what do you think of people who leave the parents in old homes?

Answer 1

It's not always an easy decision to make but sometimes old people need the kind of care that can only be found in a home..........

Answer 2

In U.S. society it is sometimes a case of nescessity to place an ailing parent in a skilled nursing facility due to what I think of as "the sandwich syndrome."

Think about a married couple with one child or more. It will take 2 incomes to make ends meet and the children are placed in daycare so that both parents can work. Now add to this an elderly parent that needs care and around-the-clock medications. It is often more than can be accomodated for while raising children. The elderly can also be combative and verbally abusive depending on their mental state and may not even be suitable in a household with children.

I guess the best case scenerio for keeping an ailing parent at home would be if family members WERE able to be home all the time instead of at work and if the elderly person were in control of enough of their mind to function somewhat. Unfortunately this is not always the case and the elderly end up in a sterile nursing environment. People are able to live a lot longer than they used to physically due to medicines and medical care though the mind has long since gone.

Unfortunately families dont even visit the elderly in the nursing homes because it doesnt even matter, the elderly dont know who they are anyway so people go on with their lives and wait for the ailing parent to die assuring themselves that the nurses will take care of the soiled underclothes and bathing and feeding.

Even then, that is not always the case. Nursing homes, while not entirely bad, do loose track of the "quiet" patients. The old lady who is quiet, cooperative and will allow herself to be washed, lifted from bed and be put into a chair to sit for the day is the one who will end up with ulcers on the backside from sitting or simply starve because nobody notices that she is not eating when wheeled to the dinner table.

It is a sad vicious circle in this society. The need for dual incomes has practically made taking care of an elderly parent at home a thing of the past. Also Generation-Xers are not generous enough with themselves to give that kind of care--they are the "me generation" and lack the capacity to care for anyone else in a self-denying manner. It is a shame but a very real situation for many elderly now.

To answer the question, I dont fault those who place ailing parents in old folks homes, often it is nescessary because there simply is no one at home available to care for the elderly. I would be in the same situation myself when it comes to my parents.

Answer 3

Very bad decision and unacceptable, unless the person hasn't been grown by these parents, it means the person doesn't has got affection during the life to these parents. So, it's possible that some old home can take care better than the sons. And also when the parents had been bad parents, had done their sons to suffer and at bad situation every time without doing nothing to change it.

Answer 4

I don't think people wake up one morning and just decide, OK lets put Dad in a home. I know a lot of sole searching takes place, and it is a very hard decision to make. It is all very well for some to say, "everyone should take care of their parents" but sometimes that is just not possible for lots of different reasons. At the end of the day, it has to be what is best for the welfare of the old person. But it is never an easy decision to make.

Answer 5

People who leave parents in old age home do it for various reasons. If the children are working abroad and parents are unwilling to live with them, the placement is justified. Some parents also do not adjust to situations in life and remain adamant that they are right and abuse the children without reason and in front of others. In that case also placing them in orphanage is justified. But considering parents who have brought them with tender care and self-sacrifice, as rejects and commit them to old age home is a deadly sin for which they will pay a heavy price in their life. I believe that more than the blessings of GOD, the blessings of parents ensure peace and harmony for their children in their life. I believed so; acted accordingly and now enjoys the blessings of God through my late parents' blessings.

Answer 6

Do you mean a home that is old or do you mean that outdated phrase "old people's home."
I have noticed our culture in today's society have absolute o respect or care for the elderly if they are considered incompetent or not, which brings me up to the concept that the restructuring of the laws concerning the elderly is a moral imperative. The elderly have no rights even thou are laws and advocates claim they do.
I HOPE I DIE BEFORE I GET OLD
9 Times out of Ten their children cannot be bothered with their ever so important life and would rather have their elderly parents out of the way, abused and abandoned, so they can can count their inheritance money while their parents are still alive. Forgive me if I sound rash, I have had enough of self absorbed, painfully arrogant, children of the elderly who, if their parents were younger, would bend them over there lap and give them what they deserve for treating them the way they do, and for lacking any moral fiber.

Answer 7

It only goes to show how selfish and self centered people have become.
It is a trend which is being followed by the present generation who have little or no respect for their parents but think and justify they are doing a great help to them in their old age.

It would be a better option to employ a nurse to look after them at home itself if such people don't have time or inclination to do it themselves.

Answer 8

I cannot judge them all but i have seen how some of these places are run..I used to visit this lady cuz her own daughter was too busy to visit her MOM (i am not related,just an acquaintance). I would go once a week after work to sit and talk, and listen to her stories..Her room floor was always dirty and i would find pills on the floor and give them to the nurses...their reaction was..."No tellin how long those have been there" i was furious, my thought would be to find out what they are and see what pills she has not been taking..and why is her floor not cleaned?? I could go on but i won't..I will never put any of my family in this type of home, ever...

Answer 9

Unless they are immobile and have to be lifted by some means or in critical medical condition, I would never put anyone in a nursing home. I took care of my mother and father in law, driving 12 hours to get to them. I would stay as long as I could, cleaning their home, making sure they had sufficient food in the cupboards, a cleaning service to come in once a week, transportation to their doctor's appointments, everything I could possibly do to make them comfortable. I had four children to take care of, so needless to say, it wasn't easy. They wanted to remain in their own home, and my husband and I honored their request. They passed, and I have no regrets. I would hope my children would do the same.

Answer 10

I think they should be ashamed of themselves. Their parents had brought them up with so much love and care but they can't look after them until they 'leave' which won't even be that long... I would never do that to my parents!