ok , im 37 and my girlfriend is 38 . We have been going out for 3 years and are going to get married in vegas next weekend . But heres the thing , her father doesnt know . and hes like the only familly she has left .
but the thing is he hates me and about a year ago she told him that we broke up just so he would get off her back . hes hated every boyfriend shes ever had she says and said that he doesnt want her to ever get married . now hes an angry man period so if she tells him this then he might have another heart attack and die . and thats not good . But shes kept this secret for 2 years and my mom knows . what should she do....
2007-09-23 09:33:21 · 13 answers · asked by roughdraftie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
or mabie we could just like hide it for a year or so or until he dies....
2007-09-23 09:33:57 · update #1
First off, she should stop lying to her father and tell him before someone else does, because secrets always have a way of coming out and can destroy a relationship, even a faither/daughter one. Secondly, if she is so easily willing to lie to her father, what makes you think she won't be so easily willing to lie to you? You could say it's because she loves you, but she also claims to love her father, yet she is lying to him. You really need to sit down and think about this. If she is willing to lie to her father, then she could be willing to lie to you.
2007-09-23 09:42:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Is he sick and dying? Why would news like this give him a heart attack? Your girlfriend, who is a grown woman, is acting like a child. She should never have told her father that you two broke up. She should have defended you and still should. You both need to grow up and tell the man that you will marry with or without his blessing!
2007-09-23 11:38:41 · answer #2 · answered by mab5096 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watch "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants", the original one. One of the girls has a similar experience and she decides to support her father because he is her father. About not telling you that he was starting a new family, you need to go out with him, (breakfast or lunch) and just him, and discuss the feelings you have that he did not tell you of his "new" life. You need to be honest but open-minded about the reasons that he gives you. He is your father and although he "lied" to you about his new life, he remains YOUR father and nothing can change that. I would guess that you did some things in your youth that he was not happy with but it seems like he has forgiven you. You must let him know how you feel but ultimately forgive him. Good luck.
2016-05-17 05:41:06 · answer #3 · answered by anika 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahhhh, the obstacles that lies & pretence create.
As you said, they are the only family for each other. Now she has YOU. But she remains HIS only family. Thus it's time to bite the bullet and be the adults that you both are. Simply be honest. He will need to accept you. Hopefully you'll both be able to convince him that you're a great guy who loves his daughter.....And if he wants to be in your lives, change must come from HIS side.
I wish you ALL, the very best! ;)
2007-09-23 09:42:36 · answer #4 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ever heard of manipulation???? Because that is exactly what your girlfriends father is doing. Both of you are old enough to know what you're doing, so I would let him know and then it's up to him if he wants to be present in her daughter's special day or not. Don't fall into the "guilt trip" trap!!!!
2007-09-23 09:44:12 · answer #5 · answered by M. J. 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him i cant beleive your both that old and hiding your life from family and i really dont beleive that will casuse him to have a heart attack sure he can use it to scare her. what is going to hurt him more is that she has lied for 2 years to him. no matter what be up front with him. have to tell you one of my kids did that to me lie and hide there life then that just means no respect for each other I might not always like what they do or how they dated but my love for them is greater than that. i think his is for her to.
2007-09-23 10:29:01 · answer #6 · answered by tweettreat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't hide the truth. You need to have a talk with him face to face. Everyone is an adult. It is up to him to accept or reject your marriage. You shouldn't start your lives on a lie or hiding your relationship. Good luck and God bless.
2007-09-23 09:56:17 · answer #7 · answered by A friend of Bill W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should both go tell him. your both old enough to make your own decisions. he needs to start treating her like the 30 year old she is. its your and her choice what you do with your lives, not her fathers. but even though he does treat her like a child, he still has the right to know what you 2 are planning.
2007-09-23 09:38:04 · answer #8 · answered by Heather 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should man up and tell YOU him at least together. That you love her very much and out of respect for him you would like his blessing, but even if he refuses you are going to take care of her for the rest of your lives and leave it at that. You're grown adults, not sneaking teens so act like it. If you don't face him now he'll never respect you.
2007-09-23 09:42:24 · answer #9 · answered by spiffymo 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would just fly to here Vegas like you have planned. then your wife can tell her father when she is comfortable or not.
there's no point in you changing your plans just because of her miserable father. there are so many people like that in the world that you just can't please. life it to short to waste energy on people like that.
2007-09-23 09:51:21 · answer #10 · answered by lv_consultant 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋