My boyfriend of 3 yrs cheated on me while I was pregnant and so we broke up a month before our baby was born. Now, 6 months later he's being all sweet and tells me he still loves me and wants to be a family with us. He tells me he misses me and that he's so happy when he's with our baby and I (he works out of town and is gone 2 wks out of the month). I was ready to forgive him and try to make it work for our daughter's sake but I just found out he's seeing someone but haven't confronted him on it yet. I know my baby and I deserve so much better than this loser so I know I need to get him out of my life. I won't keep him from seeing his baby, but I'll have to have someone else there as I do not want to fall for his BS anymore. I get stupid and weak around him. What is wrong with this jerk? I feel like he's won or something. I don't want him to be happy with this other woman. How can he tell me he loves me, that he's so glad that I'm the mother of his baby and that I'm so amazing and
2007-09-22 19:33:01 · 24 answers · asked by J-doll 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
beautiful and be with someone else? Anyone have any advice on what I should do? Will he do the same to her? This sucks!
2007-09-22 19:34:00 · update #1
Also, I want to add that when he's around his baby he cries because he says he loves her so much. He's really good to her but I don't think he's told his family or friends that he has a baby because they haven't asked to see her. I don't think his family knows she even exists. I am so disgusted by this as she is so beautiful. Why would you want to hide the fact you have a beautiful baby? When I met him back in 2003, I was warned by someone he knew that he cheats on all his girlfriends but took it as a jealous ex-girlfriend trying to cause crap. He's so freakin' charming, it's hard to believe this guy is just sick in the head!!!!
2007-09-22 19:49:32 · update #2
...and it's not that he doesn't want to pay child support, I've told him I want nothing from him but he insists on giving me $500.00 a month.
2007-09-22 19:51:31 · update #3
sounds like a good guy really, its only sex don't be so up tight ask him to take you to a swingers party, that way its not cheating
some people need more than one partner doesn't mean they are evil or wrong, except him for what he is, plus you have a lot of fun and make loads of new friends
2007-09-28 02:48:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is seeing someone else and hiding it from you, he is already cheating again.
What is wrong with this jerk? He is a father now and when he is around you and his daughter, he may feel like he wants to be a family. Maybe he thinks it's the right thing to do and that's why he tells you what he says. It's a male instint to care for their family and you will always be his.
When he is not with you, he is seeing someone else. I imagine that he has an uncomplicated unattached relationship with the other woman. I say that because, obviously they don't have a child. So, she can provide him with something that he may want and think he needs.
It's common for guys to want it all. They want the family life and the uncommited relationship on the side. Who knows why they do it, but you shouldn't settle for this man.
If you really want to be with him, then you need to set boundaries with him. Let him know it's unacceptable for him to see other people if he wants to be a family. If he can't do that, then you should let him go.
2007-09-22 23:08:11 · answer #2 · answered by torn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing, Do not over text her. She will get annoyed and if you keep telling her "TAKE ME BACK I LOVE YOU." Learn here https://tr.im/JzqIQ
She will not want you even more. You need to show her that you don't need her and can live your life without her. She still cares about you I am sure. Maybe try "flirting" with other girls around her to make her jealous. I know its bad, but if i saw my ex flirting with someone else it would make me REALLY ANGRY. However, you still need to show her you care about her too. Show her what she's missing and remind her of it. Be confident and don't show your broken heart. Try ignoring her? Girls hate that. You want her to come to you. Once she does this YOU have all the power.
She will realize what you mean to her and she will hopefully come crawling back. (I am in the same situation as you, except I am the girl trying to get my ex back). Try not to be so clingy and give her space. But try to be around so she sees you, but don't talk to her much. Keep convos short and if you txt her, which you shouldn't, then also keep it short and bland. This will be hard to do because you just want to let her in your life again, but you can't. If you show her that you are desperate to get her back, she won't go for it. Make her come to you and REMIND her of all that she is missing out on. Hope this helps. And trust me, I know how you feel. Girls usually come around easier than guys so you should be lucky. ughh wish i could say the same.
2016-07-19 21:26:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You buy his b.s because first off because that's what you want to believe and second you don't seem to have much self esteem. He is all loving around the baby because he knows that will get to you. You need to wake up and smell the coffee. He is a loser. He always will be. You deserve better and your baby deserves better. Children have a tendency to seek out others that mimic their parents. Do you want your daughter to grow up and be with a guy who is going to lie and cheat on her? Find someone who is going to treat you with the respect you deserve and show your daughter what a real man is supposed to be like. And if he is willing to pay child support take it by all means. She is his responsibility too. Good luck.
2007-09-28 22:23:42 · answer #4 · answered by Angela C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart aches for you. I have been there. I think he will cheat as long as he wants to, and NOTHING you do will make him stop. There is a chance that he will realize that he doesn't want to lose you, there is also that same chance that he will feel that same way about the other woman. What I am trying to say is ...find a way to make yourself happy, don't let him control your mood. Get out and make new friends and find new interest. Eventually you might find that you have no idea why you wanted to be in a relationship with him in the first place.
2007-09-30 15:15:27 · answer #5 · answered by replexgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The old saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder!" is an lie started by people that spend time working away from home. BUT it is true that "Out of sight, Out of mind!" This is not the first man with 2 households. The only way to win is:
1. child support
2. alimony
3. find someone to love and treat you right and make you happy.
This is the way to win. Good Luck.
2007-09-22 20:02:24 · answer #6 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie.....the only posible answer to this whole thing is.....he's a man and that's his nature and he will always be that way. I am certainly not defending him in any way, shape or form but once a cheater.....always a cheater.
I'm sure he really is sincere when he says loves you and the baby but that has nothing to do with the nature of cheating. Good luck.
2007-09-30 15:13:42 · answer #7 · answered by lacrosselover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experiances, once a cheater always a cheater. My ex husband was a repeat offender. He always had to have several girls on the side. The twisted part, the girls knew he was married and didn't care. He thought it would be okay to have a wife and several other baby mamas.
2007-09-22 19:43:12 · answer #8 · answered by Lexie J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you have your relationship on the right track. What happens between him and her is irrelevant to you. I would put money on the fact he will do it to her. Their whole relationship began of deception. He's done it with you for little consequence. What lesson has he learned? None other than the fact that he can chase whatever he likes.
You'll never figure out his logic.
2007-09-22 19:56:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have some advice from experience. Men generally do not end up with the person they cheat with statistically speaking. And from my own experience I have been approached with apoligies and "please let me come back's" from ones who have cheated. Put your foot down right now and take care of your child and yourself. If you let him back in your life you are denying that one perfect person for you the opportunity to meet you. Have a great life. That is the best revenge.
2007-09-22 19:41:03 · answer #10 · answered by theartisttwin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋