my ex's fiance tells the teachers at my kids school to give them?

Question

all the homework and parent folder. I am the custodial parent with physical placement, we have joint custody and they live in another township 45 minutes away. I also have a letter she wrote to the teacher requesting this folder and homework. How do I set them straight and can I file a motion against her/him? Our stipulation states nothing about homework responsibilities.

lots of great feedback here from you all. I am going to a meeting with the principal and the teacher ~ doing a phone conference with the dad. He and I can not sit in a room together to discuss anything with out a lawyer present he has past domestic violence with me and his recent ex-wife... his soon to be new wife has seen his temper and all she wants to do is PLEASE him..... lol.... its sad my kids have to be involved with his life changes at their age! thanks for your opinions here!

I have no problem with sharing the parent folder with them, but I do have a problem when they get the folders on my days and I look bad cuz I didnt have their homework or any info on what was going on daily in the class or projects that were due ON MY DAYS.

Answer 1

If the kids go home with them on the weekend then yes your ex and his new bride do need the homework and parent folder.

If they are asking for these things for the times they are with you then they don't need the homework and parent folder.

It seems to me you should be glad they are involved in your childrens education.

Would you rather they were not and just be a dead beat dad who send you a child support check?

Please put aside your anger towards your ex and his new bride for the sake of the children.
THEY DO NEED THEIR FATHER.

Statistics show that mothers who alinate the children from the father; those children have anger and emotional issues.

Answer 2

I'm sure that schools deal with this sort of thing all the time. Take this matter up with the principal and teacher and work out a plan that keeps everyone involved and informed. Since you are the custodial parent it of course seems silly that she is requesting the folders and homework. Call your ex and let him know that while you understand that he needs to be apprised of your kids school work and grades, sending homework to the home where the children don't reside isn't going to work. Many schools have on line grade books that parents can access. You could send graded work over with your kids during visitation. She sounds like a real number. I wish you luck!

Answer 3

I would tell your ex and his partner that you have the children during the school week and that if your children needed help with homework or studying for the weekend or was doing badly that you would send the things they needed help with over the weekend. I would tell them you will send them a copy of the children's report cards every 9 weeks and if they wanted to know anything else that they could go to the parent teacher conference like all the other parents. I know it is hard to deal with your ex's new partner, but it sounds like they are just wanting to know how the children are doing in school. My husband is divorced and his ex wife will not let us know anything about his child. So we take it upon ourselves to call the school to get her report card and to see when conferences are. If you and your ex have a sour relationship and it would be easier for you send him/her e-mails or letters to let him know about the kids then that's what I would do. FYI most schools have a website that also post an events calendar let him/her know that. That way they can't say that you are being a bag and refusing to let them know about the children's lives. I would only take your ex back to court if he/she is being a constant pain in the a** about the homework and parent folder, like if he/she refuses to communicate with you and takes the homework folder all of the time. Good Luck!!

Answer 4

I doubt the school would go along with this. You may have to reopen the custody case to clarify. Be sure the school knows that you are the local parent, and let the school know it will be setting itself up for trouble if it goes against your wishes. Schools are very fearful of getting sued.

By the way, a "fiance" has no legal standing here. Am I right, Legal Experts? Why is the father having his girlfriend speak for him? Why aren't you two speaking to each other? You do still need to co-parent. If the kids are going to have an interested and caring step-mom, please find a way to accept her, but don't let her walk over you, by any means.

Answer 5

You need to talk to your attorney and get his/her guidance on this. It may be a legal letter informing her she can't do this is all you will need. The other thing you can do right away is take a copy of your custody ruling showing you are the custodial parent with physical placement and tell the school in writing that these things should only come to you. They should honor that request because of the children's placement. But, definitely, a call to your attorney is indicated.

Answer 6

You can notify the teacher that your ex's fiancee has no right to request the information and since you are the custodian parent that you don't want her to have it.

You can send a letter to the teacher and request a duplicate folder for yourself, that's more work for the teacher and she might not like it, but she might not mind.

Or you can have the homework situation worked out and have it all spelled out step by step so, they will know what they can and cant do in this situation.

You can also try doing all the above

Answer 7

I would tell the school that this person is not a legal guardian of the child and they are violating confidentiality laws and you will take action if it is not stopped immediately. They must show that your ex signed the request for information. Being a legal parent your ex can request it I believe as well as copies of report cards, school records, etc.....

The fiancée has zero legal right to request jack-squat regarding your child. Your ex yes, the fiancee not a legal leg to stand on even if they get married her signature regarding your child means nothing legally.

Answer 8

File a motion? What are you sue crazy. Grow up and be a parent. Talk to your ex and his fiance. Work it out like grown folk. If you run to court every time you get your knickers in a bunch, the court is not going to take you seriously when you really need them. Not to mention, you are setting a terrible example for your kids. You should be teaching them how to work towards solutions.
And if you two parents are two immature to work things out, request a meeting with the principal and ask that they keep two folders or only communicate with you and the ex.
Personally, I think, you should just call them and be a grown up and work it out. Whatever happened to adults putting their kids first and their petty rivalry second.

Answer 9

Is she the one who has all the contact with the school and the children? Maybe she just wants your ex to feel involved with all that stuff. (big maybe)

I know I'm the one that does all the correspondence with my boyfriend's son's school. His mom lives in another state and my boyfriend works during school hours. I take him to school, pick him up and deal with all the school stuff. I relay any important information to both parents and nobody has any problem with it. They are just both glad that I am willing to take the responsibility and do for him when they can't.

If you really have that much of a problem with it maybe you should talk to your ex and see what is going on. She may just be doing this for him and he might not know anything about it either.

Answer 10

Just give the school a copy of your legal agreement and a copy to the teachers. When I was married my husband's ex had a fit because I picked up a copy of my step son's report card for a us to have. She was suppose to give us copies of everything and never did. Since you are the custodial parent, you need to talk to the school and tell them what they can and cannot have access to. I would volunteer at my step son's school on my days off and she was very jealous and tried to "ban" me from the school. I wouldn't knock her for trying to be involved with your kids. I know you may feel like she's trying to replace you, but she's not. I still love my step son like he was my own, but he his mom was very jealous. I was always polite and respectful to her. I told her I wasn't trying to replace her role, I was just trying to build a healthy relationship with my step-son. I told her she should be happy that I'm not the "wicked" stepmother to her son, but she just couldn't get over her own insecurities. Cut her some slack and tell your ex and his fiance' that you will give them copies if they want them.