Is it normal to begin to have nothing in common with your friends after you get married?
story:
OK I had 2 best friends one was my age and the other was a year younger. but after i got married and we would go to the mall or what ever they would be all OHH look at that ***, or man he is hot, stuff like that i wasn't into chasing guys anymore i had my man and i was happy. So now that i have been married a few months I have not the first thing in common with them, there in high school im studying at home, they like to shop, i like to save money, you know stuff liek that.
Is it normal that we no longer have anything in common? and do most newly weds go throu this? i am young and married and i am so happy.
2007-09-23 09:15:04 · 12 answers · asked by Mrs. Nolan 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've only been married for a year to my soul-mate. We have a lot of fun doing anything we do. My buddies are all alcoholics that have no respect for women. Her friends are all man-haters. We have both seen this in our friends and we accept it. We are the ones who made the choice to spend the rest of our lives together. I chose her not her friends. Love one another with all your heart and soul and hang on to his neck. Be loyal to one another and to heck with everyone else they are only background noise. The relationship you build with you soul-mate is the only one that should matter from now on........... well unless you decide to have kids. Then the love for them should trump all others. Well good luck and yes it is normal to find no common links to your once good friends after you get married.
2007-09-23 10:09:05 · answer #1 · answered by Jason G. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's totally normal to have different interests when you're married and your friends are not. But I'd suggest not to forget about your friends or risk losing their friendship (if they're really your BF) 'cause you never know when you'll need a good friend to talk to... right now you're very happy in your marriage, and that's great, but when things aren't perfect anymore, you'll need a shoulder to cry on, and your friends will remember being ignored by you as soon as you got married. Just try to keep in touch and be as nice to them as you've always been, even if you don't go shopping with them as often.
2007-09-23 10:21:08 · answer #2 · answered by MiaMonique 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all too common. Most of the time the best thing a couple can do (either before or right after they marry) is find good married friends....people who have a frame of reference for the types of things you're now going through (or are about to), and people who have a similar value system to yours (namely, the sanctity of marriage). This doesn't mean you HAVE to distance yourself from your single friends, but most of the time this seems to happen spontaneously, though, because you no longer fit comfortably into that group. (It tends to worsen once you have children, because then all you want to talk about is the baby and developmental things he/she does that you find fascinating...but secretly it's getting on their nerves and they can't relate....until they themselves become parents.) It seems sad on the surface, but it's just life, and it all balances out in time.
2007-09-23 09:43:14 · answer #3 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is quite common, and nothing to be concerned about. I would be concerned if you actually had strong common connections/interests with you HS single friends. E/one grows in different directions over time. HS friends are just that. You no longer have like interests. As you may no longer have the same interests as those continuing on to college. We all create our own paths of friendships over time.
I wish you the very best in your marriage, and hope that you remain as content as you are at this point. ;)
2007-09-23 09:26:38 · answer #4 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is completely normal that you no longer have anything in common. You're in different phases in your life now. You are married and are focused in him while your friends are still out looking for a mate. Your interests have changed.. but you can still be friends with them.. just acknoledge the difference and try to find new interests you have in each other.
2007-09-23 09:22:48 · answer #5 · answered by chtnawy2dy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
k well if u married and find ur friends boring or not getting along, make other friends and catch up with the ones you are talking about some times at a cafe or invite them over for lunch/dinner and stuff. maybe even introduce them to your hubby's single male friends, that way they will stop chasing men in the mall. whatdayathink?
2007-09-23 09:21:04 · answer #6 · answered by mama2be 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not so much that you dont have anything in common your just at a differnet point in your life then they are you will reconnect with them maybe again sometime, also try not to be so closed minded even tho you are married enjoy in there fun of looking at men your married not dead.
2007-09-23 09:21:37 · answer #7 · answered by Nessaja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes this is common .you are becoming a responsible adult they are still high school girls.after they mature a little you will be sitting around the kitchen table talking about your husbands faults lol,and how the babies are getting along
2007-09-23 09:24:46 · answer #8 · answered by randall g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, my dear. This entire thing is normal. You have just started on your path to growing up. Just broaden your horizons, more friends will come your way. Good luck!
2007-09-23 10:02:26 · answer #9 · answered by Bekah M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very common- probably happens to everyone. my best friend, like a brother, haven't seen him in years- you'll make new friends
2007-09-23 09:42:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋