In other words, he's seen a woman that's so physically attractive to him that he's having sexual thoughts and fantasies about her. How would you react to that scenario?
2007-09-23 01:04:00 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hey starfish, read Whitney's answer and get a clue.
2007-09-23 01:19:10 · update #1
This didn't happen to me. (I'm a single male) It's a hypothetical question for women to see how they handle their husbands being open and honest with their feelings.
I'm glad I asked the question because the answers let us know how insecure, ignorant and selfish SOME females can be. And they wonder why their guys won't open up about their feelings.
2007-09-23 02:08:48 · update #2
Not knowing your husband, who can say?
Is he testing you to see if you are receptive to the idea?
Is he warning you that he is thinking hard about cheating, so you can 'save' him from it?
Is he wanting you to be more like 'the type' that turns him on visually?
Do you need to add some excitement and mystery to your relationship with him? (You be the 'other woman' and meet him out, wear your alter ego, and do things in places you have never dreamed of)
2007-09-23 01:17:19 · answer #1 · answered by Rev. Deb 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well I'd wonder why I was married to someone who was so spineless that they couldn't just come right out and say what they meant.
If he was trying to say that he wasn't happy with our sex life then I'd suggest that he spit it out and say what he wants to change rather than being all pathetic and snide about it and basically threatening to go and shag someone else.
If he was trying to say he's still attracted to other women, fair enough. If he didn't still find other women attractive I'd say that was abnormal and there's nothing wrong with looking or with fantasies. But if he's waiting for a pat on the back for not cheating he'd be waiting a long time!
If the wife is so unattractive that he can't bear the thought of touching her anymore, hence the fantasies about this mystery woman, and if sex is more important than companionship in his marriage then he should just be honest and leave, then he can indulge his fantasies to his heart's content and stop making his wife feel inadequate and unwanted.
What I'm trying to say is if you're not happy with your sex life then talk to your wife about it - I very much doubt that she's psychic! And maybe you'd be surprised to find that she wouldn't mind spicing things up either! If you just don't fancy her anymore and there's no more to your relationship than that to you then I really think it's time to walk away.
If you feel you deserve some kind of prize for respecting your marriage vows (look, I fancied that girl, but I kept my .... in my trousers, aren't I great!) then perhaps you shouldn't have got married in the first place...?
2007-09-23 02:13:58 · answer #2 · answered by Nixf 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would be very hurt but I'd at least feel glad that he felt he could be HONEST with me. If I were you, I would just allow him to be honest....if you react by slamming him, then he'll never be encouraged to share his true feelings again. It's rough. Look, it's natural for a married person to still notice sexually desirable people....but it's another for them to KNOW of a particular person and then fantasize about her all the time. If this is someone he works with, the best thing he could do is just try to stay away from her.
2007-09-23 01:14:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
In the first place, its normal react negatively or by shouting at him. But the truth is that he loves you and he is just trying to make fun with you. Do not border to take him serious except you know he do behave funning sometimes.
Besides, try to find out why he want it that way if really you believe he mean what he has said so that you will do your best to convince him you worth what you are and you can do better that what he thought is your limite especially in love making and sexual pleasures. Believe me, doing so will make him to have a second thought and change his mind and he will love you the more.
2007-09-23 01:33:03 · answer #4 · answered by felix4aho 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. I would be shocked by his confession and hurt.(that would be my first reaction , then i would calm down and do the following).
2. I would ask him what was wrong.
3. I would ask him what we needed to do to fix our relationship . Obviously some thing must be wrong if he wants to go out there and cheat.
4. I would remind him of our marriage vows.
5. I would be amazed that he felt comfortable enough to come to me and confess that he was attracted to another woman and having sexual thoughts.
6. We would have a very long discussion until we came up with some kind of solution to this problem. He may not get any sleep until we do.
7. I would let him know that him cheating on me is unacceptable......
8. It's one thing to be attracted to another person of the opposite sex . What i have a problem with is if he would go out and actual have affair with another woman.
2007-09-23 01:30:11 · answer #5 · answered by Precious 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would definitely be thankful that he told you rather than just going ahead and doing it. People are sexual creatures and while I can't speak for women, men at least can't stop looking at other women. I don't know how he told you, but if he was just trying to be honest, then it sounds like you are in a good marriage. People should be open about their sexuality with their partner.
2007-09-23 01:46:57 · answer #6 · answered by GW 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i would be glad i knew ahead what was in his heart, and know that there was a good chance he would cheat because if he is lusting after others maybe he did not find me attractive anymore. i would be planning my future and getting ready for the worst to happen, but at least i would know and would not be so surprised if it did happen. i might even want to consider divorce because i would know that he would one day fall to temptation because he is mistaking love for lust and it would not be anything i would feel comfortable staying in or trusting.
2007-09-23 03:43:18 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well At least he is up front about it.Maybe he's trieng to say lets spice up the sex life.Talk to him about what will get him over this.Wow be glad your hubby has big balls to be honest.Key word.Hasn't done it yet.My husband and i made a decision that if we ever got that itch we would talk open and honest about it and go from there.
2007-09-23 01:14:21 · answer #8 · answered by lollypop 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If he said this to me he is really saying something else. We ARE sexual creatures but thats no excuse to hurt someones feelings. You should word it differently, share the other person in the sexual tryst, or just cheat on the person behind their back and live with it. I would not want to live with that on my conscience but its just as bad to make someone else live with it too.
2007-09-23 11:14:07 · answer #9 · answered by Sepiatone01 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would ask him if he wanted a divorce and a huge settlement plan! Is he nuts?? as the saying goes, JUST SAY NO! And worse, if he wants to "share" the experience run to a lawyer fast!!
2007-09-23 01:24:10 · answer #10 · answered by chefddr 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋