by forgiving her and the whole family should go to counselling. If not then a quick clean break is best. Make sure the children know that you are divorcing EACH OTHER and not them. Yes there are plenty of loyal women out there. Good luck.
2007-09-23 17:07:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should not be hasty in the making of any decision...whatever that decision will be. There is too much at stake here. I would suggest getting some sound expert advice.
Maybe a marital counselor. You will need to have her come clean...completely in order to dispel any doubts or suspicion you have and start on a clean slate (Whether you stay together or not) and a good forum for that is counseling or therapy.
Be sure to ask ALL the questions that linger in your mind with
the expert present. That way he can also analyze her answers and her honesty (an unbiased expert ear)and you will better know where you both stand.
Wish you the best.
2007-09-23 16:54:12 · answer #4 · answered by S.Noone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, yes there are women left out there who know how to be true and we often wonder the same thing of men. Somehow in today's world we have come to a decision as a society that when the going gets tough, well there is someone else out there. That is what your wife did and do you respect her for that? Isn't that what you are doing if you walk away without a fight. I know from experience, too much if you ask me, that it is nearly impossible to build that trust back....unless you both know in your heart and soul that together is where you want to be. When things get boring, you have to turn to each other; when they are horrible and hard, turn to each other. Sometimes we all take each other for granted and forget what's important to ourselves. If you were so jealous of her, then you had very strong feelings for her. Are they strong enough to forgive? Is this one indiscretion horrible enough to throw a lifetime of being together and your future away? Yes, she did take the first step and she was horribly horribly wrong. There is no way she can justify what she did. Only you know her well enough to know if she is truely sorry from the bottom of her being....enough to stay through all of your hurt, anger and resentment to find your heart and trust again. Good luck.
2007-09-23 16:54:44 · answer #5 · answered by littleone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, my advice would be leave. My experience is if they cheat once they will cheat again. It just so happens that she got caught this time. Love is based on many different areas than just love. Trust is a key component to marriage and it has been broken and there are women out there who can be trusted and want nothing more than to be true to the person she loves.
2007-09-23 17:05:27 · answer #6 · answered by Nova 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like trust has been an issue for a very long time.
I consider trust & respect have very much to do with love.
If you lack trust for your spouse, then lack of respect must also be included. So then I ask you, where that puts love on your list?
Yes, there are those who are unable to be faithful.
However, infidelity comes in both genders.
2007-09-23 16:54:49 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are alot of women out here that know how to be faithful but we are on the other end looking for men that can be faithful. what you do is up to you only you can deside what to do. but with out trust it will be hard so you need to talk it out and think it over. im sorry for the lost of trust i know from personal experience how hard that is and how it hurts. good luck and keep smiling.
2007-09-23 17:17:13 · answer #8 · answered by tweettreat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you still love her, you are just hurt which is understandable. You may forgive her but you will never forget. Do you think that you can forgive her and move on? If you can stay and try to work it out. If not there are a lot of decent women out there that won't cheat on you but you have to try and find them. Give it a little time and pray.
2007-09-23 16:59:52 · answer #9 · answered by moonchild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK she's being lying to you all along. Trust is everything. If you were already the jealous type I would say you should move on because now you will never believe her.
You could try counseling if you still love her. Good luck to you.
2007-09-23 16:50:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋