We are not involved, but he is a good friend to me too. He understands me better than my husband and is always there to cheer me up. He is attracted to me too because I can see it in his eyes. Whenever we are left alone the tension becomes very apparent but nothing happens. He tells me how beautiful I am in front of my husband and my husband even says we should be married because we are so alike. It is frustrating because my husband has not given me sex for 4 years now. I feel like leaving town.......
2007-09-22 20:36:10 · 17 answers · asked by Angel2007 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is not trying to cut in on the marriage... he leaves me alone and we have gone shopping a couple times...and we have been able to control ourselves. He and I agree it would not be a good idea to pursue, but it is hard because his presence is so frequent in my life.
2007-09-22 20:48:07 · update #1
I guess the main problem is how do I get rid of these feelings? My husband sees how we look at each other and laughs about it. My husband does give me affection and tells me he loves me but the sex just doesn;t happen. He is my best friend....
2007-09-22 20:52:46 · update #2
At first I thought it was the lack of sex that made me crazy for him because of the attention, but there have been other guys that have propositioned me and it never effected me. I had no desire to cheat on my husband with any of them. This man is different and it scares me tha way I feel about him : (
2007-09-22 21:17:00 · update #3
You poor thing, I really feel for you! What you are feeling is nothing to feel guilty, or ashamed about. The fact that your husband has not made love to you in 4 years will make you feel unloved, and its natural that you will seek reasureance from someone else.
What I would say is either ask your husband to come to marraige counselling. or if he refuses, leave. You deserve so much more from a marraige. But dont leave him for his best friend... Leave for you. Good luck x
2007-09-22 21:50:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There was a lot of talk years ago about 2 couples who were best friends. They hung out all of the time but they seemed mismatched. Each got along better with the other spouse. They decided to swap wives. Lots of people laughed and talked. MEANWHILE, everytime the one Dad coached he always won because of the boys of both families. He has his son and stepsons and all were allstars. Now, 10+ years later, everyone is still married and very happy. I see them at the high school games (they all play on the varsity together). One still plays but the other boys are doing other things. It is not as far fetched as you might think. Maybe you should ask your husband if he is serious. Would he mind, since the two of you don't have sex, if you were to have sex with the friend? You might just find out that your husband really doesn't care if you divorce and marry the friend. Then he still gets to see both of you but he can find someone he has more passion for as well. You also might find that the friend has been talking to your husband about the same thing.
2007-09-23 03:46:40 · answer #2 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is natural to have those feelings and be troubled in mind as far as love and affection and the law of attraction are concern. But remember that if you are legally married to your husband and his best friend is aware of this, well this is a big temptation and you must not give up to it becasue it will ruine you, your future, your diginity, respect and joy.
My suggestion is this, find out the reasons why your husband have refused you sex for four years not four days or months, its sound unbelievable that a husband will not make love to his so-called wife for 4 years yet you call him "my husband", is he leaving outside your country and he has not returned for those four years or how. Find time and resolve with your husband. Tell him you are sex starve and that you are running out of patience. Let him understand how you feel and show him you really need his love and care. If he respond positively to you, believe me you will never have desire for his best friend again because you will value you marriage and your husband diginity and respect will be put forward before any other person (man). Good luck.
2007-09-23 04:17:15 · answer #3 · answered by felix4aho 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No sex for four years?!!!??? You poor thing, your reasoning is clouded by hormones. Any man who pays you some attention is going to make you feel like busting out of your undies. But before you do....
You might be frustrated but think about the reasons (apart from the best friend) that keep you with your husband. Are you still there because you still love him?
Do you know why your husband hasn't given you sex? Is it possible, if he has performance problems, for him to show his love for you by pleasuring you? If it is a medical problem, is it curable? Have you talked about it? I suggest you work on that aspect before you seek pleasure somewhere else.
Your husband may make those comments because he is aware of the attraction but wants to be proven wrong and he is using some reverese psychology to convince himself he's not losing both his best friends.
Good luck, it's not an easy situation so don't take the easy way out.
2007-09-23 04:08:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you haven't had sex from your husband for 4 years, almost any man who hangs around for long enough will seem attractive! I hope you have discussed your sexual problems with your husband. Even the most disabled can do some sexual things. If you and your husband are not even having some good cuddles, you should leave. Look around at what is out there and start datiing. If you can't forget your husband's best friend, then give him a chance. It can't be doing your self esteem any good, to have your partner not find you attractive enough to even give you a back rub.
2007-09-23 03:47:41 · answer #5 · answered by wemblania 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you attracted to him ?
You haven't had sex with your hubby, maybe you start fantasizing without you realize it.
And you feel you have attracted to him.
Elderly people say when we meet a man and he even could say something sweet while we are a wife of a husband, we need to question the quality of this man. Just gonna end up having an affair and he doesn't need to take a responsibility.
You need to solve your problem with your husband first.
Be carefull,...neighbourhood grass always look greener than your own yard.
Before something bad happen you need to think thoroughly and pondering it.
So you won't regret at the end.
2007-09-23 04:21:36 · answer #6 · answered by maysie64 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy trying to cut in on a marriage always makes sure that he is seen as more understanding, caring, listening, and complimentary than the husband.
2007-09-23 03:43:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're married to your hubby. So try to fix it. As for your hubby's friend, it's kind of like new love. Everything is nice in the beginning but when things rock your relationship is going to get tested. Don't do it or you'll regret it!
2007-09-23 03:43:02 · answer #8 · answered by tofu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FOUR YEARS?? Why? Is he unable to? This may be the unpopular opinion but I think you are within your rights to leave him and find someone else. If my husband didn't give me sex for four years, he wouldn't be my husband anymore and that's real.
2007-09-23 03:54:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitly have sex with this friend. If its love get a divorce and then do it. How can U survive without sex for 4 yrs??
2007-09-23 03:48:09 · answer #10 · answered by dhaka_123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋