Last Tuesday was my 30th birthday. My husband usually forgets, so I reminded him a month ago, and then a week before my brithday.
Tuesday morning he had been up for half an hour, so i said, "aren't you going to wish me a happy birthday?"
he said that I should have reminded him, even though I did. He went to work, and was not home until after 8pm.
He had no card, no presents, no flowers. I always make a big deal out of birthdays for him and our children. I make cakes from scratch, invite family for dinner and buy a persent ahead of time. It really hurts me that on my brithday, I did not get anything. I am not a material person, I just wanted him to show me he cares.
On Friday night I told him how upset I was, and he just blew me off. I was crying because my feelings were so hurt. I figured that maybe he might plan something for the weekend, but now it is Sunday and he has done nothing.
How do I get over this? I feel so alone.
2007-09-23 06:49:08 · 23 answers · asked by julie s 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would tell him everything what you wrote here strait to his face. How old is he? 85-90? Or his head made from wood???
Yes, many people do not care about birth days, but this is different, he doesn't care about you or your feelings. After so many remindings he didn't bother to move a finger.
Also, if you won't tell him that you are upset, doesn't he has eyes to see it himself? Does he see you at all?
What a lazy mind and spirit!!!
I wouldn't wait for his birthday to get some immature revenge, this is your life, your marriage not some kind of game. Till its not too late(?) talk to him, knock to his heart, explain what is going on in your heart. I would openly search for love and talk with him about everything.
There are 2 people in the marriage not just one. You can't do it for both of you, even you'll try hard
2007-09-23 07:52:26 · answer #1 · answered by Bella 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all... I am sorry to hear that you have a piece of crap for a husband. This is just terrible! I am not kidding. There is NO reason why the man that you married can not even remember your birthday, let alone get you something once you do remind him. My advice would be to go to counseling. Maybe he is doing something he is doing something he is not suppost to be doing (i.e. cheating). If thats not the case then maybe he has alot of stress at his job. But I dont really think that is the issue. Bottom line : There is absolutly NO reason this man should treat you like this. **** Luck.
2007-09-23 07:44:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Take yourself to dinner tonight WITHOUT HIM OR THE KIDS!! Call a friend and the 2 of you go celebrate like it was your 21st birthday! And when his birthday comes simply "forget" don't even mention it! I know your feelings are hurt, and you shouldn't play games, but he has to be taught a lesson once and for all!! Teach him how to play by your rules! So go call a friend who can go somewhere on short notice get all dressed and simply say be back and leave the house. Even if you can't find someone to go with you leave for a while anyway. Some men just have to be taught to wake up and look at what they have in front of them!!
2007-09-23 07:24:42 · answer #3 · answered by Shawnie_Girl 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Hello & Happy Belated Birthday!!! I'm alot like you & I 'm fortunate enough to have my husband remember. However, in your situation, I would go get myself a present & tell him you understand he's not the type that cares about birthdays. Or I would have my children or another part of the family remind him of the upcoming event & have a party with him there so he'd be part of the celebration. If he's still not into it I'd have another heart to heart talk with him. At last, if all else fails try to be cold around him not rude & maybe he'll get the message. Good Luck!!!
2007-09-23 07:10:08 · answer #4 · answered by angelitis1 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
men are useless at keeping an eye on the calender for one-off annual things. He might love you, but have forgotten to keep an eye out for that one single day out of the 365. If I were you I would get mad, and sad and go away for a week. Spend time loving yourself and celebrating your existence and make him feel really bad for being so thoughtless, but next year mention your birthday coming up a month before it does. Mention it just once. Then, if he forgets it again after your one, timely reminder it means he doesn't give a fig for you - then leave him.
2016-04-05 21:46:36 · answer #5 · answered by Michele 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happy Birthday!!! I'm sorry your husband is so insensitive. I had a boyfriend like that and it turned out pretty bad. Not only was he insensitive, he was cheating, and ripped me off financially. It's the narcisstic personality; that means vain, self-absorbed, conceited, selfish, etc... Good luck on whatever you decide to do but remember this, is this the kind of man you would want your daughter to be involved with? If not, you shouldn't be involved with him either.
2007-09-23 09:25:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't mention if he's otherwise a good husband or not.
I'm thinking that since you let him know several times that it was important to you and he sees you're upset and crying and he just blows you off...and as of today he still has not acknowledged your birthday OR your hurt feelings...he's probably a jerk all year round. I get the feeling you're used to his insensitivity.....
Call some girlfriends and go out and celebrate with them!
By the way....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
2007-09-23 07:23:52 · answer #7 · answered by ANewLife 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is not good. Turning 30 was an important day for you, and you let him know. He blew you off. You should take yourself to counseling and map out your plan to find happiness. He is in danger of losing you. Does he know that? Does he care?
Take care of yourself. You cannot fill another's cup when yours is empty. You owe yourself a fantastic present, by the way. If asks about it, tell him it's from him.
2007-09-23 07:16:50 · answer #8 · answered by Pamela B 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Well, Happy Birthday!
I've been married a long time and still my husband cannot remember my birthday. But I also learned it was not the Happy Birthday, flowers...it was an acknowledgement that he still loved me. But then I had to be honest with myself and realized he acknowledged me everyday we are married by working to support our family, coming home to us everyday, kissing me on the cheek, holding my hand....it all comes down to all the little stuff he did and basically giving me a birthday gift everyday of our marriage. FYI we have been married 26 years.
2007-09-23 07:04:14 · answer #9 · answered by Itsok 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well you don't, you get him things but he gets you nothing and even forget? Well maybe you should talk to him tell him how big of a deal it is for you. Or just 1 time forget his birthday! This will for sure make him think twice for what has done!
2007-09-23 06:57:50 · answer #10 · answered by lostinlove1919 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋