She said she found out i worked at a gay club from an online website and this furthered her suspicions she said.. She asked me if i was gay on the phone while it was on speaker phone and my mom heard everything.....my mom was shocked about me and the gay club thing. was my sister wrong? should i stop speaking to her? im really upset.....but dont know what to think. im 21 yrs old almost done with college and we do no really have a close relationship...we talk every 5 months or so about nothing important...i dont understand why she finds the need to ask me when we arent close....im thinking about not having her at my grad anymore...
2007-09-22 16:10:21 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
btw my sis didnt know my mom was listening and i was in a state of shock...so yah. my mom has been weird with me all day and my sis texted me a sorry the day it happened but hasnt called me back.
2007-09-22 16:32:38 · update #1
Nobody should out another person, period. If she wanted to ask you, that's one thing. But the whole drama of having your mother listening in is just plain childish.
2007-09-22 16:18:32 · answer #1 · answered by Zaggy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, yes I think that you should be upset about this and that is because coming out should be done on the individual's terms. Clearly that was not the case here. You thought that you were having a one on one convo with your sister. If the truth were known, she probably had the phone on speaker purposely so that your mom could/would hear it. It should have been your decision whether to come out, and to whom, and when. Your sister prevented you from doing that.
How to deal with this...tough question. I think it would be a good idea to go and talk to your mom about things. It would be good for her to hear your "full story" about this.
As for your sister...what she did was terrible, but I would be hard pressed to tell anyone not to forgive. Though it's hard not to, being angry and hoding in hate and other negative emotions won't do you any good. I do think that you need to talk to your sister and tell her what her actions did to you, and that she has made life more difficult. It's hard enough being gay in today's society, and you surely don't need family members doing that sort of thing to you, making things that much worse.
Good luck, and I am sure that after you talk to your mom, she will be OK. I hope that you will be too. Feel free to email me at john_r820@yahoo.com if you need to vent.
2007-09-22 16:37:59 · answer #2 · answered by john 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should be upset. She has no right to ask (on speaker phone yet) anything about your sex life. HOWEVER, that being said, she is your sister and you do need a way to work this out. Maybe now is the time for the two of you to become closer. You can be the role model by telling her exactly how her behavior made you feel. Let her know that your sex life is intensely personal and that you would never ask about hers (presumably you are too much of a gentleman to do so). Don't lock her out of your life, though. Life is short and we miss our family the most in the end. Good luck to you. I hope this turns out to be a cloud with a silver lining for you and your family. At least now you are talking. Please keep talking.
2007-09-22 16:17:03 · answer #3 · answered by swarr2001 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it is your sister's existence- no longer your's. It does not sound like she's being thoroughly irresponsible- she is working finished-time, and has her very own place. If she did no longer ask you for money or for help with the toddler, then in basic terms permit it bypass. take care of touch along with her- do no longer isolate her out of your existence. it variety of feels as in the experience that your dating is already strained. She is an grownup, and is responsible for her strikes. possibly the advent of somewhat one, and the top that their jobs won't help a baby would be an incentive for them to pursue greater training. there is a good style of stress to attend college in our society, yet that doesn't recommend the fake concept that going into debt with the desire of having a "greater advantageous pastime" in this economy is sweet. maximum recent alumni i'm familiar with are working minimum salary jobs. the foremost to getting a miles better pastime is stressful paintings, and stepping right into a wealthy field. the real purpose of faculty is to advance a deep know-how of a progressing occupation. there's a extensive distinction between vocation and employment. My mum and dad have been 15 and 17 whilst i became born, so i recognize that's a hazard to stay to tell the story.
2016-10-09 16:32:48 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They might have been shocked abuot the club thing , and possibly thinking of lots of things you might be doing there , IE selling sex etc . ALtho you may not be doing those type of things, never kno tho, this may be their assumption , i mean cmon she got her answer by a website for a club so , there may have been lots of wild things running through their heads. Im pretty sure they had an incling you were gay but the club website thing might have put crazy notions in their heads of what you might be doing for money.
2007-09-22 16:48:44 · answer #5 · answered by BPEN CHAI BORORO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was wrong for your sister to do this without your permission. But unless your mom now hates you, I think that it might be it a good thing that your mom knows that you are gay. It takes the pressure off you.
2007-09-22 16:18:49 · answer #6 · answered by ren 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have every right to be mad if my family found out I was gay thay would disown me and i know that sounds harsh but that's just the way thay are i think you should give her some time to say her sorries and if she does not than just go on with your life a lot of my friends tell me that if my family really loves me than thay wont care that I'm gay but thay don't understand that we are from the south and were I'm from it is unheard of so i know were your coming from and you have my support all the way
2007-09-22 16:24:22 · answer #7 · answered by tommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'd be upset about how it happened and what she did to you. But on the other hand, now you're "out" and not face-to-face with her or your mom. Your mom will have time to take it in and come to terms with it. With your sister, well, you can be mad at her but didn't she really kind of help you too?
2007-09-22 16:18:15 · answer #8 · answered by WildOne 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your sister does not call back in the next day or two, call her and tell her how you felt. I would be very upset. If she knew she was on speaker, she should not blurt out things other people would hear.
2007-09-22 19:21:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah u have the right to be pissed. NOW GET OVER IT!
I do understand your more deeper feelings about your sister betrayal.
They are still your family at the end of the day. Give them time .You only have one life to live pls enjoy it
2007-09-22 17:01:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋