I am pregnant, separated, and have an upcoming ultrasound which my husband is taking me to. The biggest problem in our relationship is the lack of sex, mostly on my part, I had brain surgery which did something to diminish my sex drive, since I have become pregnant i want sex more. For the first three months of pregnancy I was told by dr not to have sex, and then the seperation came about. I want to have sex with him on the day I see him to go to the doctors, I have always been very reserved in this department and need to know how exactly to get him back into bed with me on that day. I am very self consciencious in this area, but I love my husband and want to make our relationship work, talked to him today and he said he loves me, but feels as though we are more like friends and that I have no interest in him sexually.
2007-09-22 23:03:27 · 12 answers · asked by Jami K 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh, Jami, time for some fun.
Definitely dress great and wear your makeup. When he picks you up, at an appropriate place in the conversation, compliment him. "Joe, you look great in that green shirt today."
You can tell him you appreciate that he wanted to share in this moment.
Ask what he's doing after.
Ask him if he would like to stay for a bit.
Next time you see your gyn make sure and let him know you are experiencing and increased sex drive. Make sure he knows about the brain surgery.
Your body is full of hormones and who knows what else right now, while the baby is forming.
Either something your brain or body is producing, is giving you that lift.
See if he can figure out if maybe you're not producing enough Progesterone or Testosterone or something when not in a pregnant state.
Meanwhile, do try to enjoy this window of time.
Then, when the sex drive drops again, and it will after not sleeping for weeks on end once the baby comes, then you remember what this was like.
Understand that if you lose your sex drive again, your man's is not going to go away based on that. He still wants you.
Plan on indulging him when he wants you.
Not having a sex drive does not mean you do not have sex. It just means, sometimes, you just make the effort and give the man a half an hour. You still love him, right? You'd bring him home a steak, or a beer if he asked, right? Well, he doesn't want a steak or a beer, he wants you.
Just go with the flow, love him the best way you know how, and little baby will have a lovely mommy And daddy.
I wish you luck, dear..
And God bless you and yours.
2007-09-23 01:05:14 · answer #1 · answered by Puresnow 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh Hun I am sorry that you are going through all this. I know that when I was pregnant my sex drive was in overdrive I could not get enough.LOL anyway, I would just explain that it is not your fault that you lost interest in sex you had Major surgery. sometimes hearing this from an outsider helps the person to understand that you are going through allot, its not like you want to have non existent sex life, this affects you just as much as it does him. I would talk it over. As for getting him back into bed, I don't think it would be too hard since men love sex and seeing that he still loves you and you are carrying his child. Go all out on yourself, get you hair and nails done, get yourself some nice maternity lingerie, they are some real sexy ones out there for pregnant woman and if you succeed and get him back into your bed, let yourself go and let him know what he could have if he decided to come back. I also suggest that you talk to your doctor and see if they can't put you on a medicine after you have the baby to up your sex drive a little more. Good luck and good Luck with the pregnancy, I really hope that you can work it out for the sake of your family and that he can be alittle bit more understanding of your situation.
2007-09-23 05:15:58 · answer #2 · answered by happytree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since this is your husband there are no boundaries on sex and how you go about it. I would suggest just going for it. Don't ask, and don't discuss it. Be spontaneous! When he goes to drop you off at home, tell him to come in because you have to show him something. When you go inside, come on to him. Kiss, touch or whatever he likes. Make sure it is very passionate. Don't wait for him to reciprocate the actions. After enough stimulation from you he will not have a choice but to succumb if he is a bit reluctant. Show him that you can be sex kitten! Don't stop and don't give in to your self consciousness, you may have to get yourself mentally ready first. So on the way home, shift your mind into sex drive. I know exactly what you mean about being reserved on that subject. I was like that before as well, but I had to train myself to just let go when I am with my husband. Just lose control with him, he's your husband, not just some guy or a boyfriend. You should not be afraid to try new things with him.
2007-09-22 23:18:00 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs. T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I need to say this...if your husband left you for "lack of sex" AFTER you had brain surgery...not to mention you're pregnant and couldn't...WAIT, how did you get pregnant?
Ok nevermind that...these are things out of your control, he should've been more understanding and given you a little time to heal. I'm not sure about the vows you spoke, but mine included better or worse and now that you want him, he's missing out because he chose to leave. I'd make him come back to the home before I gave in....that bastard!
2007-09-22 23:14:45 · answer #4 · answered by kristilkleer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shall try to attract him just a sthe first-timers do.Invite him to ur home(if he does not live with u) and prepare urself in good clothes,that he likes.Try to exhibit sth like boob line,etc. Then have a good meal and afterwards,kiss him and then make some advances.This wil surely turn him ON.U can also give him a card~"Miss you-stay wel".This will add to the fire.Good luck!
2007-09-22 23:16:06 · answer #5 · answered by Asad K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have sex with your man. It is the easiest rule to keep a man. You can be a royal pain in the behind, but if you take care of him in this arena, and are loyal, I promise you have a VERY GOOD chance of keeping him this time...as long as he is loyal and faithful and loves you like you seem to love him.
Good luck with your growing family! Be a good mom, too! This is a HUGE TURN-ON for men...being a good mother.
2007-09-22 23:14:26 · answer #6 · answered by Mike H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it's your fault there is no sex in your relationship and your husband is leaving because of that, then why don't you tell him that the operation you had, has brought your sex drive back! He should then reconsider his future with you? Right!
2007-09-22 23:13:41 · answer #7 · answered by wheeliebin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you want to have sex, he's a man he'll jump at the chance.
2007-09-22 23:10:41 · answer #8 · answered by rey1101 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believ that is LUST and not LOVE!
If you really love your husband then respect to his wishes. He loves you very much and does not want to hurt your baby!
Congratulations!...Keep trying.
2007-09-22 23:14:07 · answer #9 · answered by redzonecash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him does he have any idea how you got pregnant?
2007-09-22 23:59:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋