Hi everyone,
Please Please Please I am really desperate for advice.
Here it is my story and please serious replies only.
I am 30 years old gay guy from the Middle East. I live here in London and I was dating a Scotch Irish gay guy for sometimes who is married but as he said he is separated.
We have been dating for a few months and we had plans to move in together during our relationship he borrowed some money from me and I bought him some stuff which he promised to pay it back also I have stored some of my belongs at his place.
After a trip to USA and he showed his real material, I decided to end it up and asked him to return the money and my belongs.
He promised to do that and later on he started telling lies and he refused to give them back to me and said they were gifts.
Also he sent me some threaten emails and his family started to harass me and threaten me with some nude photos of me being taken inside his house.
I have reported that to the police who for some reasons I don’t know then they haven’t taken it seriously.
I have some receipts for those items but not all of them but everything I bought was bought using credit cards.
What can I do to get my items back and my money?
As he has threaten to get rid of them or give them away to family and relative I have started a website and will publish the whole story online as he has seen using my belongs in different places.
http://www.melbournemews.co.uk
Is it illegal to publish the story on the web?
What can I do? Any advices? Lawyers are very expensive as they charge between 300 to 400 pounds per hour
Please help me
Thank you very much
2007-09-23 01:12:43 · 10 answers · asked by riyad abbas 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Well, see, here's an argument FOR gay marriage: if such an agreement between the two of you existed, you would have a path of legal recourse to get your things back.
The police have better things to do and more than likely find your situation amusing and not worth investigating. No offense to you but these types of situations tend to fall on deaf ears in the police department.
I applaud the fact that you were so trusting and had faith in the belief that he would be willing to turn over your stuff after you decided to call it off. Perhaps his behavior should have been a signal to you when you discovered his "real material" that you should have said nothing, retrieved what you could without raising suspicion and THEN called it off.
I always hate hearing stories like these where someone keeps belongings which they know are not theirs but they do it to "get back" at the person who hurt them. The fact that this jerk has engaged his family to threaten and blackmail you is a further testament that he's NOT a good person. What an ***.
Unless there was some written agreement between you and he regarding terms of "storage" and what was a gift and what wasn't, I'm afraid it's his word against yours and you can probably consider yourself a couple of possessions and dollars shorter. I don't think retaining a lawyer would help because there is no material and legal agreement to enforce. If the balance on the credit cards has not yet been paid, you might be able to report the items as stolen in which case the credit card company may dismiss the charges. Then I'd hire some repo men to go to his house to claim the items and break his kneecaps (just kidding about the kneecaps...) They don't belong to him and unless HE can show proof of purchase, he would have no option than to surrender them. Be prepared, however, that he will probably know it's you that sent the repo guys so your nude photos may end up on the front page of the London Times (he sounds like the kind of person who would lower himself to these levels...)
As trite as this may sound, be thankful that it was only some money and material belongings he managed to steal from you. It could have been your savings account, health or life. I would stop all communication with him and his family, block his email and move on as a slightly poorer yet wiser person.
As long as you change the names of the "characters" and locations in your account, I don't think it would be illegal to publish your story. If he insists on you retracting the story (something HE wants) I'd ask him for a fair exchange: "I retract the story, you return all my money and possessions." And if he says "yes" to this, GET IT IN WRITING AND HAVE HIM SIGN IT IN HIS BLOOD!!! But to be honest, if he were to find the story offensive, it sounds like he'd be the type NOT to take the high road but slash your tires instead. Another good reason for you to have broken it off with him...
Um.. I don't know if this will help but there is a group here in the states named Lambda Legal. They deal with human rights issues but they may be able to direct you to a related or similar group in the UK that deals with LGBT cases like yours.
I am so sorry for you. I hope you can put this behind you and be able to trust again.
Good luck and here's to hoping the good guy wins in the end!
2007-09-23 01:58:13 · answer #1 · answered by HMFan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lawyers are not that expensive at least not local ones aren't and most of them will give half and hour free advice. There is also law centres and CABs. Having said that I would be very careful what you publish anywere. If you have receipts and a list I would suggest a letter to the man telling him that unless these items are returned with 14 days you will sue him for the value. If then does not return them go to the county court and the staff will give you the forms and advise you on how to complete them. ( Not legal advise you understand) then you issue proceedings for the recovery or value of you property
2007-09-23 09:19:42 · answer #2 · answered by Maid Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the items that you bought him are that important to you then take him to small claims court for them. But to be honest you probably wont get them because you guys were in a relationship and more than likely they will be considered gifts.
About the money - do you have proof that it was a loan and not a gift? Letters with his signature, witnesses, etc.? If so they you can get this through small claims court.
About the pictures - make it clear that if he hands those pictures out you will sue him. He does not have your permission to give the pictures out and therefore he is taking away your rights. Then go to small claims court and sue for those pictures.
You could also get an restraining order against him and his family that makes it impossible for them to contact you with threats and such. If you ask the police might even accompany you to get the pictures. I doubt they will help with the money and gifts items though.
2007-09-23 08:30:31 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Nobody 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, I can't answer this on the grounds of not knowing the other persons involved story to this. On your behalf though, you must gather as much witnesses and receipts and evidence as much as possible to defend you and open a case at the courts. What you have to think of is the judges point of view and prove what you are saying is what happened. A judge may think, 'how do we know you did not give him the items in question as a gift and kept those receipts incase the gift was broken.'
This is the kind of things you must prove.
Good Luck!
2007-09-23 08:27:15 · answer #4 · answered by N00B154 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could go through the Small Claims process but in my opinion, I'm sorry to say, you don't have a strong case. Demonstrating that "he said he was going to give the money back" is not going to be easy unless he confirms it.
I'm very sorry, I hope I'm wrong about this but it seems you'd be better off forgetting about it...
2007-09-23 10:12:49 · answer #5 · answered by the purple duck 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget about him and his money. Move on and find somebody younger.
I seem to like those from over that way at the moment. I have this friends, I think she is welsh. All the accents sound the same to me except the irish which i can pick up well.
2007-09-23 08:22:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know ur quite a fool cos if i were u then i would forget this guy and forget the money and move on. I GREATKY agree with the first answerer so either give me or him 'best answer'
2007-09-23 08:36:22 · answer #7 · answered by Y!@n$werer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
modify your story a little bit and start printing it up and start posting it all over his neighborhood. I'd even put his address on it. Shame him.
it's not illegal what you are doing. What he is doing is.
get a lawyer. sounds like a lot of money.
2007-09-23 09:34:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to the small claims court. Gather every bit of evidence you can find. (receipts etc)
2007-09-23 08:22:09 · answer #9 · answered by lilmissdisorganised 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to fight when U R a minority
2007-09-23 09:47:04 · answer #10 · answered by yusdz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋