or forget the traitor's existence no matter how many times he asks forgiveness from you?
2007-09-23 04:49:05 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
I pray a lot and... No I am not ready yet to forgive the people who have betrayed me so much... I just try to deal with it one day at a time... I think I don't have a choice but to make "time" my new friend :)
2007-09-23 10:43:22 · answer #1 · answered by peace♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will never forget a betrayal. It stays with you forever. It's like a wire against a tree. The tree just grows over the wire, and the wire becomes part of the tree. Forgiving is the easy part, forgetting is what is so hard to do. And it's stupid to just pretend it never happened, and that way let it happen again. If you stay with the "traitor" the dynamics of the relationship HAS to change. They have to accept living with someone who doesn't trust them, which is deserved. It's living up to the consequences of their behavior. They can't just say, "I'm sorry", and have life go back to what it was before. It's a new and different life that is then forged, and both parties need to be prepared to make those changes.
2007-09-23 05:36:16 · answer #2 · answered by Lady M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's a bit of a line here. I've had a couple bad experiences, but it really depends on the severity of what they did.
One person was two-faced, and then turned around and said I was the traitor. Mind you, I just understood the situation more than she did and came to a conclusion, and got penalized for it. In no way did I actually 'betray' her.
The other was my ex. He cheated on me, and I forgave him. I've regretted that my whole life. Why? Because he cheated again. He let his friends degrade me, and that's the cause of my self esteem issues now.
If his forgiveness is sincere, though, do give him a second chance. If you think it is fake, I would not personally risk it. Do not hold a grudge against him, just merely tell him that things will not work out and that you are sorry this (relationship/friendship) has to end that way.
It's better to end something and just be on neutral terms, than to forgive and forget, only to have your heart broken and you backstabbed all over again.
... now that I think about it, life just seems like a cycle, doesn't it?
2007-09-23 05:27:14 · answer #3 · answered by Alexandra 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Betraying someone by killing has happened and the renewed soul in the next birth forgave the partner and requested others to do so. This shows that the soul is pure, blissful and peaceful. To bring peace in this worldly life is difficult. A saint can only forgive as his is a ego less soul. If one accepts the crime, then there is a chance to change. Only a real counseling can change the persons view of life. Changing self before the other can only make it permanent.
Philosophy is the result of Psychology.
2007-09-23 07:32:58 · answer #4 · answered by Moni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't be able to forget the traitor's existence. If you try, they will own a part of your mind and force you to re- live the incident over and over via resentment. (Resentment= res-sentiment- to mentally experience again.) You could end up imagining yourself getting even over and over again for years, loosing sleep and getting grey hairs. Meanwhile, the traitor is living happy and free, not even thinking about it. Posting this question on Yahoo could be the initial stage of the resentment.
For your own happiness your best bet is to forgive. I recommend that you confront the person, tell them how you feel, tell them that you forgive them, then move on. You may also want to prey for the scoundrel. At first it's difficult, but you can go through the motions. If you do it every day for a month after the confrontation, you'll be free.
2007-09-23 05:28:49 · answer #5 · answered by almac 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The single most important goal here is to clear your mind of negative thoughts, sensations, feeling and beliefs. This is accomplished by consciously shifting to those which feel better. The reason for this is that the negative ones soon become habitual and lead to dis-ease, physical, mental, or/and spiritual. Probably they already have by the sound of it. Once you have accomplished this transformation to the point that you are feeling such emotions as joy, freedom, love and appreciation, the future will take care of itself. The idea of feeling forced to forgive is a programming which can leave one powerless, so better to forget about that idea until the time is right, when you are in top form.
2007-09-23 05:58:23 · answer #6 · answered by canron4peace 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A person loving us, would never be able to do something "really horrible" to us. If he/she does, it means he/she doesn't love us.
Therefore, what is left to be forgiven???
Yes, I would forgive him but not because I am tender hearted! I would forgive him because I would not mind about him anymore since he never loved me. I would forgive him and never never never forget not him, but the lesson he gave me. We can learn so many things from betrayal...... Only if we are betrayed once, we can be protected ( to some degree..) not to happen again.
2007-09-23 22:16:25 · answer #7 · answered by Alice in Wonderbra 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Remember forgiveness and accepting the person back into your life in the same capacity are two different things. I would try to forgive as soon as possible. But if this was an ongoing pattern of behavior, I would have to take a giant step back from that person. It is a situation that you really don't deserve to have thrown at you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
2007-09-23 15:19:54 · answer #8 · answered by Magic Mouse 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been betrayed many times by people I never thought would. Getting over being betrayed takes a very long time, if ever. They say to forgive is easy but forgetting isn't. It's best to forgive the betrayer, in order to move on in your life, otherwise, you will hold in so much anger & resentment & that's not healthy. Life is way too short to hold grudges. Seperate yourself from those who betray you & move on.
2007-09-23 05:55:46 · answer #9 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Forgive, but you'll probably never forget. You will suffer
and the betrayer will go on their merry way if you don't
sincerely forgive. Why would you want to suffer any more
when you are the victum ? (easier said than done.)
;0)
2007-09-23 05:50:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋