my mom nd dad sepertaed when i was three i rember some of the fighting but not all of it and now that im 12 i am strting to realise that i miss having a dad or i want one at least but i dont want a step one, i want my dad but my mom is like why would you want him around you he never pays for you or child support but i still miss having a fatherly figuer around what should i do?
2007-09-22 17:52:31 · 5 answers · asked by melanie p 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
ps he lives aross the us
2007-09-22 17:59:05 · update #1
try talking to him first.
to decide whether you really want him around or not.
i went through this.
i didn't see my dad for six years and i started to miss that fatherly figure,
after talking to my dad ... i changed my mind.
2007-09-22 18:02:17 · answer #1 · answered by imkreep 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Part of growing up at around 12 is figuring out who we are. One way of doing that is looking at our parents and seeing what we got from each of them in our personality. Without your dad around, you can't really do that. I think that may be a big part of what you're feeling.
Getting to know someone from across the country is tough. You might try writing him a letter, just a short "It's been 9 years, I'd like to know something about you and your side of the family" couple of paragraphs. I hope that he answers.
Some of what you're feeling too is the absence of a dad around the house. We all learn how to fall in love, and act around people by watching our parents. Or we're supposed to anyway, my parents divorced too so I know what you are going through NOT having that around. It's hard.
I hope the letter idea might work for you. Best of luck, and always feel free to ask here for advice. Some of us went through the same stuff, we'll help the best we can.
2007-09-23 07:29:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey sometimes folks can't get alone its too bad but there are worse tings living with a man that isn't in love with your mom and this is one case. you can use and uncle or her brother or soemthing to use for your dad it does not hav to be your real dad. sometimes its best to leave it alone. the father you know you are hardly know him and i can bet there was reason he was like he was. he didn't care and she knew it and therefore she had to draw a line and keep you safe so just take care and don't wish for what is not going to happen.
2007-09-26 21:26:07 · answer #3 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like there's nothing you can do. my dad died when i was 6 and i'm 14 now....i guess you learn to live without a strong male influence. my suggestion would be to look up to someone else like a grandfather or older brother or maybe even a close friend.
best of luck
2007-09-23 00:59:13 · answer #4 · answered by mle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask to visit him, even if it is just for the day.
2007-09-23 00:57:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋