Does everyone deserve a 2nd chance?

Question

My husband and I discussed this topic.

If a marriage isn't working out, one partner moves out, and they didn't give their spouse a second chance to fix the problem, is that wrong? Does that make me a b*tch? Because now I'm giving a second chance, and he is telling me that everyone should have one.

Answer 1

yes i believe that everyone deserves that second chance, when things go wrong in a marriage and they always do it is right and fair to give it another chance before moving on permanently. if u don't give them another chance how will u ever know if it would have worked or not?

Answer 2

Unless it's for cheating then I say yes give it a second chance. People do make mistakes or say things out of anger and frustration. But if he gives something that sacred to a marriage such as "making love" then I believe nothing else is sacred. Most things can have a compromise so try and explore every possibility before giving up. You also have to keep your integrity so if it's something you just can't compromise then I don't see what a second chance will accomplish.

So without knowing the problem I hope things do work out for you and your spouse.

Answer 3

I think it depends on what happened.

For example if your husband goes out, rapes a teenage boy, tortures him, and then manages to get just 5 years in jail, does he deserve a 'second chance' when he gets out?

But if the same husband gets drunk one night and ends up kissing some other woman in a bar, you'd have every right to be annoyed, but if it is the only time it ever happened in a 50 year marriage, maybe a second chance would be appropriate.

It really depends on the 'crime' and the people in question. I don't think anyone should have an automatic zero tolerance attitude since that is rarely sensible in life. One has to look at the exact circumstances of what happened and gauge the attitude of the perpetrator.

Answer 4

no one can tell YOU whether the person whom you're dealing with deserves a second chance or not. It's your decision to make, because honestly, I feel like some people don't deserve 2nd chances. They have NO potentiol whatsoever to change for the better so giving them a second chance would be like digging yourself deeper into the hole. For example....cheaters. I (personally) believe..once a cheater always a cheater. There are some personality traits that people can't alter and need to be with people who accept that. I don't respect that soo..to the left to the left, Beyonce said it best. But, on the topic of 2nd chances..if someone did something UNINTENTIONALLY to hurt you and they show great remorse and a great desire to change, then yes by all means give them a second chance. If you decide on something before trying all possible options you're not going to get very far in life. I don't know what your significant other did that made you want him to move out without a 2nd chance, but if that's what you think he deserved then by all means stick with your decision. Put yourself in his shoes...and then decide whether or not you want to give him a second chance.
hope that helped xox

Answer 5

Imagine what life would be like if people did not get second chances. No one is perfect and those who do demand perfection are generally gravely dissapointed.

Marraige is about a lifetime of second chances especially. Often times the "for better for worse part" is misinterpreted because it is not specific. But essentially, it means sticking together through anything and everything. That is why marraige is sacred and beautiful.

Forgiveness is healthier then bitterness and resentment. And forgiving goes hand in hand with second chances.

Answer 6

I same depends on how badly the original problem was. Then again, if someone is truly sorry and can fully recognize their mistakes and learn from them, then they do deserve a second chance. Just let him know that you are going to wary to if he starts heading down the same path again. Keep your eyes open. Some people realize their wrongs during the times of greatest need and when they are full-face with what they have losts. However, once they get comfortable again and move out of that despiration phase, realizing that they have regained what they lost, they have the potential of doing it all over again.
Forgive him this time, especially because if you are married there has to be a few strong reasons that you guys loved each other enough to take that step. However, remember:

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

Answer 7

As long as the problem isn't cheating or cruel abuse, then why not give things a second chance? What, really, do you have to lose? I've messed up some things in my life, and I'm grateful to those who gave me a second chance. For example, I screwed up in college, but now they're giving me a chance to redo things and get my degree. What if they'd said, "Oh no, you tried that once, you failed, go away and serve burgers for the rest of your life you big loser". Then I'd never have the opportunity to prove that I've matured and see the value in what I had and threw away once.

I think, as long as the problem wasn't one that caused irreparable pain, you need to give that person another chance. All of us change as we grow and learn.

Answer 8

Not everyone deserves a second chance. Some things you should never give a second chance on like abuse

Answer 9

No. Well... it depends on the circumstances. I tried giving an ex a second chance after cheating on me. I just couldn't get over how badly he hurt me. He wasn't the same person to me. I dumped him again. But, if it's just arguing and bickering, sometimes a little time apart clears the air and things can get back on track.

Answer 10

I believe that everybody deserves a second chance. I dont know what happened, but if you two can work through it together you should at least give him the opportunity to prove himself to you. Wouldnt you want one if you were in his shoes and really wanted to try again?