Last weekend we drove 500 miles on his motorcycle to be with friends. Everything was fine, until he had a little to much to drink.Me too, we started to argue, then I tried to ease the tension and backed away, he was still been mean to me. Anyway he broke the radio and the cell phone, and I started to cry, he said to quit crying that I looked crazy, thats when I really lost it and started to hit him.. We were in the room and I just started to punch him he hit me back, got on top of me and started to bang my head against the floor, i kind of passed out and he left. I was all alone 500 miles away and didin't now anyone, well he came back and we slept, the next morning I was taking a shower and found out I had a gash on the back of my head, he did it. Well we are still together, and he hasn't said "I'm sorry" he thinks it's all my fault. I know I started the fight but he banged my head one to many times, my q. is ( what should I do?) I love him and don't want to leave him.
2007-09-22 17:09:18 · 40 answers · asked by Jess F 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honey trust your instincts this is not normal he owes you an apology big time it is a big red flag that he did not apologize he certainly went overboard you should not stay with someone that treats you like this..are you serious? he could have killed you or caused you a head injury that would cause you some major problems please leave him even if it is for some time because next time he might kill ya after a few drinks. In addition there is no excuse to hit a man also learn to control your impulses.cheers
2007-09-22 17:17:44 · answer #1 · answered by Versacetica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you know the true definition of love my dear. What he did to you it is not only outrageous, but cowardly. You do not have a future with this cockroach, because he is an insect. Only a coward, a sorry excuse for a man do that to a woman. How can you tell us that you love him, are you a masochist? You should have called the cops on him. he committed a crime, it is illegal to hit your wife in this country, don't you know that? And by the way, he is not going to change, he is going to get worse. He might even end up killing you. I'm surprise he didn't kill you with all the violence he portrayed against you this past weekend. Why would you even consider staying with him. As far as I can see, he doesn't love you, if he did, he wouldn't have done what he did. You deserve better than that. You deserve to have a husband that love you and cares for you, a husband that will respect you all the way. It wasn't your fault. Even if you threw the first punch. You just don't hit a woman period. I'm sorry if I appear to be rude to you, but it bothers me to see that women allow this kind of treatment from their partners. Abuse is abuse, no matter what, and women should not allow abuse in any way. I really can't help you at this point, because i know you are not going to leave him, and that saddens me. But I wish you luck.
2007-09-22 17:34:58 · answer #2 · answered by Ricardo R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well...where do I start. My husband and I already had a couple of physical fights too - just as you said, we were moody, had a lot of stress...all this crap and then all of a sudden you lose your temper. Both times I hit him and he did not do anythink at first, but when I bit him and hit him again he hit back...I fell...whatever... The reason I was so aggressive was because I was really really desperate and I assume that is just how your girlfriend feels. You probably did not realize it but you probably play A LOT and she is agnry, sad, desperate...everything at the same time. My husband for example spends soooo much time on his note book, it makes me really angry as well. I know it's his job as a web designer, but still it makes me feel not loved. So the best thing you can do now is just talk to her. Tell her you are sorry for hitting her (although she started). But I think it's easier for a woman to hit a man (doesn't make it right) because she know she can't really hurt him. If a man hits a woman, she is automatically scared, so you should really say you are sorry. Make sure it doesn*t happen again...even if at some point she slaps you again. You are the man, you are a lot stronger, just walk away and cool off. Don*t hit back! Talk to her now, and then put your damn game away for at least month. Show her that you really love her and that you wanna spend time with her. Make her feel special and don't put your hands on that game again. Maybe you have time to play when she is out of the house...it might me hard not to play, but I assume you wanna marry her so stop playing! Hope this helps you!!!
2016-05-21 03:46:59 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was not right for "beating" you- but you attacked him. He had every right to "stop" you from beating him. Sounds like he took it way to far. If he knows he hurt you that badly, and just doesn't give a crap, then he is crap anyway, and you should leave. If this was a one time thing and has never happened before- maybe counseling if he really is sorry.
For all you people who want to criticize what I say-- I do NOT think it is okay to hit your girl!!! I also do NOT think it is okay for your girl to hit you either!
If this has been an abusive relationship in the past (by you or him) then you obviously don't love each other as much as you'd like to think you do, and you should get out while you can.
2007-09-22 17:18:26 · answer #4 · answered by crankyissues 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first of all, this is not a good relationship. Adding alcohol is never a good idea anyway.
Second of all, I hate to say this but you hit him first. I'm a female and I'm a SMALL female; 5ft tall, 100 lbs. but I will tell you this: NEVER hit somebody without expecting to get hit back. And if you hit a man, expect to get hit back like a man. Some won't hit you back, but baby... some will. If I was him, I wouldn't say I'm sorry either. He was defending himself. You said yourself you were PUNCHING him.
If you can't control yourself when you drink, don't drink. He banged your head one too many times? I guess you'll never punch him again, will you? I'm sorry, I do think you started the fight and I do think you should end the relationship. I'm surprised he even stayed with you. I wouldn't have.
Domestic abuse is not just a man hitting a woman. It can and does go both ways. Women hit men, too. And in both cases, the person being hit should leave.
EDIT" Patricia, where do you get she was "open hand slapping him?" She wrote in black and white that she was PUNCHING him. I'm sorry; you hit someone, you get hit back. Learn your lesson and end the relationship, that's what I say.
2007-09-22 17:27:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you stay after all this crap you'll be in for more. And I'll say this- any beating you get from here on you're asking for. You may not deserve it but to stay in harm's way is stupid. He could have killed you. Whats it going to be like 10 years from now and you have young children that have to see and go through this?
Get gone now or get punished for the rest of your life. Screw the counseling and the DR Spock stuff. As a man I can tell you that a man capable of violence in this scenario will have no qualms about doing it again and for lesser reasons each time afterwards.
I've seen lots of girls just like you. Most of them have never been happy and some did not survive.
My advice is to get out but I don't think you'll listen. Few of the others did, and what a shame.
Good Luck
2007-09-22 17:24:55 · answer #6 · answered by RJR 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry. It sounds like you are both a little out of control. The booze appears to be the trigger, especially if nothing like this has ever happened while you were both sober.
So let's start by getting you both straightened out. Try going 30 days without any alcohol. If things are good for 30 days, then you'll start to love life together and maybe won't be tempted to take a drink anymore. If things don't stay good for the 30 days, or if one or both of you falls off the wagon, the best advice I can give you is to split up.
Why? Because booze plus the two of you together are obviously a dangerous combination. It looks to me like you two are faced with either a) giving up the alcohol or b) giving up each other.
Choose now, before things get out of hand. Good luck and God bless.
2007-09-22 17:20:05 · answer #7 · answered by bishopsjewels 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Starting a fight and getting your head bashed into a floor are two very separate things. Both of you were drunk and as a result neither of you were thinking clearly -- but that's not to say that either of your actions are excusable. You defintely need to sit down and talk (not shout, not fight, talk) to each other and determine how you're going to solve this. If he's not willing to do so without it resulting in a fight of some sort, and you're not willing to leave him just yet, then your only option is to seek counseling. If he does not comply, you will have to leave him.
No man or woman is worth your own serious harm or death, whether he/she is intoxicated or not. This is a dangerous sign that you cannot brush off lightly.
2007-09-22 17:22:41 · answer #8 · answered by Mad Medicine 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Being drunk is not an excuse to hit someone. Both of you are at fault for becoming physical with each other. Honestly for me I would leave him. If a guy hits me once it's over, there are no second chances with physical violence. He hit you and he's not even sorry. That should tell you right there that it will probably happen again. Do you really want to end up like one of those women on the Maury Povich show that get beaten regularly and just live with it?
2007-09-22 17:17:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
If he's doing this to you while you are engaged, what do you think he will do when you two are married? Take it form the daughter of an alcoholic who did the same to my mother, it was pure (insert not so nice word here) and I would not relive it again if I had the choice, even if that meant growing up without a father.
Like Tina Turner said, "What's love got to do with it?" If there is no mutual respect then a marriage won't work. You are setting yourself up for a failed marriage by staying with this guy.
2007-09-22 17:26:31 · answer #10 · answered by peaceablefruit206 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋