Folks excuse all kinds of scummy behavior by merely calling the acts mistakes. They aren't mistakes- they are deliberate, considered acts. People don't "mistakenly" engage in long term affairs, take drugs, or drink every day by "mistake". The acts are commited on purpose. You stub your toe by mistake. You lock yourself out of your car by mistake. You forget to set your alarm by mistake. You DON'T mistakenly get in bed with somebody, drink like a fish, or have cyber affairs. Are scummy acts different IF they are called mistakes? Why do we lie about what the acts really are?
2007-09-23 02:21:11 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The only people who call these choices "mistakes" are those who have carried them out and got caught!! As independent adults we have the gift of free will and choice. With free will and choice comes responsibility....we are responsible for the consequences of our choices, good and bad......Some people never mature enough to accept responsibility for their behaviour, or the consequences of their choices, preferring instead to plead ignorance, make excuses, call them mistakes or more often than not blame someone else in order to avoid adult responsibility!
2007-09-23 02:29:31 · answer #1 · answered by cautious 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree.
But I guess what they call a mistake is what they based their decision on in the first place.
The choice between confronting the problem and hiding away from it, running away from it, or pretending it doens't exist.
So, that was then they made the first mistake; Because they were weak.
After that, then getting deeper in a lie is much easier than to even think about telling the truth or facing the truth, because, at this point, they know that it's not a mistake any more, it became a choice that they consciously made and so they are left with no excuses.
So, as far as I am concerned, a one night stand can be a mistake, but a long time affair would be more difficult to accept.
Still, for it to go one, there have had to be participants, and even the one who was oblivious about it is somehow responsible.
Was he/ she paying enough attention to the other?
Was he/she also pretending not to know, to notice??
What allowed an affair, a deceit to go on for a long time, if not the cooperation of the one who was being deceived?
Taking the other for granted?? Accepting that everything was perfect when there's no such a thing??
I am not saying that the one who was deceitful always has to be forgiven because he/ she was supported in his/ her vice, but one must always look at circumstances and not just compared experience and apply the same solution to them.
Good luck.
xxx
2007-09-23 03:54:51 · answer #2 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
people make desicions everyday with what they know and more often what they feel. many times these desicions are wrong and it sometimes takes awhile for that person to realize that they made a wrong desicion- they made a mistake. often times when a person gets to this point it is to late- the damage has been done. there are so many things in life that we cannot undo no matter how bad we would like to. everyone makes mistakes including you. some are bigger than others and some hurt more people than others. until you have walked in sone one else's shoes what gives you the right to judge. more than likely you will do something to hurt some one before your life is over and it probably won't be on purpose, so maybe you will call it a mistake and wish you had not done it. or maybe you should just pray that someday everyone will be as perfect as you. i wish we were friends because everyone needs a perfect friend to model themselves after.
2007-09-23 02:48:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
We have become a society that caters to everyone's fragile ego - heaven forbid you hurt someone's feelings by telling them they did anything wrong! People glorify actors who behave badly pretty much all the time (cheating, drugs, etc.) and somehow the average joe thinks this is the way it should be. I agree with you one hundred percent! Too bad there aren't more of you out there - maybe the moral decline of America would slow down a bit if there were!
2007-09-23 03:51:43 · answer #4 · answered by Empress1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because it is hard for people to admit when they are contributing to destructive behavior and do not want to face the consequences of these so called mistakes. No they are not different. Lying is very destructive, irresponsible, sick, pathetic, disrespectful, and the list goes on and on. No one wants to be held accountable for their actions anymore. Hey at least you and I know what they really are, some people need to get a grip on what they are doing. I know I do at times too but I do not call them mistakes, I call them exactly what they are, I call them as I see them.
2007-09-23 02:31:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I consider them to be CHOICES. They maybe horrible choices, but there was always an option. The person always could have made a different choice, regardless of the problems they face. Most use things in their lives as EXCUSES for their own terrible CHOICES.
2007-09-23 10:56:53 · answer #6 · answered by joyh 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes people have a hard time admitting their mistakes but everyone makes them.
rule of thumb for me is do my best to be sincere and honest, admit and learn from my mistakes and don't worry about what other people are doing
truth is, i can't control what other people do or think.
so i just move on.
2007-09-23 02:37:53 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to disagree with your war on the English language. Those things you describe are mistakes. What they aren't is "accidents". Mistakes can be deliberate; accidents cannot.
2007-09-23 03:24:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is an incredible lack of accountability these days. People want to blame their "mistakes" on others or circumstances.
2007-09-23 02:38:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
they lie because to admit the truth that they were responsible it might just be too emotionally painful for them. people don't want to admit that their behaviors and habits are the reason why, they try to avoid taking the blame.
2007-09-23 03:11:40 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋